Laugh. Cry. Retch.

The good from Gordon Edes' interview with Jonathan Papelbon:

"I got a copy of it,'' he said, referring to footage of the horrific ninth inning in which the Los Angeles Angels rallied from a two-run deficit and eliminated the Boston Red Sox in their AL Division Series, obliterating Papelbon's streak of never having allowed a run in the postseason in the process.

"I get it in my weight room at home and pop it in, use it as motivation. … Every time I'm in the gym struggling, feeling like [expletive], I look up at the TV, and it gives me a kick.

"It's something I really had a lot of pride in and cherished, my scoreless postseason run," which hit 26 innings, a major league record. "Obviously, it was disappointing. Any human being who says it was no big deal is full of B.S."

The bad:

Papelbon's wife, Ashley, is pregnant with the couple's second child, a brother for toddler daughter Parker. The child is due in April.

"Got a name picked out,'' Papelbon says. "Gunner Roberts. The significance? Nothing, man. Just a badass name, so we went with it.''

The ugly:

The TV in his house is always turned to Nick Jr., the Disney Channel or Sprout, he says, so he hasn't been keeping track of the Red Sox's offseason moves.


"I had no idea we got [John] Lackey until [trainer Mike] Reinold came down to see me, just a few days ago,'' he said. "I swear to you. I don't know anything about the ballclub, but I know the words to the 'Mickey Mouse Clubhouse' song.''


Adrian Beltre deal? He hadn't heard. Casey Kotchman about to be traded to the Mariners? Nope. Mike Cameron? "Cameron, Mike Cameron?'' he said. "We got him? I swear to you, I didn't know.''

Oh, and he wants a lot of money. But we already knew that.

28 comments… add one

  • I can’t think of a more annoying, dumbfuck player in baseball. I don’t know how you root for him.

    AndrewYF January 7, 2010, 3:14 pm
  • Andrew, he’s part of the team we root for. I guess you have to take the dumbfucks along with the nice guys. Has there never be a Yankee you disliked?

    pale blue eyes January 7, 2010, 3:40 pm
  • Does Cody Ransom or Tony Womack count? Jose Veras, too.
    Okay, all those guys sucked, that’s why I didn’t like them. But I can’t for the life of me think of a Yankee – or any player, really – as outspokenly dumb as Papelbon. He’s in his own stratosphere.

    AndrewYF January 7, 2010, 3:43 pm
  • :dumbfuck:
    That’s an injection of an invective into a pile-on. But trying to go along with the mode from a Yankees fan’s perspective:
    ARod
    Reggie
    Karim Garcia
    Canseco
    Billy Martin *armlocked* with Ed Whitson
    c’mon, too easy.

    attackgerbil January 7, 2010, 4:06 pm
  • Here’s another quote:
    Seven big league closers have contracts for $10 million or more. It’s reasonable to expect that Papelbon will join them.
    “Heck yeah, as far as what me and my brain are thinking, but I haven’t even sat down with my agents yet. We don’t even have a number in place. There haven’t been any discussions between me and the Red Sox and my agents at all.”
    If he gets $10 Million this year I can only imagine what he gets next year or long term.
    I call BS on him not knowing the Red Sox signed those players. Please, I know who my competition in my Fantasy Baseball league signed up to the minute and I am not getting paid to do that. It’s his whole whacky and crazy act…He makes me ill and I hope that he never comes to the Yankees, as he has said he wouldn’t mind doing. Not because he isn’t talented, because God knows he’s VERY good at what he does.
    Yankees that made me ill, to be fair:
    Shelley Duncan
    Jason Giambi
    Randy Johnson
    Chad Curtis
    Chuck Knoblauch
    Jose Veras
    Pudge
    Shelley Duncan
    Shelley Duncan
    See, it’s not just Red Sox.

    John - YF January 7, 2010, 4:08 pm
  • I FORGOT Canseco, DAMN! Also, Carl Pavano although not right away.

    John - YF January 7, 2010, 4:09 pm
  • oops.. forgot Unit. Thanks John.

    attackgerbil January 7, 2010, 4:09 pm
  • I do like that Papelbon spoke of himself and his brain as separate entities.

