My Ponson Analysis

YF’s previous post covers this already but I needed to share my thoughts on the Sidney Ponson signing. This is a moment in Yankees history that is so absurd and, perhaps, epoch making that it deserves two posts.

Brian Cashman lost a bet to Theo Epstein about which team would be in first at the All-Star break. The loser had to do something to publicly embarrass himself and the franchise he runs. Thus spake Young Cashman to curious reporters:  "He’s still got a great arm." And so the era of The Aruban Hideki Irabu begins in the Bronx. What to expect?

  • Hilarity
  • Sweating on the mound
  • That Joe Torre "This is god damned ridiculous" look from the dugout. A lot.
  • A dramatic fist fight between Jorge and Sidney during a 45-pitch 3rd inning.
  • A mean-spirited, albeit accurately descriptive nickname handed down by The Boss in about a week
  • More hilarity

Call me a masochist, but I like the move. Ladies and gentlemen, Sidney Ponson is a Yankee! This will probably last about two weeks, but those 14 days are going to be so fun. It’s moments like this that make me happy that my favorite team isn’t run by humorless sabermetric types (As Petey would call them: Computer Geeks). Theo and company, so concerned about their reputations as baseball’s premiere cutting edge management team, would never dare make this bold move. But Cashman, Stick, Georgie and his Tampa cronies all know that baseball’s more than winning. It’s entertainment, specifically entertainment in the form of Farnsworthian meltdowns on the mound, merciless tabloid headlines and off-the-field shenanigans. And remember, fellow Yanks fans, this guy still has a great arm! To paraphrase "Mad Dog" Christopher Russo, you gotta love this move, Mikey, you gotta love it!

9 comments… add one
  • I assume you tagged this in the “sarcastic humor” category? If not, then it’s too bad we don’t have a “common sense long since cast off due to allegiance to Yankees” category…

    SF July 14, 2006, 12:30 pm
  • I think the only way to react to a Sidney Ponson signing is through humor and denial.

    Nick-YF July 14, 2006, 12:45 pm
  • I nominate this as best post of the month.

    Devine July 14, 2006, 1:30 pm
  • Wow, better than the World Cup post?!?! I am hurt that Sidney Ponson could be involved in anything that might be termed the “best”!!

    SF July 14, 2006, 1:50 pm
  • nah, the world cup post wins it for me. That’s on the all-time list. Beautiful stuff.

    Nick-YF July 14, 2006, 1:54 pm
  • I can’t take this one as my own, some poster over at Was Watching said it but it’s f’ing hilarious.
    Torre to Sidney: “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life son.”
    Ha! An “Animal House” reference! I can just picture Ponson reporting to Torre’s office today looking like Flounder. That mental picture is going to have me laughing all day.

    bloodyank78 July 14, 2006, 2:03 pm
  • Maybe Cashman thinks an AL East tie would be broken by an eat-off, and he needs someone to counter Wells?

    MP July 14, 2006, 2:10 pm
  • That’s fair enough, Nick and SF, but although I watched a bit of the World Cup, I just haven’t (yet) been grabbed by soccer/football to have real interest and therefore really appreciate SF’s post.
    This post made me laugh out loud, which isn’t common for me when reading, and the sarcasm is perfectly executed because it could ALMOST not be sarcasm. Plus I wonder if I’d be able to muster so much humor in the face of such a…strange (is that a polite enough term?) acquisition. Cheers to you, Nick.

    Devine July 14, 2006, 3:30 pm
  • I thought this was Yanks Fan Sox Fan — where are the Yankee fans?
    Nothing ventured, nothing gained with Ponson. He says today the Sox approached him too but that he’s always wanted to be a Yankee. Give the guy a break you semi-yanks fans. You probably thought Small was a bad idea last year oh ye of little faith!
    PS: Against everyone in the AL except the Orioles, the Sox are 31 and 32. Way to go Sox!

    just askin July 15, 2006, 8:29 am

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