A-Rod: To the Rescue

He’s been in-and-out more often than Ron Jeremy, but his decision is now final: A-Rod will play in the World Baseball Classic, and he will play for these United States of America. (Let the Dominican be damned!) Eric Chavez, Chipper Jones, and David Wright will warm his seat on the bench. The streets of South Florida, Arizona, and San Diego (or wherever Team USA plays) will be safe for careless underage pedestrians.

God bless this great nation, and God bless our troops.

29 comments… add one
  • YF neglected to link to the wire photo of what happened to A-Rod just after he made his decision.

    Here it is.

    SF January 18, 2006, 11:05 am
  • ah, yes…A-Rod suffered the Hamletian fate of so many overwhelmed thinkers. Check out the phenomenom here:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exploding_head

    Nick January 18, 2006, 11:13 am
  • Excellent, Nick. We’ll have to add a picture of Steinbrenner’s melon blowing up when A-Rod blows out his Achilles fielding a ball against Australia.

    SF January 18, 2006, 11:26 am
  • The great joy here is that members of RSN are stuck rooting—come on now—for A-Rod, Turncoat Johnny, Jeets, and the Rocket. I mean, they have to, right? You can’t root against America. Or the terrorists win.
    It’s kind of beautiful.

    YF January 18, 2006, 11:29 am
  • Paint me terrorist then. But, since I don’t have a NYPD, various ribbon magnet or American Flag plastered all over my car, I guess I’m a terrorist anyhow, right?
    I’d rather see them lose than see “Jeets” make the play to win it.
    Clemens, on the other hand, is the sole reason I love baseball. My first Sox game ever ever as a youngster came on a day he struck out 20 against the Mariners. I’ve always rooted for him – well, not always but most of the time. There was that stint of a few years I wished for it all to come to a crashing halt.

    Brad-SF January 18, 2006, 11:42 am
  • Brad, correction: since you don’t own a bald eagle, you’re a terrorist.
    funny about Clemens getting you into baseball, I’m kinda the opposite. When I was younger, I was drawn to more peripheral players. My favorite player growing up was Willie Randolph. I was a small kid, who was fast, made good contact, took the occasional walk, and always batted 2nd or 1st. I liked the fact that he was role player, and seemed happy not being the center of attention, unlike, say, a Jason Varitek. That meglomaniac!

    Nick January 18, 2006, 11:52 am
  • YF, exposing his true misanthropy, just doesn’t get it. Rooting for guys in international competitions is an entirely different beast. Note how Lombardian Juve fans can put down their regional antipathy to root for Totti in the World Cup, or how Merseysiders root for Beckham during qualifiers, or how Lakers fans got behind both Magic and Bird in Barcelona ’92. It’s not much different for me, though I can’t say that I have a jingoistic desire for the US squad to walk away victorious; I don’t have that kind of blind pride. I just want to see compelling baseball, and if that means Jeter, A-Rod, Damon, etc., so be it – watching the best of our players can’t be looked upon as an emotional chore, particularly when there are no Yankees or Red Sox uniforms anywhere in sight.
    Those of us intrigued by the WBC are hoping to see great baseball all across the board, from whichever player happens to join in. If only you could understand that, your world view would be a heck of a lot less nasty, curmudgeonly.

    SF January 18, 2006, 11:57 am
  • And for clarification: not having a pin of the Stars and Stripes in your lapel makes you a terrorist.

    Sam January 18, 2006, 12:44 pm
  • apropos of nothing
    Johnny Damon:
    ““You know you can walk away from a little bit of money: a million, million and a half, maybe even two, because my heart was with Boston. But $3 million dollars [per year]. My brother’s family is very secure now.”
    “. . . We kept telling them, make us your final offer. They just didn’t do it. I think they felt like I was washed up because I was playing hurt all year last season and they knew it.”
    Johnny took the money as an altruistric gesture to help his brother. So, it wasn’t a greedy decision. It was about respect. Take that, sox fans who feel betrayed by Damon.

    Nick January 18, 2006, 2:16 pm
  • Well thank god he didn’t go to Phidaldelpia, the city of broth….oh, nevermind.

    YF January 18, 2006, 2:21 pm
  • Lucky thing his brother had another four years of huge paychecks coming in.

    Brad-SF January 18, 2006, 2:33 pm
  • Nick, you’re neglecting the facts about Johnny’s brother. Damon made a deal with his older sibling just after he became a free agent that anything over $40M contractually was subject to a “Donny Damon” surcharge of .01%, so Donny’s clearing $120K thanks to the Yankees bigger offer. Like Johnny said, that ought to keep Donny, his wife Donna, and their eight kids (Donny Jr, Donny III, Frida, Homer, Marge, Maggie, Lisa, and Bart) living the high life through at least ’08. Who can blame Johnny for looking out for a sib?