    AndrewYF January 7, 2010, 4:13 pm
  • Pavano doesn’t count. He’s his own thing, standing outside baseball, the universe, everything.

    attackgerbil January 7, 2010, 4:13 pm
  • During the WBC last year I was rooting for Youk and Pedroia, both seem like likable decent guys you’d want to root for if forced to and I was. Youk less so than Pedroia, but he was playing for the US, so I cheered him on when necessary. I am being honest when I say this: I wouldn’t root for Papelbon if he possessed the last roll of toilet paper in the WORLD and I just had dinner at Taco Bell. Classy, I know…

    John - YF January 7, 2010, 4:21 pm
  • I am not old enough AG to have seen him with the Yankees, well I was a baby but…I don’t like Reggie Jackson. He too makes me ill. I see him interviewed during the playoffs, after games, etc…like he is gatekeeper for all that is holy and good in Yankeeland. You may have been good, that’s fantastic, but please don’t make it seem like you are now a likable guy and Yankee standard.

    John - YF January 7, 2010, 4:24 pm
  • The most important thing to remember here is the first word of the title to the post.

    attackgerbil January 7, 2010, 5:09 pm
  • At least Papelbon is a moron. Schilling is a fuckface. And Valverde hasn’t signed yet. I think the days of big contracts to closers (besides DHs) is over.
    In honor of the Unit, here’s a great piece by Pat Jordan from 2002 contrasting Schilling and Unit:
    http://www.nytimes.com/2002/09/29/magazine/the-odd-couple.html?pagewanted=all
    Reading that, Unit comes away as simply misunderstood. I mean, I’ve known tall people who were uncomfortable in their own skin. But someone 6’10″? I can’t imagine the abuse and the interviews with a short player just for the circus act? I know the media doesn’t often dig deep to understand their subjects, but has there ever been a more dominant pitcher more disliked simply for being irascible? And I say that as a guy who never liked the public Unit. But you have to appreciate what he did in the game and how hard he worked to get there.

    Jeff January 7, 2010, 7:15 pm
  • The Public Unit. Sounds like a raunchy porn flick. I wonder if Papelbon owns it?

    AndrewYF January 7, 2010, 7:17 pm
  • I don’t particulary care how wacky Papelbon acts off the mound, so long as he doesn’t do anything illegal or do something genuinely stupid like needlessly injuring himself:
    http://www.buckeyeplanet.com/forum/professional-baseball/4554-kevin-brown-breaks-hand-punching-wall.html
    Fact is that most pro athletes are just not people one wants to hang with, though we go to great lengths to project honorable and likeable personalities on them.

    Hudson January 7, 2010, 11:58 pm
  • Couldn’t stand Kyle Farnsworth. Soriano pissed me off because he never learned from his mistakes (lay off the ******* curveball outside).

    DustyDrB - YF January 8, 2010, 1:12 am
  • On the other hand, I still feel bad that Mussina wasn’t on this championship team. It’s gonna piss me off if the writers choose not to vote for him based on his never having a ring.

    DustyDrB - YF January 8, 2010, 1:15 am
  • Is it possible for Yankee fans to describe players they don’t like (who, coincidentally I’m sure, have also played key roles for championship Red Sox teams) without using the F word? I’m just curious because as much as I have disliked various players, Yankees or not, over the years, I don’t think I have developed such a high level of antagonism(/obsession?) to bother coming up with such creative obscenity-laden insults.

    Paul SF January 8, 2010, 8:35 am
  • “Is it possible for Yankee fans to describe players they don’t like (who, coincidentally I’m sure, have also played key roles for championship Red Sox teams) without using the F word?”
    Yes all of the Sox Fans out there always use the queen’s english to describe the yankees they hate. Only yankees fans use the F word when talking about the other team’s players. For example, no sox fan has ever said Bucky “F’n” Dent.
    I hate comments like this when the lump entire fanbases into single categories and character types. Ignorant of the fact that elements of any team’s fanbase can act in the same manner. You should be above this Paul.

