We did it last year, and it’s time, once again, for the official YFSF Fantasy Camp Roundup. This year, the Red Sox invite a contingent of
suckers disposable-income-rich fans to fungo it up with the likes of Shag Crawford, Soup Campbell, and, if you can stand next to him for 5 seconds without wanting to sucker punch the guy (while simultaneously yelling "HOW’S THAT FOR A PALMBALL, YOU A**HOLE?!"), the one and only Bob Stanley. The best moment of the camp will most likely be the banquet on February 10th, when after enduring a 26-error three inning affair ended on a two-base gaffe by a squib off the bat of Johnny Pesky (right through the wickets of Mahty from Chicopee, anchored where he can do the least damage in left field), a very buzzed Steve Lyons gets up to make a toast, fumbles the Hagafen, and then drops his pants right up there on the dais, yelling "fire this, Fox, fire this!!!". At that point, we envision Lyons getting tossed out of the joint by the night’s special guest, former umpire Rich Garcia.
The Yankees, on the other hand, charge the higher price ($4995 vs. the Sox’ $3795) and won’t specify a single player who might attend. For the steeper cost you get a fashionable set of a "belt and socks" and the privilege of participating in a Kangaroo Court (really, what’s more fun than spending almost 5 large to be berated by a washed-up ex-backup catcher and then being made to pay $50 for the right to shovel a load of scrambled eggs and bacon onto Shane Rawley’s buffet plate the morning after taking a fungo hit by Lee Mazzilli off the cup?).
Once again, we’ll pass. Camp is for kids.