Get Away From My Locker!

They’re playing ball again. Finally. And tomorrow it’s Sox vs. Yanks. We hope you’ve been paying attention during this offseason. Here’s a little quiz to see just how well you’ve been keeping up:

Pete Rose is now a member of this Hall of Fame:
A: Baseball
B: WWF
C: PEN Literary Writers Guild
D: Caesar’s Palace

Which of the following have been under contract to play third for the Yankees:
A: Erick Almonte
B: Aaron Boone
C: Miguel Cairo
D: Drew Henson
E: Tyler Houston
F: Alex Rodriguez
G: Enrique Wilson
H: All of the above

Players testing positive for steroids twice in 2004 will be:
A: Suspended for 15 days
B: Suspended for the season
C: Suspended indefinitely
D: Permanently banned
E: Forced to read Jose Canseco’s book proposal

Which of the following is not a 2004 MLB venue:
A: Petco Park
B: Balco Park
C: Citizens Bank Ballpark

According to Gene Orza, steroids are no worse than:
A: Cigarettes
B: Crack cocaine
C: Vente lattes from Starbucks
D: Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk

Darryl Strawberry recently quit the Yankees to:
A: Return to the field as a player
B: Counsel Martha Stewart on life in the Big House
C: Spread the Gospel

Match the player to his thought:
A: Babe Ruth may have used steroids
B: Babe Ruth would have hit about .265 if he played today
*
1: Curt Schilling
2: Jeff Kent

Manny Ramirez’s new website will be called:
A: MR.com
B: Manny!.com
C: Dogginit.com
D: Showboater.com

Brewers President Ulice Payne Jr. resigned because:
A: The Brewers have had 11 consecutive losing seasons
B: The team is under investigation for its funding of Miller Park
C: He was angry about the Selig family’s payments to itself
D: He was exasperated by the team’s paltry $30 million payroll
E: Persistent heartburn from “brats”

QuesTec’s error rate is:
A: 0 percent–it’s perfect!
B: 1 percent–not bad!
C: 3 percent–about the same as a professional umpire’s

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