    sam-YF January 8, 2010, 9:12 am
  • So, Sam, your answer to the question is yes?
    I’m well aware not all Yankee fans act like this — we had several respond to this post in the light-hearted spirit in which it was intended. And I’m also well aware that you are well aware that I’m well aware of this. Maybe I should have said “some Yankee fans,” as I usually do, but I figured my point would be clear. And that point is: Is it truly necessary for Yankee fans to describe players this way? Obviously, it is not. Not only is it unnecessary, it’s offensive and reflects poorly on the fanbase as a whole.
    And, while I do not condone Red Sox fans who talk similarly about Yankee players (though I’ve never seen a YFSF regular do it, never mind two of them in one post referencing two different players), you surely are aware that your example is incredibly poor. The difference between saying “Bucky f-ing Dent” and calling a player a “dumbf*ck” or a “f*ckface” is pretty apparent.

    Paul SF January 8, 2010, 9:29 am
  • Well Paul to me you comment seems just plain incendiary and equally as offensive as any in which a YF used the F-word to describe a Sox player. If you read the language you used, you should be able to understand where Im coming from.
    For the record, over the years Ive seen regulars here use curses and the like to describe yankee players. I have no inclination to go search through the archives to find such an example as I am on vacation right now and only enjoy wasting my time do such pointless things while Im at work!

    sam-YF January 8, 2010, 9:44 am
  • i liked the post paul…thought it was funny…a departure from the stat-laden snoozefests…and evidence that even you can poke fun at your own…i agree that profanity is never necessary when pointing out the obvious…your post is the best evidence of that…i got the point without you having to use a single f-word…
    as for the generalization about yankee fans, i knew you didn’t mean all of us, but i lost count of how many times sf has hammered me for the same offense: that is, not using a qualifier like “most”, “some”, “many”, etc…i don’t get a pass, so neither do you…by the way, i was just messing with you, i do enjoy the stat snoozefests, and find them informative, well, with maybe one exception: the projections…seriously projections are pointless, unless you’re nostradamus….

    dc January 8, 2010, 9:48 am
  • Sorry, I guess I should have said he was a dumbass. How that’s qualitatively different in any way, I have no idea.

    AndrewYF January 8, 2010, 11:24 am
  • It has nothing to do with being a Yankee fan talking about Sox, or a Sox fan talking about Yankees, generalizations like this are unfortunate if they are implied to be unilateral – let’s do our best to refrain from the name-calling of players in the manner it originally occurred above, specifically the attack on Schilling that came out of nowhere.
    As for calling Papelbon a “dumbass”, for some reason I don’t find that too offensive, and in this case it seems right on topic!
    And “Bucky f-ing Dent” is utterly different, it’s a now-historical exclamation to express shock, not a personal insult, it was coined by Don Zimmer and has become part of the rivalry’s lexicon. It has nothing to do with namecalling.

    SF January 8, 2010, 11:36 am
  • i suspect at least part of paul’s issue with your comment was that he realizes that pap is his guy, and was annoyed with you for reminding him of it…talent aside, it’s got to be hard to keep hearing that your rival’s closer is a swell guy, while your closer is, well, papelbon…like the other guys reminded me, i’ve had to root for some clunkers along the line…it’s all good

    dc January 8, 2010, 11:38 am
  • I’ve pretty much hated all the Yankees at some point and have called them WAY worse things that dumbf-ck… ;)

    krueg January 8, 2010, 12:13 pm
  • Well, I think we’ve learned to just make an exception for you, kreug, you’re a unique case. I don’t want to see you slacking in 2010 though!

    AndrewYF January 8, 2010, 12:55 pm
  • I was going to say that krueg emotionally abused many more yanks than sox this past year but he beat me to it.
    I reserve the right to call Brett Myers any interesting curse compound word. D*ckbag always makes me chuckle. When I was in publishing my boss and I had an ongoing curse compound battle which lasted several months. Say it was a particularly quiet day. One of us would yell out “Douchesac!”. Then we’d judge its merit as a curse combo word.
    Those were during the post-golden days of publishing. Everything had happened. Nothing seemed possible.

    Nick-YF January 8, 2010, 2:33 pm

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