    SF January 18, 2006, 2:45 pm
  • I feel for Damon’s other brother Daryl who didn’t have the savvy to sign with Johnny when he had the chance. Apparently advised by his agent that he wasn’t in a position of maximum leverage and it boiling down to a “respect” issue. Now, Daryl is left flippin’ burgs at a Columbia MO DQ. Maybe he should initiate talks with Tom Hicks. That guy’s always good for some stupid $$.
    Hey, Brad, Mile High is gonna rock this Sunday…

    Spidey January 18, 2006, 5:32 pm
  • Re: the WBC.
    YF, you are aware that there are Red Sox players on the US team, right? How are you going to feel when Jason Varitek has a key block at the plate that prevents the tying run from scoring? Or when Mike Timlin gets a huge K to send the game into extra innings? Huh??
    Oh wait…I forgot that Yankee fans always believe everything is about the Yankees and Yankee players. Nevermind. :-P

    Sox Fan in VT January 19, 2006, 3:18 am
  • HERE WE GO BRONCOS, HERE WE GO!
    clap
    clap
    clapclap
    clap
    Repeat as necessary. Often and in increasing passion.
    Spidey, this game is going to be unbelievable! I have the Sam, the wings, the chips and salsa, and the grill ready to roll those Brats around. Can’t wait!

    Brad January 19, 2006, 9:14 am
  • SF and RSFVT: What in this thread or elsewhere would lead anyone to suggest an animosity, on our part, to Sox players that would spill over onto Team USA? (Okay: Schilling we’re not crazy about, but that’s more for his politics than his uniform.) Lighten up!
    Brad and Spidey: congatulations on the success of the Broncos. There aren’t many times that “your” team can labor in obscurity, and then make a run toward a championship. When that happens, and it doesn’t happen often, there’s nothing sweeter. It’s one of the great rewards of fandom, and it’s nice to see it happening for you two, from afar, in a sport I no longer really care much about. Anyway, with the Giants dismissed, i suppose I need to choose a side, so–why not?–count me on the bandwaggon. Go Broncos.

    YF January 19, 2006, 10:27 am
  • Go Panthers! The Broncos ain’t coming from obscurity. Didn’t they put together a run of championships in the late ’90s? Definitely the team to pull for is the one with the former Taco Bell employee who is putting together the most dominant performance by a wide reciever since Jerry Rice.

    Nick January 19, 2006, 11:20 am
  • What in this thread or elsewhere would lead anyone to suggest an animosity, on our part, to Sox players that would spill over onto Team USA?
    Why would you have animosity towards players from a team of honorable, likeable, upstanding, intelligent, characters, including a 40 man roster that is 5% Jewish? With us it’s more understandable, as the Yankees organization is chock-full of the arrogant, the misanthropic, the idiotic, and the convicted.
    From a personal standpoint I can’t say I really care who wins the WBC or who knocks in a winning run, whether it’s Varitek or Jeter I really couldn’t care less. I am more interested in first seeing how hard these guys play, whether it’s just a glorified all-star game with little intensity, or if it really is baseball’s version of the World Cup. Hopefully it leans closer to the latter.

    SF January 19, 2006, 11:24 am
  • Seconded, Nick. On what planet is YF living where the Broncos have “toiled in obscurity”? Probably the same planet where making a post about Donny Damon’s kids Homer, Marge, Lisa, Bart, and Maggie qualifies me for a “lighten up” reprimand. Yeesh.

    SF January 19, 2006, 11:25 am
  • SF, I believe Schilling was convicted of being a Class A Douchebag.
    (and the jokes just keep rolling along)

    Nick January 19, 2006, 11:32 am
  • Nick, that might not even qualify as a joke!

    SF January 19, 2006, 12:01 pm
  • heckler

    Nick January 19, 2006, 12:08 pm
  • What I mean is, you may be speaking a truth.

    SF January 19, 2006, 12:46 pm
  • Yeesh. I’ll defend my “out of nowhere” assertion. Going into the playoffs, it seemed to me all talk was about the Colts and Pats, Seattle, and the Bears. And Carolina was all up in our Giants grill. So, yeah, back in the Elway days the Broncos were favorites, but not this year. Perhaps you’re just bitter because they kicked the crap out of your beloved Pats.
    PS: Brady ain’t no Montana.

    YF January 19, 2006, 12:47 pm
  • You’re right about that. He’s probably better.

    SF January 19, 2006, 1:17 pm
  • Broncos, Panthers, Giants … who cares about hockey?
    Only ~30 days until pitchers and catchers!

    Joe January 19, 2006, 2:08 pm
  • Unless of course you meant Montana, the huskiest and most boring member of the Real World/Road Rules Gauntlet II, who Brady’s got nothing on.
    But I think you meant Joe. In which case my comment stands.

    SF January 19, 2006, 2:20 pm
  • yeah, I say this with all the sincerity in the world:
    I hope Montana’s back hurts.
    Elway
    Unitas
    Marino
    Montana
    and about ten tied for the last spot.
    But, I’m a homer.

    Brad January 19, 2006, 4:37 pm
  • toolsheds

    Anonymous February 7, 2006, 2:14 pm

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