Excuses, Excuses: Why the Sox Will Lose This Weekend

Yes, we love our Sox.  And yes, we feel damn good about our team.  But we’re still reeling a little from last August’s mauling, and we can’t help but think the undermanned Yankees’ squad is ready for battle, their vaunted offense waiting to pounce, like in today’s ferocious comeback.  We’ve already envisioned the weekend in both good and bad fashions, and should the Sox go down to the Yankees we won’t be surprised.  Herewith are the likely reasons:

  1. Holy crap! A-Rod’s therapy actually taking
  2. Francona forgets Papelbon back as closer, accidentally brings Pineiro in to nail down rubber game
  3. Matsuzaka unable to pitch after spraining right wrist during "Friday Movie Night" with pal Hideki Matsui
  4. David Ortiz put on the DL after altercation with still-irate Wally
  5. Curt Schilling ejected after refusing umpire’s order to stop live-blogging from mound
  6. "Pizza Night" promotion at Fenway goes horribly awry, pepperoni-covered field causes Sox to forfeit
  7. One word: Blistahs
  8. Yankees re-animate dead star Lefty Gomez, Sox’ bats unable to solve unfamiliar hurler
  9. Did we mention A-Rod’s therapy?
  10. No balls hit towards Derek Jeter
27 comments… add one
  • “…we’re still reeling a little from last August’s mauling…”
    Are we? Last season is last season, bro. The ONLY thing I’m concerned about is that Pap pitched two days in a row and won’t be used if the situation arises tomorrow.
    If anyone should be reeling about anything, its yankerfans seeing the picthing matchups for the next three days.

    Nate=Soxfan April 20, 2007, 12:10 am
  • heh.

    Tyrel SF April 20, 2007, 1:31 am
  • I thought Paul was going to write this to try to continue his 2/2 streak! ;)

    Lar April 20, 2007, 1:33 am
  • I’M GOING!!!!
    Did I mention I’m going?
    I’ll take pictures for the fantasy page for everyone. I scored some sweet-tickets for tonight on the Right Field Roof box section! Anyhow, sorry I won’t be around for the game thread…. not really:)

    Brad April 20, 2007, 7:19 am
  • One thing I would like to see happen, but it’s doubtful, lol. Bruney is pitching to Varitek, he hits him, nothing crazy like career threatening, just maybe in the a** or thigh. Alex runs in from 3rd base while Varitek is all fired up and says “We don’t throw at .189 hitters” (See 2004 for an explaination)

    Triskaidekaphobia April 20, 2007, 8:30 am
  • Enjoy the game Brad. And be sure to send along a picture or two here as well.

    YF April 20, 2007, 9:09 am
  • Well, I did contribute, Lar, so I’ll definitely be taking the credit if the Sox win ;-). SF gets the blame if they actually lose.

    Paul SF April 20, 2007, 9:36 am
  • I love number 10.

    David Pinto April 20, 2007, 9:55 am
  • yankeemonkey April 20, 2007, 10:25 am
  • trisk, that’s hilarious!! can he also be wearing a catcher’s mask and not take it off when acting like a tough guy?

    m.g. yanks fan April 20, 2007, 10:25 am
  • Here’s what I don’t understand about the game today – when a hitter is as hot as GayRod, or Papi, how do these guys not get buzzed at least once a game? The reason GayRod is in the zone right now is because nobody will throw him inside. He is able to lean out over the plate and get nice and comfy. I would love to see Schilling come up and in to Mr. Lipstick with the first pitch. It worked in 2004 when Matsui was smoking everything in sight in the playoffs. Petey knocks him on his ass, and he is no longer comfortable in the box.
    Ask any player from yesteryear and they will tell you that if you were on a tear like Mr. Sissy Slap, your ass would be knocked down until you were no longer on that tear.
    Jus sayin.

    jp - SF April 20, 2007, 10:43 am
  • Such a good point hidden in all that childish name calling, what a shame. For future reference the only acceptable name for Alex on this site is Slappy McBluelips, I think thats what they call him. Call him what you’d like he’s on fiii-yaaa.

    Triskaidekaphobia April 20, 2007, 10:51 am
  • jp, very classy and original with the gay-rod comment.

    m.g. yanks fan April 20, 2007, 10:54 am
  • I do think the loss of the inside game/HBP is a shame. I think umps are too quick to issue warnings and MLB too quick to issue suspensions for what is really an important part of a pitcher’s game. The media don’t help by labeling anyone who throws inside with regularity a “headhunter.”

