****Breaking News**** “Yanks Acquire Stewart

****Breaking News**** “Yanks Acquire Stewart Smalley from SNL” New York–(AP). He helped Michael Jordan regain his confidence after his sad foray into baseball, and now veteran Saturday Night Live self-help guru Steward Smalley has been acquired by the New York Yankees to boost the morale of struggling pitchers Jeff Weaver and David Wells. “They’re smart enough, they’re good enough, and doggone it, people like them,” said Smalley. “Okay, maybe people don’t really like them, but we’re working on it,” he later conceded. In exchange for Smalley, the Yankees optioned minor leaguer Drew Henson to the NBC comedy show: “His career is a joke, so he should fit right in over there,” said Yankee GM Brian Cashman. **** Should the Yankees hold on to win the pennant, we’ll be able to look back at Nick Johnson’s at-bat against Pedro on Saturday as one of the fulcrom points in the season. It’s hard to imagine either of these teams taking a title with their dicey bullpens. No lead is safe with either team. It’s exciting, but hardly encouraging.

Posted by YF on 9/2/2003 12:57:08 PM