Easter Commiseration: Sox-Tigers, Yanks-Rays Sunday Sob Fest

Boston won the “whose team sucks harder” contest yesterday, failing to plate against that offensive juggernaut what be the Miggy-Prince tandem. But the Yankees also gave up 8 to the Rays and sit just as winless while Joe Maddon looks like some sort of frickin’ genius pushing his second baseman over to stonewall what should have been an up-the-middle single for ARod in the ninth. Joe is shiftier than a plate of jello served by Sofia Vergara on Joba’s trampoline. I’ve got eggs to go hunt, so I’ll be taking the lazy route and putting these gamers together.

Boston starts first, with Clay Buchholz getting the go while the Tigers send Max Scherzer. One half-hour later it’s Phil Hughes against the rather formidable right-hander Jeremy Hellickson, who happens to be pitching on his 25th birthday.

Enjoy your ham or hasenpfeffer or hot buttered battery acid and comment away.

103 comments… add one

  • This really sucks so far…

    krueg April 8, 2012, 1:05 pm
  • They should have had Jackson there.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 1:22 pm
  • Here we go again – 1-0 Tigers

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 1:24 pm
  • Announcers saying that Buchholz is very deliberate. I’d say he’s about to put everybody to sleep, as slow as he’s pitching.
    Except the Tigers are not asleep at all.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 1:26 pm
  • Three run double for Peralta as the ball pops out of Jacoby’s glove. 31 pitches for Buchholz. 4-0 Tigers after 1.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 1:36 pm
  • Two Sox runs while I’m away for a moment. That’s better.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 1:49 pm
  • Yankees go down with a whimper to the mighty Rays pitching again…
    Got a walk though.
    Woo hoo.
    Now let’s watch Hughes get lit up for about 4 in the first inning.

    krueg April 8, 2012, 1:51 pm
  • Bases loaded for Pedey. Two out.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 1:53 pm
  • And he strikes out. Of course, I am tempted to say.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 1:56 pm
  • Buchholz has two strikes on Raburn and then hits him with a curve. Whatever can go wrong goes wrong.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 2:00 pm
  • Ibanez boots a liner that should have been an out…
    …with 2 outs.
    0-1.
    Man on 3rd.
    Nice job.
    Did this team even fucking play in Spring Training??? Because they look like fucking dog shit at this point. This is fucking ridiculous.

    krueg April 8, 2012, 2:02 pm
  • 4 runs in the first on Friday…
    2 runs in the first on Saturday…
    1 run in the first on Sunday…
    3 of those are also unearned.
    Fucking. Pathetic.

    krueg April 8, 2012, 2:04 pm
  • What the fuck happened to Tex. Jesus Christ the guy cannot fucking hit anymore.
    Swish doubles.
    At least we didn’t get no-hit.
    No one will hit him in. That would require being “clutch” or even capable of hitting with RISP.
    Which we have not been in years it seems.

    krueg April 8, 2012, 2:10 pm
  • See.
    Nothing,
    Vomit.
    0-3.
    Pathetic.

    krueg April 8, 2012, 2:11 pm
  • 5-2 Tigers after two as Raburn scores on a sac fly. At least Cabrara and Fielder don’t get a hit this time round.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 2:11 pm
  • Speedy Gonzalez scores from first on a Papi double. Keep it going, Sox!

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 2:14 pm
  • I keep hearing about how the Rays have no offense.
    They have ZERO trouble scoring runs on us.
    So what does that say.

    krueg April 8, 2012, 2:15 pm
  • Aviles drives in another run. 3 RBI so far today. One reason why they didn’t bring up Iglesias so far.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 2:19 pm
  • Hughes had a decent inning. 2 K’s. No damage.
    Don’t get cold Phil, you’re about to be right back out there in a minute after another pathetic 1-2-3 inning but the fucking anemic Yankee offense.

    krueg April 8, 2012, 2:20 pm
  • Of course right now I’d prefer Lavernway at the plate instead of Shoppach.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 2:20 pm
  • Scherzer hits Shoppach. That’ll do. And now, with the bases loaded, thanks to our genius manager we have Nick Punto coming up.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 2:21 pm
  • Chris Stewart. Awesome.

    krueg April 8, 2012, 2:22 pm
  • Must be nice pbe. Enjoy.

    krueg April 8, 2012, 2:22 pm
  • Okay, sac fly by Punto ties it.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 2:23 pm
  • Would be a good time for Jacoby to get his first hit.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 2:23 pm
  • Balk by Scherzer scores another run. First lead of the season for the Sox.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 2:24 pm
  • Out after out after out after out after out after out after out…

    krueg April 8, 2012, 2:25 pm
  • The problem is I drafted a bunch of Yankees in my first ever fantasy baseball league…
    I fucking jinxed the team.

    krueg April 8, 2012, 2:26 pm
  • 1-2-3 inning.
    I’m tired of this.
    I’m done.
    Enjoy your win SF’s.
    0-3.
    Might not win a game this season.

    krueg April 8, 2012, 2:27 pm
  • Ellsbury hears me and drives in Shoppach. 7-5 Red Sox. Unfortunately that’s also the end of Scherzer for today. Hope all of this will settle down Buchholz.
    And nice as it is, krueg, this team is still not easy to enjoy. But thanks.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 2:29 pm
  • No runs for the Tigers in the bottom of the third. Minor miracle.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 2:43 pm
  • Papi 3 for 3 so far today!

