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Easter Commiseration: Sox-Tigers, Yanks-Rays Sunday Sob Fest

Boston won the “whose team sucks harder” contest yesterday, failing to plate against that offensive juggernaut what be the Miggy-Prince tandem. But the Yankees also gave up 8 to the Rays and sit just as winless while Joe Maddon looks like some sort of frickin’ genius pushing his second baseman over to stonewall what should have been an up-the-middle single for ARod in the ninth. Joe is shiftier than a plate of jello served by Sofia Vergara on Joba’s trampoline. I’ve got eggs to go hunt, so I’ll be taking the lazy route and putting these gamers together.

Boston starts first, with Clay Buchholz getting the go while the Tigers send Max Scherzer. One half-hour later it’s Phil Hughes against the rather formidable right-hander Jeremy Hellickson, who happens to be pitching on his 25th birthday.

Enjoy your ham or hasenpfeffer or hot buttered battery acid and comment away.

103 replies on “Easter Commiseration: Sox-Tigers, Yanks-Rays Sunday Sob Fest”

Announcers saying that Buchholz is very deliberate. I’d say he’s about to put everybody to sleep, as slow as he’s pitching.
Except the Tigers are not asleep at all.

Yankees go down with a whimper to the mighty Rays pitching again…
Got a walk though.
Woo hoo.
Now let’s watch Hughes get lit up for about 4 in the first inning.

Ibanez boots a liner that should have been an out…
…with 2 outs.
0-1.
Man on 3rd.
Nice job.
Did this team even fucking play in Spring Training??? Because they look like fucking dog shit at this point. This is fucking ridiculous.

4 runs in the first on Friday…
2 runs in the first on Saturday…
1 run in the first on Sunday…
3 of those are also unearned.
Fucking. Pathetic.

What the fuck happened to Tex. Jesus Christ the guy cannot fucking hit anymore.
Swish doubles.
At least we didn’t get no-hit.
No one will hit him in. That would require being “clutch” or even capable of hitting with RISP.
Which we have not been in years it seems.

Hughes had a decent inning. 2 K’s. No damage.
Don’t get cold Phil, you’re about to be right back out there in a minute after another pathetic 1-2-3 inning but the fucking anemic Yankee offense.

Ellsbury hears me and drives in Shoppach. 7-5 Red Sox. Unfortunately that’s also the end of Scherzer for today. Hope all of this will settle down Buchholz.
And nice as it is, krueg, this team is still not easy to enjoy. But thanks.

FUCK.
Alright, I’m really turning it off now.
I’m done.
This season has the potential to be fucking horrendous. Evidently they think they can just walk out on the field and win.
Newsflash Yankees. NO ONE FEARS YOU ANYMORE. NO ONE.

Nick Punto the only Red Sox batter not to have reached base today. A great choice to hit lead-off, right Bobby? He’s also dumb enough to slide head-first into first base.

Another 1-2-3 for Padilla. He’s really looking good. If he can do the job Aceves did last year, Aceves as closer makes more sense than I thought.
Let’s see first what Aceves is going to do in the ninth. Unless we don’t see him because we score a bunch in the top of the ninth.

Aceves gives up a base hit to Jackson, then a freak it to Bosch and then Cabrera hits the first pitch over the fence to tie the game.
This experiment is very much in jeopardy.

Yanks lose…remains to be seen whether Sox join them in 0-3 basement as Morales sends us to the 10th and the meat of the Sox order…you know who’s pitching, pbe? Valverde?

Getting swept by the Rays is not an embarrassment. Neither is getting swept by the Tigers. It happened to the Red Sox last year in Texas. You shouldn’t turn that sweep into a 2-10 start, though.
Of course, the Tigers sweep is not yet a fact. But they have the winning run on first with one out.

I know Punto’s been good. But his slides annoy me, he would have had one more hit had he run through first base. And he botched another play by trying to pick up the ball barehanded.
Melancon to come in in the bottom of the inning.
Pedroia singles in another run!

The new American League: Texas, LAAAA, Detroit, Tampa Bay, Toronto, and somewhere down the list – interchangeable – Boston and New York. Whatever. At least Boston has a clearly identified problem rooted in a late Spring injury. The Yanks? They seem intent on making Maddon look brilliant. Particulalry Girardi, whose in-game management this series has been something to really cherish. On top of which, I agreed to carry a colleague’s laptop on my trip and it is already proving to be a royal pain in the butt. Screw everything. Good night.

Well, point definitely agreed on “uh oh bullpen what now?” IH, but there’s also Buchholz and Beckett eating it something awful (though I don’t expect that to continue in both cases at least). It’s like September never ended! 7-23 baby, wooooooo!

Was happy with the offensive output yesterday, after the previous day when Fister left early and they couldn’t tee off against the Tigers long relievers.
I’m wondering if Aceves’s heart and mind is into closing which is affecting his focus? Valentine is making comments about Bard closing, which is what Valentine wanted in the first place (with Aceves in the rotation), but was over ruled by the front office. Put a bunch of pressure on Bard for Tuesday’s game.

> I’m not sure either should worry THAT much
I pick that one. But just as you phrased that comment, it’s a very mediocre endorsement. At least as far as the Yankees go, I think I may be looking at a fine Emmental. Brittle, aged, and full of holes. Fuck, I made a yet another cheesy metaphor.

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