He’s been in-and-out more often than Ron Jeremy, but his decision is now final: A-Rod will play in the World Baseball Classic, and he will play for these United States of America. (Let the Dominican be damned!) Eric Chavez, Chipper Jones, and David Wright will warm his seat on the bench. The streets of South Florida, Arizona, and San Diego (or wherever Team USA plays) will be safe for careless underage pedestrians.
God bless this great nation, and God bless our troops.