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 2:46 pm
  • Austin Jackson 3 for 3 today, 7 for 11 for the season.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 2:54 pm
  • Three Tiger hits in a row make it 7-6. Not enjoyable at all.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 2:56 pm
  • Cabrara hits into a DP but Jackson scores to tie it.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 2:57 pm
  • FUCK.
    Alright, I’m really turning it off now.
    I’m done.
    This season has the potential to be fucking horrendous. Evidently they think they can just walk out on the field and win.
    Newsflash Yankees. NO ONE FEARS YOU ANYMORE. NO ONE.

    krueg April 8, 2012, 2:57 pm
  • Nick Punto the only Red Sox batter not to have reached base today. A great choice to hit lead-off, right Bobby? He’s also dumb enough to slide head-first into first base.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 3:05 pm
  • Padilla comes in for Buchholz in the fifth and gets the first 1-2-3 inning for the Sox.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 3:11 pm
  • A-Gon first 2012 home run makes it 9-7 Sox.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 3:20 pm
  • Nice job by Padilla so far.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 3:35 pm
  • Sure would be nice if Padilla could work out for the Sox this year like Garcia did for the Yankees last year.

    stuck_working April 8, 2012, 3:39 pm
  • Lead-off double for Punto. Bobby V is a genius indeed!

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 3:53 pm
  • Now Punto, clearly not a genius, gets caught in a run-down at third base. We could have used an extra run.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 4:02 pm
  • I am sort of OK with that happening, since it seems like the kind of play that will lead to Valentine playing Punto less frequently.

    stuck_working April 8, 2012, 4:03 pm
  • Phil Coke throws the first pitch behind Adrian Gonzalez and hits him with the second one. What’s going on here?

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 4:05 pm
  • Probably retaliation for Albers hitting Prince Fielder yesterday.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 4:05 pm
  • Another 1-2-3 for Padilla. He’s really looking good. If he can do the job Aceves did last year, Aceves as closer makes more sense than I thought.
    Let’s see first what Aceves is going to do in the ninth. Unless we don’t see him because we score a bunch in the top of the ninth.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 4:13 pm
  • Padilla pulling a last-year Aceves here…one more inning…ugh, too close.

    Devine April 8, 2012, 4:15 pm
  • Another head-first slide from Punto. This time he makes it anyway and another run scores.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 4:25 pm
  • Squeezed out one more run…to the bottom of the 9th up 10-7.

    Devine April 8, 2012, 4:29 pm
  • Single, grrrrrr.

    Devine April 8, 2012, 4:32 pm
  • And another, no outs, big boooooo. To be fair, I’m only looking at Gameday, can’t say if bad luck or what. But come on!

    Devine April 8, 2012, 4:35 pm
  • Had to feel that one coming, ugh. Tied. Aceves suckfest, you now have to wonder if Padilla shoulda stayed in.

    Devine April 8, 2012, 4:35 pm
  • Aceves gives up a base hit to Jackson, then a freak it to Bosch and then Cabrera hits the first pitch over the fence to tie the game.
    This experiment is very much in jeopardy.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 4:36 pm
  • Yanks lose…remains to be seen whether Sox join them in 0-3 basement as Morales sends us to the 10th and the meat of the Sox order…you know who’s pitching, pbe? Valverde?

    Devine April 8, 2012, 4:46 pm
  • Ah, Benoit.

    Devine April 8, 2012, 4:47 pm
  • Failure.
    No offense per usual.
    No explanation.
    No hope.
    No playoffs.
    I may be scarce this year. This is a fucking embarrassment.

    krueg April 8, 2012, 4:47 pm
  • Sorry D. Didn’t see your question. But you’ve answered it yourself.
    Still Morales for the Sox.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:01 pm
  • Getting swept by the Rays is not an embarrassment. Neither is getting swept by the Tigers. It happened to the Red Sox last year in Texas. You shouldn’t turn that sweep into a 2-10 start, though.
    Of course, the Tigers sweep is not yet a fact. But they have the winning run on first with one out.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:04 pm
  • Should the Red Sox get swept we could say that some individual performances in the series have been quite embarrassing indeed.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:06 pm
  • Morales gets the job done again.
    We’ll need tons of innings from Doubront tomorrow.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:10 pm
  • Benoit still in for the Tigers.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:13 pm
  • First and third, nobody out, Salty pinch hitting for Shoppach. Run(s) please!

