ALCS II: Phranchise v Texas, Colby v Bombers

Wadda game. Robi Cano, how do I love thee? Let me count the ..um.. never mind. It’s another day and Phil Hughes phaces the Rangers while Nolan Ryan and Dubya wonder, “wha happen?”
Comment away.

NY Yankees
D. Jeter ss .400
C. Granderson cf .333
M. Teixeira 1b .000
A. Rodriguez 3b .200
R. Cano 2b .750
N. Swisher rf .000
J. Posada c .000
L. Berkman dh .000
B. Gardner lf .333
P. Hughes NA
Texas
E. Andrus ss .333
M. Young 3b .400
J. Hamilton cf .250
V. Guerrero dh .000
N. Cruz rf .333
I. Kinsler 2b .000
D. Murphy lf .000
B. Molina c .000
M. Moreland 1b 1.000
C. Lewis NA

86 comments… add one

  • I just puked in my mouth. WTF was that?

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 4:27 pm
  • Bizarre bottom of one. I’m thinking I should be pissed but it is too early.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 4:33 pm
  • The ump has an interesting strike zone again…

    krueg October 16, 2010, 4:33 pm
  • Ump calls strikes that don’t exist today.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 4:34 pm
  • What a stroke by Cano.. but foul.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 4:34 pm
  • Robi took that 1-2 for a ride. Wow.. what a stroke. You be lucky, CJ.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 4:36 pm
  • Swisher pulls a double to the RF corner. CJ is getting hit on rails.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 4:37 pm
  • Tired of filler such as “Posada is 3 out of 15 in the post-season”.
    I farted 4 out of 7 hours while trying to sleep after eating meat loaf last Tuesday.
    Pointless.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 4:39 pm
  • 3-1 to Jorge is a strike at the knees. Full count inside walks Jorge. Berkman with two on, two out.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 4:40 pm
  • Didn’t get a run. Feck.
    But lefties are ripping Wilson.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 4:42 pm
  • Murphy just hit one off the moon to make it 2-0 Rangers.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 4:49 pm
  • TBS Crew: “I’m looking at the man in the mirror.”
    Ick.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 4:51 pm
  • Phil pheels unphit.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 4:54 pm
  • Yanks walk Josh Hamilton to bring up Vlad with bases loaded.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 4:56 pm
  • Groundout to ARod.
    Announcers are awful.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 4:57 pm
  • TBS pitch tracker strikes out Gardner in advance and has to start over.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:01 pm
  • Gardner works a 10 or 11 pitch at bat.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:03 pm
  • Lines out to center, Jeter up, who cuts for a miss and takes one inside for a strike.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:04 pm
  • Jeter beats out a slow roller.
    TBS announcers are slightly less interesting to listen to than a leaky toilet.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:07 pm
  • Granderson gets grazed by a bouncing breaker and takes his base.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:10 pm
  • Ernie Johnson has to try just a _little bit_ harder to not be such a Yankee hater.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:12 pm
  • Nice inside out double by Cruz on the 0-2

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:18 pm
  • Decent bunt by Kinsler, then Murphy hits a breaking ball he shouldn’t have been able to get to, scoring Cruz. 4-0 Rangers.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:20 pm
  • Molina doubles to right center scoring Murphy. Bring in AJ now and get the bloodletting over with now, so says I.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:21 pm
  • “THAT BALL IS HIT TO LEFT!!”
    It was a pop fly.
    Not everyone needs to be John Sterling.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:22 pm
  • tbs guy just got excited by a pop-up…glad to see they’re not showing their bias…this is ugly, but now that we’ve given them the 5 run handicap, we can shut ‘em down and come back and win this thing…

    dc October 16, 2010, 5:23 pm
  • Robi is killing it. Double to the wall to lead off the fourth.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:26 pm
  • “MY VOICE IS SO BIG I HAVE TO PARK IT ON THE STREET.”

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:29 pm
  • Jorge chases out and up for a K. That’s two strikeouts while Robi wonders who else is playing today.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:31 pm
  • Lance Berkman rips a shot off Moreland’s glove hand up the first base line but then immediately forgets that he’s really fucking slow. And old. And slow. Aanndd .. aallmmoosstt ..mmaakkeess ..iitt tteenn ffeett ppaasstt ffiirrsstt.. before getting tagged out. But he does plate Robi, who says, “ABOUT FUCKING TIME!”

