Analysis Ranks Red Sox As The No. 1 Franchise In The Majors

USA Today reports that USA Today has conducted a heady scientific study that concluded that the Boston Red Sox are the best franchise in the Major Leagues. Independent auditors combed through the voluminous documentation. After vetting all research and checking all references, they concluded that the epic, canonical study was partially flawed in that the authors failed to point out the fact that the Red Sox are guilty of being “too awesome.”

3 comments… add one

  • Didn’t realize John Henry was a Nigel Hufnel fan:
    “The two recent World Series championships fuel our desire for a third,” Henry says. “We are fortunate to have bright, talented, committed people who enjoy working together and are never satisfied. If we rate something as a ‘9,’ we ask why it isn’t a ’10.’ If something is a ’10,’ we ask why can’t we improve on that.”
    The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and…
    Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
    Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
    Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it’s louder? Is it any louder?
    Nigel Tufnel: Well, it’s one louder, isn’t it? It’s not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You’re on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you’re on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
    Marty DiBergi: I don’t know.
    Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
    Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
    Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
    Marty DiBergi: Why don’t you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
    Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.
    THIS IS SPINAL TAP!!!!!!

    BillsBurgSF November 10, 2008, 11:03 pm
  • FAIL – would have been funnier if I spelled the name right in the beginning. Tufnel vs. Hufnel.

    BillsBurgSF November 11, 2008, 7:20 am
  • No good place to post this.
    Another of the old Brooklyn Dodgers immortalized in Roger Kahn’s book The Boys of Summer has died.
    Preacher Roe died Sunday in Missouri. He was 92.
    I don’t have it handy. Wasn’t Preacher the short-time beneficiay of the hunting dogs at contract time? That’s one of my favorite anecdotes from the book.

    I'mBillMcNeal November 11, 2008, 8:48 am

Leave a Comment

Next post:

Previous post: