Congratulations. You have won the mantle of “LFRS”. If you don’t know what that means, just call up Julio Lugo.
Look, I hear you are a nice man. A really nice man. But I don’t root for guys to be nice, I root for guys to make good plays. And I guess you are (or were, at some point) a really good baseball player, what with making the Majors and all and spending several years in the league. But since you have come to Boston I have seen you get two hits in total. Whether through sheer bad timing in my tuning in or otherwise, I have actually only seen you, quite literally, get two hits. I hear you are (or were) a tremendous defender, but I haven’t seen you make any tremendous plays. Even “really good” ones, either. It seems that whenever you do something it isn’t productive. That may be bad luck for you, but for me that lands you the moniker of “LFRS”, and from here on in that’s how I shall be referring to you at this site.
P.S. Tell Marco he came in second.
I hate you. You are my LFRS.