Baby Boomer

David Wells went off yesterday during a Q&A with the Sox’ press corps, and now the Boston front office has gone and shown up their beefy lefty by apologizing to the Commissioner for his rambling, oft-humorous comments. Luckily, the whole shebang was broadcast in full yesterday during the Sox’ rain delay on NESN, and Wells came off as (surprisingly) neither a fabricator nor a cretin, but, shockingly, as a reasonable and affable child with a massive persecution complex.  Paranoiacs are always entertaining, particularly if you throw a microphone in front of them right after they’ve been embarrased publicly and fined $300K for not doing much of anything.  Wells did not disappoint.

As for reality? Common sense dictates that about 50% of what Wells said was true (really, can the Commish’s office be trusted any more than Wells?), 25% was half true, and the remaining 25% were fairy tales concocted benignly, as a child might, in his own solipsistic world.  Anyhow, Boomer’s got some time off, and we have a suggestion that he might consider to occupy his free time

6 comments… add one

  • Interesting double standard you’ve established for Sheffield. When Gary goes off at the lip and opines (reasonably, I might add) about Selig’s plans for a world baseball competition you compare him to Rumsfield, a cretin in just about anyone’s book. Wells whines about his punishment, and in the process attacks a policy bargained by his association, and you call him a reasonable and affable child.
    Just making something out of nothing. Fanning the flames.

    Nick August 30, 2005, 1:35 pm
  • Hey, I don’t think likening a 42 year old supposed adult to a paranoid, living-in-fantasyland child is that flattering a portrayal. But that’s just me.
    There is a difference between Sheffield and Wells, however, and that’s in their senses of humor, of which Sheffield seemingly has none. Wells, on the other hand, is pretty funny, and that takes the edge off quite a bit of his self-centeredness and sense of victimization. Humor goes a long way. I think it’s why some of you still read this blog: if YF and I were unable to laugh at ourselves, we’d be unreadable, boring, and self-important, much more than we already are! ;-)

    SF August 30, 2005, 2:56 pm
  • Another difference between Wells and Sheffield is that for a time in the late 90′s Wells was a good friend of Mark Fuhrman. I’m guessing they exchanged some pretty hilarious jokes about race.
    Also, just because you don’t understand the profound comedy that is the Gary Sheffield monthly outburst doesn’t mean the guy isn’t funny. Take, for instance, his take on Barry Bonds from last year’s Sports Illustrated article. Basically, he complains about Bonds stealing his personal chef from him. That’s a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode if ever there was one. Of course it’s the deadpan delivery that makes it that much funnier. Ah, Gary. There was Andy Kaufman and now there’s you.

    Nick August 31, 2005, 10:00 am
  • Nice call Nick — I’d forgotten about that. So maybe they aren’t that different after all.
    “He [slugger Manny Ramirez] is messing with my cake.” — David Wells
    “He [slugger Barry Bonds] is messing with my chef, and hence with my cake.” — Gary Sheffield

    Earl August 31, 2005, 11:35 am
  • That’s funny. YF stole my personal chef too. I heard he’s now living on a steady diet of frosted flakes and Swanson’s chicken pot pie.

    SF August 31, 2005, 12:28 pm
  • I’m surprised anyone’s come down on Wells. I think he was pretty harmless, and anyone who tells Selig where to stick it is A-OK in my book.
    Plus, he backs it up when he pitches, which is all I need.

    Steve August 31, 2005, 12:44 pm

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