When I was younger, whenever my family would go out to eat in public, my dad would do this one very embarrassing thing that would make my brothers and me turn beet red and wish to be invisible. He would take out his handkerchief and blow his nose loudly into it. The sound was tremendous. My brothers and I imagined the whole restaurant was in shock. Of course, we never checked to see if anybody was staring at us as we slumped down in our chairs. We just assumed everyone thought we were monsters.
But now that I'm older I love it. When I meet up with my parents in a public place, I relish the show. My dad doesn't care. Never has. Yeah, actually people are watching. Some of them are grossed out. You know what?! F*ck it. This is my old man. It's one of the things he does. Whereas before, I would tense up until my whole body felt like a giant ache, I now shake my head up and down approvingly. Good stuff, pops! Make sure the guy with the hearing aid over there hears it as well!
So let's embrace embarrassing situations. For instance, the Yanks' play against the NL. You know what would be sweet?! If they were shut out again! You think you can do it, guys? Nose blow time.
60 replies on “Embrace the Embarrassment: Yanks-Braves Gamer II”
Nice post Nick…
We can DEFINITELY get shutout again…but can the Braves score in double digits too??? I think they can…
The real subplot to this game, as far as I’m concerned, is the battle between Joba’s tendency to throw a million pitches and Frenchy’s desire to live up to the Greg Maddux ideal of ’27 pitches, 27 outs.’
Nick – Don’t you teach 5th graders? Perhaps your opinion about what gross really is has changed.
Blacked out on ESPN, blacked out on YES…get the idiot Braves announcers again. Not in HD as well.
I hate memphis.
Did hear on the pregame that the choke-mees had a closed door meeting after last nights debacle, so everything should be cool now.
Not.
Chip Carey looks like Rocky Dennis’ love child…douche.
…has an eight-head with a pampadore??? Dude, it’s 2009 bro…the King is dead. I can drive you over to his grave.
RBF, true. I’ve been the eye of the Gross storm. I think I’m numb to it all now.
1 pitch, 1 out…game.
3 pitches…2 outs.
The Yanks are demonstrating the fact that Francouer can field routine lazy fly balls. Good work!
9 pitches…3 outs.
1-2-3. Awesome.
fire girardi.
not let’s see how many runs joba gets tagged for in the 1st…
i say 3 runs and about 26 pitches…
Agenda for the closed door meeting:
I. How are things going?
II. Jon and Kate split. How are you taking it?
III. Next Steps.
another AB…another out for choke-rod.
Agenda for the closed door meeting:
I. round of laughs for all the money they make
II. plans to go out on peachtree
III. exchange names and numbers of strippers to mount
Oh wait, that was just choke-rod…
Another out…
So let me get this straight, they can only hit pitchers they have seen before??? I don’t understand that. They study film and figure out trends and that’s the only way they can hit? How f-cking sad is that????
Combine that with swinging for the fences EVERY SINGLE AB and you have the recipe for losing. Great job boys…so proud of you.
This team lays down easier than Paris Hilton…
Oh, and by the way, nice job on getting McClouth…he really sucks in CF, can’t hold a candle to melky or gardner…HAHAHAHAHAHA
fire cashman.
1-2-3-4-5-6 up, 1-2-3-4-5-6 down…just fucking forfeit the season and save us all the time. Wish I could get my money back for the baseball package…they should refund all of us.
Hey Krueg, just came in here to say that when you’re feeling down, keep things in perspective. Nick Green almost got killed by a broken bat just now, and I’m only slightly exaggerating.
So yeah, the Yanks may be sucking but at least their lives aren’t in danger!
Are you serious Ath???? It’s going to happen eventually I think…
CHOKE-ROD CAUGHT A POP FLY IN FOUL GROUND!!!! Best play the loser has made in weeks…as-hole.
Yeah, no joke. Both the ball and the bat were flying at him; he was going for the ball, then the bat hit the ground in front of him and flew up at his face/neck. He blocked it with his hand, but holy crap it was close.