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:19 pm
  • Salty strikes out on three pitches.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:20 pm
  • Nick Punto up.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:20 pm
  • And Punto gets it done! If this holds up, he may slide head-first into first all he wants.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:24 pm
  • Punto drove in insurance run that made these innings possible and now has the go-ahead in extras. Dude.

    Devine April 8, 2012, 5:26 pm
  • Jacoby missed a double (or triple) that would have scored two by inches.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:27 pm
  • I know Punto’s been good. But his slides annoy me, he would have had one more hit had he run through first base. And he botched another play by trying to pick up the ball barehanded.
    Melancon to come in in the bottom of the inning.
    Pedroia singles in another run!

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:30 pm
  • A-Gon could put it away right now!

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:31 pm
  • Two-run lead…Melancon?

    Devine April 8, 2012, 5:37 pm
  • But he doesn’t. Strike out.
    Boesch, Cabrara and Fielder up for the Tigers.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:38 pm
  • Yes, Melancon has been warming up and he’s coming in.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:39 pm
  • Boesch grounds out. But now come the scary guys. Bases empty for Cabrera fortunately.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:41 pm
  • Cabrara singles.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:42 pm
  • “In play, no out”
    Curses!

    Devine April 8, 2012, 5:42 pm
  • Fielder drives one the opposite way. The shift does not pay off.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:44 pm
  • Delmon Young the hitter.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:45 pm
  • Another single, boooooo.

    Devine April 8, 2012, 5:45 pm
  • 0-2 on Young.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:45 pm
  • Pitch gets away from Salty. Cabrara moves up.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:47 pm
  • Young sac fly scores Cabrara. Costly wild pitch that.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:47 pm
  • Alex Avila up.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:48 pm
  • 0-1.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:48 pm
  • 1-1.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:49 pm
  • 2-1.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:49 pm
  • 2-2.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:50 pm
  • Foul.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:51 pm
  • Home run. Tigers walk-off.
    Does that suck, or what?

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:52 pm
  • wow

    Devine April 8, 2012, 5:52 pm
  • I…oof.

    stuck_working April 8, 2012, 5:53 pm
  • we suck! all of us!

    Devine April 8, 2012, 5:54 pm
  • It went out by inches.

    pale blue eyes April 8, 2012, 5:55 pm
  • The new American League: Texas, LAAAA, Detroit, Tampa Bay, Toronto, and somewhere down the list – interchangeable – Boston and New York. Whatever. At least Boston has a clearly identified problem rooted in a late Spring injury. The Yanks? They seem intent on making Maddon look brilliant. Particulalry Girardi, whose in-game management this series has been something to really cherish. On top of which, I agreed to carry a colleague’s laptop on my trip and it is already proving to be a royal pain in the butt. Screw everything. Good night.

    IronHorse (YF) April 8, 2012, 7:58 pm
  • “interchangeable – Boston and New York. Whatever.”
    Truer words were not spoken today. Except perhaps “He is risen.”

    I'mBillMcNeal April 8, 2012, 9:05 pm
  • 1966.
    Know what else sucked about 1966? My sister was born that year.

    I'mBillMcNeal April 8, 2012, 9:06 pm
  • Well, point definitely agreed on “uh oh bullpen what now?” IH, but there’s also Buchholz and Beckett eating it something awful (though I don’t expect that to continue in both cases at least). It’s like September never ended! 7-23 baby, wooooooo!

    Devine April 8, 2012, 10:11 pm
  • Whelp, this season sure sucks so far.

    Atheose - SF April 9, 2012, 7:47 am
  • Was happy with the offensive output yesterday, after the previous day when Fister left early and they couldn’t tee off against the Tigers long relievers.
    I’m wondering if Aceves’s heart and mind is into closing which is affecting his focus? Valentine is making comments about Bard closing, which is what Valentine wanted in the first place (with Aceves in the rotation), but was over ruled by the front office. Put a bunch of pressure on Bard for Tuesday’s game.

    BillsBurgSF April 9, 2012, 9:44 am
  • My gosh I am glad I haven’t had time to watch baseball!

    SF April 9, 2012, 9:51 am
  • So Bill, does Valentine hope Bard goes 8 innings of one run ball only to have Aceves blow it again (but have the Sox win in extra innings)?

    ponch - sf April 9, 2012, 12:20 pm
  • Morosi at Fox Sports says Red Sox should worry more than Yanks. I’m not sure either should worry THAT much just yet. Then again, I could be delusional.
    http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/New-York-Yankees-Boston-Red-Sox-AL-East-rough-starts-analysis-040812

    I'mBillMcNeal April 9, 2012, 2:05 pm
  • > I’m not sure either should worry THAT much
    I pick that one. But just as you phrased that comment, it’s a very mediocre endorsement. At least as far as the Yankees go, I think I may be looking at a fine Emmental. Brittle, aged, and full of holes. Fuck, I made a yet another cheesy metaphor.

    attackgerbil April 9, 2012, 2:17 pm

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