They will not perform at the level of their Pythagorean record, losing an inordinate number of close games.
Their final regular season record will be 150-12.
Curt Schilling will throw 1,000 pitches by April 15. His arm will fall off during the 12th inning of a game against the Mariners. The important thing is that Francona showed confidence in his ace up until the last gruesome second. Curt’s ego will be stroked.
755 fake syringes will be thrown at Barry Bonds during the 2006 season.
Big Papi will hit a home run every time SF or YF chooses to live-blog a Sox game. (Seriously, look it up, every time there’s a live game blog on this site, Ortiz hits a dinger. It’s uncanny and just a little annoying.)
Tino Martinez will say 856 inoffensive and generally boring things this year on Baseball Tonight, such as "Vladimir Guerrero is impossible to pitch around," or "David Wright hits to all fields." I will probably hang on his every word.