Operation Enduring Cronyism, Or How I Stopped Worrying About Baseball And Learned To Love The Pigskin

Jerry Crasnick wrote a piece on ESPN discussing who might replace Bud Selig once he steps down as baseball commissioner when his contract expires.  Unfortunately, his contract lasts until 2009.  More unfortunately, names that have surfaced as potential replacements are Dubya and Mitchell.  Most unfortunately, no one on his list of potential replacements are named Ripken, Gwynn, Trammell, Gammons, Costas, or gerbil.

Okay, let’s just assume the attackgerbil for commish write-in campaign falls short, which is somewhat likely due to the fact I gave up on the idea the moment I realized I’d have to fork over 20 bucks at Kinkos to make copies of the petition that I was too lazy to write to begin with.  Instead, YOU get hired as the head honcho of the Greatest Game Ever Invented In The History Of The World.  After you do your happy dance, what’s the first change you would make to the game?.

If you don’t want to talk about that, consider this a free-form thread to discuss all things pigskin as Rex and Da Bears try to defrock America’s Sweetheart Saints at 3:00 Eastern, to be followed at 6:30 by the game that in my mind is THE GAME of the season: Patriots and Colts under the RCA Dome in Indianapolis.

62 comments… add one
  • First, I’d eliminate Interleague play.

    Hudson January 21, 2007, 12:46 pm
  • I’d add a shortfielder.

    SF January 21, 2007, 1:14 pm
  • I would see to it that every game of every team is broadcast.

    attackgerbil January 21, 2007, 1:29 pm
  • Absolutely, eliminate interleague play and end the blackout restrictions where possible. And I know YF and SF hate it, but I would change the record books to reflect (and redact) those implicated in the steroid era. I would also contract the leagues, probably by removing Florida and Tampa Bay. Either that or move them to places that actually care about baseball and want a team — like San Antonio, Charlotte or Portland.

    Paul SF January 21, 2007, 2:02 pm
  • Interleague goes.
    Revenue sharing is becomes a franchise fee based upon the population and median income of a team’s local market, with the value redistributed evenly among teams (thus, New York and Boston pay in and smaller communities get paid). Teams would also be rewarded for re-signing homegrown players, though not so much as to make it worthwhile to re-sign bad ones.

    Jay Seaver January 21, 2007, 2:18 pm
  • I would change the revenue-sharing system to allow the big-market teams greater flexibility to be more creative with their product and make the small-market teams less-dependent on the big-market revenue (right now, teams like Tampa Bay are rewarded for doing nothing because doing fan-friendly events that might increase revenue might actually cost the team more money). I’d also institute some system where the small-market teams must show they are actually improving their teams with the money.

    Paul SF January 21, 2007, 2:31 pm
  • Eliminate the DH.
    Baseball’s economic health seems to parallel that of the US prior to Jan. 2001, when a certain moron took over.My second move would be to institute a competency exam for future commissioner candidates. This would assure that Dubya wouldn’t have an opportunity to do to baseball what he’s done to America.

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 3:23 pm
  • I’d let the Yankees grow facial hair, superceding the Boss’ stupid automatonish rule with a more hippieish, free-thinking one.
    I’d also encourage more doubleheaders, and more off days. I’d require that every team (except those who play outside in brutal climes) start every single Saturday and Sunday game by 3pm at the latest – any team that starts a June Saturday game at 730pm would be fined seven figures. And I’d mandate that one million tickets be purchased by MLB and distributed to elementary schools, free of charge. Gotta get those youngsters interested, and day games and cheap seats are the best way to do it.

    SF January 21, 2007, 3:25 pm
  • Eliminate interleague play, definitely. End blackouts outside of a certain radius of the stadium…I read somewhere that people 300 miles away were blacked out. That’s ridiculous.
    I would also add instant replays for foul balls/homeruns only. I hate it when a botched homerun call (rare though as they are) breaks the game.
    I would also institute a rule that involves some algorithm with total profit and amount you get in revenue sharing as variables. That would ensure owners like Loria don’t treat the team like their personal money tree, unless they really are saving up for a new stadium, which MLB would help out any team that has a stupid multi-purpose stadium.

    Andrew January 21, 2007, 4:33 pm
  • “I would change the record books to reflect (and redact) those implicated in the steroid era.”
    But you would need proof, Paul. How on earth would you get it?

    Anonymous January 21, 2007, 4:39 pm
  • that was me – damn this handheld!

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 4:40 pm
  • The NFC is the NFL’s National League. These teams are highly unimpressive. Rex Grossman could overthrow Shaquille O’Neal from 8 feet away.

    SF January 21, 2007, 4:44 pm
  • Holy Christ! Reggie Bush! Speed Demon!

    Whatever January 21, 2007, 4:56 pm
  • > every single Saturday and Sunday game by 3pm at the latest
    Abso-fricking-great-idea-lutely.
    Same thing with the playoffs/series. No more of those 10pm eastern start times.

    attackgerbil January 21, 2007, 5:11 pm
  • If I’m not mistaken, Sunday games have to start no later than 4, with one exception, because of espn’s sunday night bb broadcast rights.

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 5:32 pm
  • More Saturday afternoon games. I can’t make it from Schenectady to Boston in time for a Sunday afternoon game, and Saturday night games make for a pretty rough Sunday morning.

    pastorsteve January 21, 2007, 7:15 pm
  • groundhog day. The same old story. Is anyone really surprised by what’s happening in Indy right now?