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:35 pm
  • I never thought I would miss Joe Buck and Tim McCarver.
    Then again I never thought.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:40 pm
  • Actually, now that I think about it, I want Remy to do color for this game.
    Hard rip to Swisher by Vlad.. Hamilton had broke early and was doubled up off first easily to end the fourth.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:42 pm
  • ag — I was thinking the same thing about Buck and McCarver, haha.. the Yanks got to step it up..

    Lar October 16, 2010, 5:45 pm
  • Literally every single pitch Lewis throws in a strike…exact same pitch for Hughes is a ball. Fucking ridiculous.

    krueg October 16, 2010, 5:47 pm
  • Grandy has a good eye, while the plate is getting verrrry wide to Teixeira.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:50 pm
  • had the same feeling krueg…strike zone is very funky again…honestly thought we’d get to this guy by now…we had some hard hit balls in the 2nd but nothing to show for it…now, here he is in the 5th, hanging around…sheesh

    dc October 16, 2010, 5:50 pm
  • maybe cliff lee will choke…

    dc October 16, 2010, 5:51 pm
  • Regardless of the crappy ump, Hughes is far less impressive than I hoped he would be.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:54 pm
  • agree ag

    dc October 16, 2010, 5:54 pm
  • Yep.

    krueg October 16, 2010, 5:55 pm
  • but, i’d also like to think we can score more than 1 off this guy…

    dc October 16, 2010, 5:55 pm
  • And as I write it, Cruz has two strikes, but then Hughes serves him a meatball that’s driven just shy of a homer in center.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:56 pm
  • I’m not blaming it all of the strike zone…but it’s ridiculous. Some of these guys are all over the place and it hurts us a lot more than the free-swinging teams.

    krueg October 16, 2010, 5:56 pm
  • Another laser beam, this one to the right corner. I don’t think Hughes has any more business being in this game.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:57 pm
  • No way we have magic of historic proportions on back-to-back games…I’m out.
    I have to get ready to watch the Sabres lose again tonight too.
    Yippee Doo.

    krueg October 16, 2010, 5:58 pm
  • he may have set a record for giving up 2 strike hits…looks like we’re gonna get cc for game 4…does the “t” in tbs stand for texas?

    dc October 16, 2010, 5:58 pm
  • True, Krueg. I just can’t figure out this RIDICULOUS pattern with Hughes serving up fatties to guys when up in the count.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 5:59 pm
  • yeah, i’m out in a bit too…gotta go watch the gators with some friends…not sure why, but whatever…yanks do better when i’m not watching anyway…

    dc October 16, 2010, 6:00 pm
  • I’m out soon as well; time to be dad. Though I am going to tape the rest of this and the Halladay/Lincecum game. Don’t have the Sabres. :*(

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 6:01 pm
  • _filthy_ pitch by Joba on the full count.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 6:03 pm
  • Now Molina goes down on a tipped third strike.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 6:05 pm
  • how funny would it be if the 2nd game today was 10-9 with both starters being knocked out in the first inning?…i know, i know, i have a better chance of santa bringing me that pony i keep asking for, but i still think it would be funny after all the hype…how stupid is the antler thing?…how stupid did sager look standing under the deer head?…where is peta?

    dc October 16, 2010, 6:06 pm
  • give me a bleepin’ break

    dc October 16, 2010, 6:07 pm
  • That whole piece regarding the deer head was hilarious. I don’t have a problem with hunting, but seriously? Recovering addict kills deer, antler broken then repaired, team wistful.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 6:13 pm
  • I feel really bad for John Smoltz. He’s smart and insightful and brings quick topical information.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 6:15 pm
  • Holy Shit. Robi KILLED that ball.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 6:16 pm
  • What a gorgeous swing.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 6:17 pm
  • i know i shouldn’t be making fun of the team that is currently spanking us, but they do something with a claw too…what does that mean again?…hankies, cowbells, drums, rally monkeys, wtf…at least there are no vuvezuelas, or whatever those stinkin’ things are…

    dc October 16, 2010, 6:27 pm
  • cano’s been amazing…to think there was actually talk about trading him a couple of years ago…then again, the yanks came close to trading pettitte, and be still my heart, mo…yikes

