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General Red Sox Humor

Can’t Stanza: The Dice-K Tommy John Surgery Haiku Contest

Four and a half years ago YF (where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?) put up one of the great posts of all time here at YFSF, the original haiku contest to memorialize the imminent arrivals of Daisuke Matsuzaka and Kei Igawa. It has been requested, in the wake of the ignominious announcement that the Sox’ Japanese pitcher will have Tommy John surgery, that we have a similar literary competition. Seeing as how much fun that one was, we say why not. Put your haiku in the comments. Winner, to be determined by yours truly (who said the internet was a democracy?), gets a real, live gyroball.

We’ll start it out after the jump.

one hundred million
a ball rumored to cartwheel
the sound of a flush

41 replies on “Can’t Stanza: The Dice-K Tommy John Surgery Haiku Contest”

Also, it’s fun looking bad at that old thread. My favorite (and probably the most accurate!) is from AndrewYF:
Pitch on four day’s rest?
Daisuke isn’t used to that.
Say goodbye, right arm.

Was that me? I forget if I had renamed myself AndrewYF by then. But if no other Andrew comes forward I’ll sure as hell take credit for it! Thanks Ath.
Here’s my contribution:
Oftentimes, with Dice
You have to roll a hard six
Got snake-eyes instead

wiggle shake wiggle
pause step off wiggle again
a throw comes at last

My wife giggles whenever Daisuke is pitching because she thinks his wiggle-butt-shake windup is adorable.

Reason #345 Why Nick Swisher Is a Great Ballplayer:
We has two walks in two at-bats tonight. That’s twice as valuable as Carl Crawford. And he’s not done yet!

I just have to say this:
What a dumb punk Papelbon is. He disgraces himself by blowing a FOUR RUN LEAD, and then tops that by arguing with the umpire and getting himself ejected.
My least favorite player in baseball. I don’t even care about the uniform. And I trust that many Red Sox fans feel the same way.

Well, Andrew, Papelbon is not exactly my favorite player either. But part of the disgrace of blowing the lead is on Pedroia who missed a double play which would have ended the game. And Papelbon has been royally squeezed this inning. The umpire is at least as much of an idiot.

tek shoulda bitch-slapped randazzo…deja vu style
papelbon is a douchebag…an embarrassment for sf’s who like to think their entire team is above such douchebaggery

Thank God Papelbon had the good sense to get himself ejected. Had the decision been left to the manager the game would have been lost before he would have been replaced. You saw douchebag, I saw player-manager savant!

using “papelbon”, “good sense”, and “savant” in the same, or almost the same, sentence is clearly in violation of this site’s TOS…can we get a ruling from the sitemasters please…

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