That is brutal…they have to do something about the bats. I think they should probably put up netting too like in hockey. I’m surprised more people aren’t smacked in the melon by foul balls…
I’m running out of insults for this team…
9 up, 9 down. Looks like that closed door meeting really helped. not.
fire girardi. fire cashman. gut the roster. f-ck them all.
“Joba Chamberlain lines out sharply, pitcher Kenshin Kawakami to shortstop Yunel Escobar to first baseman Casey Kotchman.”
What the f*ck happened there?
Wow, pinch hitter for the pitcher already? So much for the perfect game.
Joba smacked a liner off of that dudes neck…to the SS, to 1st…out.
double. game over.
Wow, how long has it been since the Yanks scored?
Wow, didn’t even notice the perfect game..
But ya, he totally got nailed.
second time through the order…let’s get no hit you f-cking losers!!!
Um…2003 Lar???
At least JD is now in the game, maybe he’ll get something started..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…good one Lar!!!
12 up, 12 down…I give up. F-ck this. I’m watching a movie.
I’m going to watch Arrested Development instead. Be back in a few episodes..
Brett Gardner breaks up the perfect game, but then promptly gets picked off first. No-no still intact.
Cervelli with a HR. Too bad Gardner was picked off.
Just to correct the record, Gardner was not picked off – replay showed the call was just plain wrong. Yankee bats starting to come alive after going 8 innins without a hit and 14 without a run…
By the way, I love Cervelli – and so apparently do his teammates, esp. the pitching staff. Kid was psycho-pumped at that hit.
If Tex walks here it will be R-Rod with bases loaded – prepare for massive let-down…
And here we go…A-Rod up – preparing to dip into sub-.200 BA territory, just as the team is starting to show life for the first time in more than a week, with the bases loaded. Please A-Rod…prove me wrong…
ARod finally came through, but you know, you give the guy 50 ABs with the bases loaded, some of them will go thorugh..
0-2. Fastballs right down the pipe…
Come on Lar – the guy hit a 2-RBI go-ahead single after being ice-cold forever. Let’s at least not dump on him at this moment…
Still bitter.. I know I’m being unfair, but it’ll take more than this (in general, not just ARod) to get me excited again, for a little bit..
I know, I know…I share the pain. I’m heartened by Joba’s performance and the novel idea the Yankees have come upon of round the bases all the way until you CROSS home plate. But yeah, things are certainly generally sucky right now.
Swisher is seriously the “ARod” this year, maybe. Hitting HRs when they’re up a bit..
Joba gave the Yanks a good chance to win, and now the Yanks will have to try to hold on.
Back to back singles from Damon and Teixiera, both moving up after an error is a good start for some padding..
Bats rumbling again…another chance for A-Rod…And they IBB him!!! Shocker.
They intentionally walked ARod. I’m actually surprised by this one.
Bases loaded, nobody out and here’s Cano.
Bumble-f+*k at 1B and Cano avoids the DB and a run scores.
Ya, Yanks got helped out that time, I think. 6-3.
Can someone check Krueg’s bedroom to make sure he didn’t make good on his threats of Yankee-performance-induced self-mutilation?
Meanwhile, Yanks get another run on a groundout.
If they called him out, they might not have scored, and would’ve not scored again despite bases loaded. Still, as it turns out and 6-3.
Mo for the 4-out save after 8 days of inaction. Another Girardi screw-up. He should never go 8 days without work even if there are not games to save.
I kind of wanted Mo to swat one out. Just to add a little bit to his legend, haha..
Apparently Mo disagrees with IH and err.. literally strikes out everybody he saw..
Mo went 8 days without action? Holy crap Girardi.
Holy crap, Mo got to bat last night? I just saw the replay of Melky preparing him beforehand. That was hilarious.
He had good form too! Looked like a Jeter swing.
I’m still alive…watched the rest of the game, just didn’t have the energy to post anymore last night.
Well, we won a game. Color me unimpressed. It’s about time. Let’s see what happens tonight.
Choke-rod finally got a hit…now he’s 2 for his last 1,309,406.