    dc October 16, 2010, 6:28 pm
  • Nice at bat by Thames.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 6:31 pm
  • see ya ag….please finish this up on a positive note

    dc October 16, 2010, 6:37 pm
  • Johnson trying to get Smoltz to cotton to cheating.
    Feeling more bad for Smoltz.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 6:41 pm
  • Later, dc.. not sure what I can do when only Robi can hit.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 6:43 pm
  • The ump has been putting us in a hole all game long…

    krueg October 16, 2010, 6:59 pm
  • Top eight, Swisher at the plate.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:15 pm
  • Nick, next time put your right foot out, not pull it in. We need the base.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:16 pm
  • No hokey pokey needed. Oh wait, there’s Craig Sager.
    Now the game feels so much more human.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:17 pm
  • I’m sorry, but ringing up Jorge Posada at this particular moment does not count as a “Big Out.”
    It’s more like, “you do get paid to pitch Major League Baseball, don’t you?”

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:19 pm
  • Nice play by Kinsler.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:21 pm
  • I think that Ernie really did just say in his booming baritone, “That’s the difference between having runners at first and third with one out and a runner at second with two if that ball gets by Kinsler.” … cut to commercial …

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:24 pm
  • I just made sure the color correction was straight on my tv. From what I see, it’s bright red, bright white, and royal blue or it’s crap.
    The Yankees are un-American.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:32 pm
  • The Yanks got to get going one of these games, though forecast for next game not so good. It’s either that or the Yanks got to start pitching.. one or the other..

    Lar October 16, 2010, 7:32 pm
  • tMobile: kids are free until 2012 (on a “family” plan). In other news, the doctor who just did your prostate exam comped your next visit.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:38 pm
  • Hamilton swipes second and Jorge holds up on the throw. The guys say something else about Hamilton’s deer’s broken rack. We get it. Josh Hamilton is horny.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:41 pm
  • Does anyone think Foster’s tastes good? Nobody I know from Australia thinks so.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:44 pm
  • “Feliz is just 22 years old. He was 21 before that.”

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:45 pm
  • Nolan Ryan looks as much a dork as anyone else who puts their sunglasses on top of their ballcap. But he can noogie you.
    Jeter down swinging.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:47 pm
  • Granderson pulls a would be dinger 20′ right of the pole up first. It’s all high fast stuff from Feliz to Curtis.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:49 pm
  • Another walk to Grandy. Teixeira up.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:50 pm
  • Teix walks. ARod to the plate with runners on 1st/2nd, one away.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:54 pm
  • ARod takes a pitch on the inside corner, then a pitch away for a ball. The 1-1 fastball leaves ARod late and under the pitch.
    1-2: chopped to third, 5-3 pushes the runners to second and third and brings up Robi.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:56 pm
  • Two outs. Cano takes (very) high for ball one. The next pitch is at least a half foot outside but is called a strike.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:57 pm
  • The 1-1 is higher than the first.
    Ron Darling says something. Tom Smoltz laughs with his mouth, but not with his eyes.
    Gotta love Modern Family.
    Cano tips a foul for 2-2.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 7:58 pm
  • Deuces: Cano jacks one the other way to the track but not quite far enough.
    The Rangers win. ThaaaAaaaaaaaAaaa Rangers WIN!
    Enough of this horse shit. Bring on Cliff Lee.

    attackgerbil October 16, 2010, 8:00 pm
  • “…Nolan Ryan looks as much a dork as anyone else who puts their sunglasses on top of their ballcap….”
    thanks ag….i was wondering if it was just me that thought that look was dorky…i see guys doing that indoors, at night…i think they look like idiots, but they seem to think it’s cool…i guess you never know when the sun will suddenly pop out at night, indoors…

    dc October 17, 2010, 9:40 am
  • I am crap in the hat. Let’s go (clapclapclap) on an adventure… I can wear a ball cap sometimes, but it is such a dismal result. It hurts me to think that I made people look at me wearing a stupid baseball lid, or an expensive alternative, while they politely swallow their vomit. I’ve been quite effectively bald for a long time. The hat doesn’t make it better.

    attackgerbil October 17, 2010, 2:22 pm

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