I’ve often wondered: what would happen if two serial killers bumped into each other? Would they be scared? Would they go at it until one came out on top? Would they bond over how misunderstood they are – maybe over a cup of coffee and a scone? Would they team up to wreak havoc together? Or would they just grunt in mutual acknowledgement and go their separate ways?
Call it a fascination with the improbable crossing of paths of two larger-than-life social misfits. But as much as you might look down on me for giving in to it, I am comforted by the fact that I am certainly not alone. What else could explain the market for such classics as Alien vs. Predator; Freddy vs. Jason; and King Kong vs. Godzilla?
Add to that list of contests between two figures – neither one of whom would anyone really want to hang out with – the clash of Kobe vs. Curt (see KobevCurt for transcript of Curt’s anti-Kobe diatribe and video of Kobe’s succinct response).
No, it’s not fair to put either of these elite athletes in the league of serial killers or murderous Hollywood mutants (don’t mutants get a bad enough rap as it is?), but still, time alone with either would place one at considerable risk of either being groped inappropriately on the one hand (is it even possible to be groped “appropriately”?) or suffocating under a relentless pile of verbal diarrhea on the other.
Of course, Schilling has achieved a certain mythical status in Boston thanks to his 2004 October exploits which we need not revisit (please, let’s not revisit), and Kobe is quickly rising to demi-god status in the city of angels, but even their most ardent fans must acknowledge that among many sports-fans (and not just anti-Curt YFs or anti-Kobe Celtic fans) these two are about as popular as Elliott Spitzer at a campaign kick-off event.
I give points to Kobe for his “Go Yankees” response (how could I not?), which seemed genuinely ad-libbed in response to a reporter’s request for comment, and I’m highly suspect that Curt would know what motivates Kobe’s teammates more than Kobe (if Pau Gasol pitched for the Sox, Curt might quickly find that nothing short of a hard kick in the backside with his bloody sock would get Gasol to give 100%), but at the end of the day, does anyone really care what either of these guys thinks, other than to enjoy the spectacle of them clashing in public?
Personally, I’m rooting for Mothra to come out on top.