    Paul SF April 20, 2007, 10:55 am
  • Here’s where your point can be proved invalid in today’s game.
    Schilling buzzs Alex up and in, misses him. Umpire warns him or both teams. He can’t come back inside again or he’ll get the heeve. So Alex has no reason not to dig in and hit like nothing happened. While I despise Schilling, he is a smart guy that knows his team is MUCH better off with him on the field. That old school Bob Gibson mentality isn’t applicable in todays game which is controlled by the umpires.

    Triskaidekaphobia April 20, 2007, 10:58 am
  • Sorry for the overlap Paul.

    Triskaidekaphobia April 20, 2007, 10:59 am
  • “I don’t give a damn that you’re 31-years-old or 32-years-old, or a diva, or that your agent is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn’t care about what you do next season… You’ve been getting a lot of hits but the Sox are going to straighten your ass out.” — 4.20.07, An irate Alec Baldwin to Alex Rodriguez
    Is this guy for real???

    Triskaidekaphobia April 20, 2007, 11:45 am
  • The above quote is a farcical representation of what Alec Baldwin might say to A(pril)-Rod in light of his publicized outburst to his daughter, courtesy of BDD.
    (you forgot to click the link, Trisk)
    Real or imagined, I am all for it.

    Nate=Soxfan April 20, 2007, 11:53 am
  • I clicked on the link, it was about his daughter…I was like this can’t be real….That’s why I questioned it…Thanks for that, I was about to blow my top!

    Triskaidekaphobia April 20, 2007, 11:57 am
  • “Schilling buzzs Alex up and in, misses him.”
    What if he doesn’t miss, or only misses because Slappy McWhatever takes a dive? I would think it’s a pretty effective way to get a guy out of the zone. But then again, I don’t know how many times I’ve seen Manny knocked down only to see him get back up and hit the thing 425 feet.
    I miss Pedro. That guy wore the “headhunter” label like a badge of honor. Though I can’t recall him actually throwing at someone’s head. He’d usually hit em in the hands or the ass.

    Tyrel SF April 20, 2007, 12:01 pm
  • Regardless of hit or miss, a warning would be issued and elimnating the chance of it happening again. It’s the umpires game now.

    Triskaidekaphobia April 20, 2007, 12:04 pm
  • Sure is; that Santana-Beckett game was absurd. I’m happy with the outcome, but I do think Santana was at more of a disadvantage losing the inner half then Beckett was. Not Josh’s fault, since it clearly wasn’t a purpose pitch–even most Angels fans agreed that Vlad just didn’t get out of the way in time on a pitch Beckett lost control of–but it still kind of spoiled the game.

    desturbd1 April 20, 2007, 12:07 pm
  • Tyrel – he might not try to throw at someone’s head, but he came pretty close in 2003 to the Karim Garcia, which started the whole thing with Zimmer. It actually hit him in the upper back, and very close.
    Though my memory might be wrong. Maybe I’ll look it up on YouTube.

    Lar April 20, 2007, 12:31 pm
  • Forgot about that one Lar, I think you’re right. I was thinking back to “vintage” Pedro, where he seemed to regularly buzz guys on the hands or drill them in the ass.

    Tyrel SF April 20, 2007, 12:54 pm
  • “Who is Karim Garcia?”

    Steve April 20, 2007, 1:11 pm
  • Ok, sorry for all the name calling…Slappy McBluelips it is. My bad.
    I too have seen Manny get knocked down only to hit the next pitch into the stratosphere…but that’s the difference between Manny and Smacky…Manny genuinely doesn’t remember the pitch before and really doesn’t care if you like him or not.
    Personally, I hate all of this “look at me” behavior by Slappy. 10 HRs in 14 games. Ooh, LOOK AT ME!!! Whatever. :)

    jp - SF April 20, 2007, 3:45 pm
  • 3. “Matsuzaka unable to pitch after spraining right wrist during ‘Friday Movie Night’ with pal Hideki Matsui.”
    Come on now, this is ridiculous.
    I think Matsuzaka is smart enough to use his left hand and not his pitching hand in this situation. ;)

    Devil Ray's Fan April 20, 2007, 6:59 pm

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