Categories
Humor

All Signs Point To..

I contemplate the time and money and coordination that went into this example of what I can only imagine is money in a budget that must be spent. It’s like someone had a challenged nephew that needed a summer job.

“Where The Sidewalk Ends” by Shel Silverstein wasn’t satisfying in its conclusion? I wish this was a farce. But it is a really well constructed and labelled barricade to let you know that if you walk around this sign, you won’t be on the non-existent sidewalk, which happens to be closed. If it existed.

When I walked around this incredibly ridiculous barricade, I spent that one second in fear that I would be shot by a sniper for not obeying the sign, while hoping with some sort of strange longing that on the other side, looking rearward, it would say, “SIDEWALK OPEN”, but alas, it was not the case.

Must be something like what baseball teams feel at the trade deadline.

Categories
Humor

Best.. Thing.. Ever.

Categories
FJM General Red Sox Humor

Worst Baseball Writing Of The Month

Dan Shaughnessy gets eviscerated by Rob Neyer over the recent Globe article wherein the CHB basically asks Ortiz when he stopped beating his wife.

Categories
Humor

Funny

I had a good laugh, much-needed, when @SteveMartinToGo tweeted:

Sometimes it is correct to use only one semicolon: Hey buddy, your fly is open ;

Categories
General Red Sox Humor

The Market

Dear Ben Larry:

Bookmark this and get to work.

Thanks!

SF

 

Categories
Humor

A Sporty, Confident Attitude

Nyyfragrance— photo from SF, who says this is visible everywhere on the F train

So. There I was, at Macy’s — of course — when I saw the most GORGEOUS man walking by, and right then I wanted to have his babies.  His musk smelled like bergamot.  I would go bergamot-shaped for him.  Hand to God, yes I would.  He made me tremble at the knees.  TREMBLE, I tell you.  And ivy leaves and coriander, like pastrami sandwiches eaten on a blanket in the park.  There was blue sage, not that whorish purple mind you, but Hampton Blue.  And Orange flowers with geranium, because somehow he just knew I like geraniums best.  They don’t bother.  And I swore I smelled patchouli and sandalwood, mixed with suede!  It was just like when I surprised Charlotte in her dorm room at Vassar while she was knee-deep in “study” with her history professor who couldn’t wear out the corduroy elbows on his jacket for the suede.

Will I ever see that man again? Here, sweetheart, put this on.

Categories
Humor

Breaking News: Anger Erupts Over Phil Hughes’ Recent Starts

IMG-20120413-00075

I'm not staying up for this one as as I'm 6 hours ahead, but I leave you with this photo from my walk over the weekend through Tahrir Square in Cairo, where protests are picking up again over who is and isn't allowed to run for President. I look forward to checking the gamer tomorrow for a profanity-laced string of comments from krueg. Go Yanks & good night.

Categories
Humor Music

Spotify’s New Embed Button Is All Kinds Of Groovy



*GRIN*! Thanks, Spotify.

Categories
Humor

Breaking: Peyton Manning Signs With Yankees

America’s great national wait is over. Peyton Manning’s handlers announced in the middle of negotiations with Denver that they have been instructed to talk with the New York Yankees. Manning becomes the number one starter on a pitching staff already bolstered by the potential return of Andy Pettitte, assuming that Pettitte doesn’t totally suck out in the minors. Freddy Garcia responded to the news of this latest addition to the burgeoning rotation: “I’m fucking pissed.”

The relief of a nation was best expressed by Mitt Romney, who was reached for comment in his Maybach in transit between his country club and his metropolitan athletic club: “Thank God. My campaign coordinator was certain Mr. Manning was going to declare himself the Republican nominee for President. I feel like I just passed a cue ball.”

Perhaps no one felt relief more than Denver quarterback Tim Tebow. “I guess, first and foremost, I’d like to thank my..” Tebow was interrupted by a profanity-laden tirade from John Elway, who threw a chair through a window before storming out of the room.

Categories
General Yankees Humor

Good News

Alex Rodriguez’ knee-mending in Dusseldorf did not involve any banned substances. What ticks me off is that the Germans knew this three years ago but he’s only now getting it fixed, even though the only downside is that his trick knee won’t tell him if there’s a rain a-comin’ anymore. That and the concern that every time he has to leg out a single he might run straight into Poland.

Categories
Humor

Bobby: “I Hate The Yankees”

Bobbyv

“I don’t want to waste valuable time talking about the Yankees.” Bobby V then went on a bit longer not talking about them by saying how he talked to Joe Girardi and used to love the Yankees before discovering his hatred for them, then moved onto other topics not Yankee-related.

This is gonna be fun.

Also, Ortiz accepted arbitration.

Categories
General Red Sox Humor

The Long Short Goodbye

Woke up this morning and found that Theo left a 1,600 word Dear John on the fridge.

Hey guys I’m leaving and just so you know I know September was all my fault and everyone else’s fault too except yours because you are the best fans ever but you should stop being so hard on me and the guys and me and 12-year-old me loves the Red Sox and everyone should remember that the Sox before September and right now and FutureSox are still totally awesome and I’m sorry I left the house a mess but it really isn’t and Ben is a super dude and he and some other guy will be great roommates and maybe they will even get along with Larry and we’re sorry for whatever we did or didn’t do that pissed you off and I won’t be here but we have a plan and I promise it won’t happen again unless it does and I’ll see you in June and maybe in October so anyway I love you bye bye now.

He kept his key.

Categories
General Red Sox General Yankees Humor

(Questionable) Analogy of the Day?

Derek Jeter:Brian Cashman :: Nomar Garciaparra:Theo Epstein?

Time will tell…

Categories
General Yankees Humor

Who’s That Driver?

Ccbrinks

Categories
General Red Sox Humor

Thought of the Day

If it keeps raining, we’ll have a playoff spot clinched in no time!

Categories
Current Affairs Humor

Awkward

From this point forward, there is a direct relationship between the number of Derek Jeter fist pumps makes in the next week and a half and the happiness of SF (to choose just one Sox fan at random). It turns out the schedule-makers were geniuses this season.