    Nick-YF January 21, 2007, 8:06 pm
  • Lots of time left, Nick. The Colts just moved down the field with ease, and they get the ball back after the half – it could be a one-score game very quickly .

    SF January 21, 2007, 8:18 pm
  • By the way, I’m not even trying to jinx the Pats. I don’t have a rooting interest either way. In fact, I’m probably partial to the Pats because of the Wesleyan connection (who knew that good ol’ Wes would be the breeding ground for a football revolution?!). But it’s bizarre how much this resembles what’s happened in the past. If this stays this way, how does Peyton live this down?

    Nick-YF January 21, 2007, 8:20 pm
  • He doesn’t – he’ll always be mentioned with Marino. Being a Marino fan, I seethed when Boomer said ” Manning is like arod – all stats and no championships – on the halftime show with Marino sitting there. Esiason never won a championship either, and his stats pale in comparison to either Marino or Manning. Chump.

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 8:30 pm
  • free beer

    dc January 21, 2007, 8:38 pm
  • Where?

    Anonymous January 21, 2007, 8:43 pm
  • Where?

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 8:44 pm
  • Like I said, Nick…

    SF January 21, 2007, 8:44 pm
  • “. I don’t have a rooting interest either way”
    Bro, the pats are from Boston… Need I say more?

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 8:47 pm
  • If you disregard all the championships, they’re like the sox in weird hats :)

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 8:49 pm
  • The Patriots look to be in real trouble now.

    SF January 21, 2007, 8:52 pm
  • ‘Bout time.

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 8:58 pm
  • Even Steven.

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 8:59 pm
  • The Pats are getting what they deserve right now – the defense went terribly soft, playing scared at the end of the first half and the beginning of the second, and now they’re paying with fatigue. The offense needs to do something to give them a break, the only problem is that the Colts D is rested and probably going to go at full tilt.
    This one smells like Colts victory, big time.

    SF January 21, 2007, 9:01 pm
  • Maybe I spoke too soon.

    Nick-YF January 21, 2007, 9:01 pm
  • And then, Ellis Hobbs makes my comment look panicky…
    I stand by it, though.

    SF January 21, 2007, 9:02 pm
  • Heels out of bounds – bullshite call…

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 9:10 pm
  • Hell of a game, no matter what the result. Jeez.

    SF January 21, 2007, 9:56 pm
  • Pats’ offensive coordinator has some questions to answer, as far as I am concerned. Terrible clock management right there.

    SF January 21, 2007, 10:04 pm
  • Whoever wins this game deserves it, without a question.

    SF January 21, 2007, 10:12 pm
  • And there you have it – congrats to the Colts.
    A fine season for the Pats, if not a completely successful one – they skated by last week, and just couldn’t weather Indy’s offense. A fair result, and the Pats will most definitely be back next year, probably even better.

    SF January 21, 2007, 10:18 pm
  • GOODNIGHT! Enjoy, Boston!

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 10:19 pm
  • And have a wonderful evening…

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 10:19 pm
  • Yankees fans rooting against Boston football teams, and gloating in a loss. And we get shit for rooting against the Yankees when the Sox are out of it?
    Sad. So sad.

    SF January 21, 2007, 10:21 pm
  • Bullshit. If it was NYJ or NYG you wold be whooping it up as well. Take it like a man SF.

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 10:27 pm
  • And have a wonderful evening…

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 10:28 pm
  • Rub some dirt in it, Tommy!

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 10:33 pm
  • Go Bears.

    YF January 21, 2007, 10:35 pm
  • Anyway, can we please get on to the new Without a Trace? Enough with the football already.

    YF January 21, 2007, 10:36 pm
  • What are the odds that I’ll ever have to worry about the Jets or Giants even making an AFC or NFC Championship game, much less waste time commenting on a baseball blog about their loss to a team from the midwest that I have no vested interest in rooting for?
    Exactly.

    SF January 21, 2007, 10:37 pm
  • Let’s put a moratorium on Pats conversations for the next 8 months. Deal?
    Interleague doesn’t have to go. But the leagues should be playing the same game.
    Either NL adopts the DH, the AL drops the DH, or the NL always gets to use the DH during interleague games.

    Kazz January 21, 2007, 10:43 pm
  • As a Colts fan since the days of Johnny Unitas, the Pats have dealt me a lot of disappointment over the last few years. It’s nice to finally get by them when it really counted. Tom Brady is the best, and if he would have had a little more time instead of having to force things a bit there at the end, it may have had a different ending.
    Excuse me while I go have a heart attack.

    Whatever January 21, 2007, 10:52 pm
  • “consider this a free-form thread to discuss all things pigskin”
    Isn’t football what this thread is about? C’mon now, let’s not be a sourpuss loser!
    And as far as my personal involvement with the Colts – I’ve been a fan since the first Super Bowl I watched – in 1970.

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 10:54 pm
  • …football’s not a real sport…it’s hockey with a ball and no sticks…when does baseball, america’s pastime, begin?…

    dc January 21, 2007, 10:56 pm
  • ” get on to the new Without a Trace? ”
    My God!

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 10:56 pm
  • dc, football’s a pleasant distraction while we pass the days until pitchers and catchers report.

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 10:59 pm
  • …congratulations on the colts victory andrews…can’t say that i know many colts fans…i’m a jet fan myself, so i’m more used to losing than you and the patriot fans…

    dc January 21, 2007, 11:00 pm
  • Thanks, dc.

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 11:04 pm
  • “Go Bears.”
    Is it just me, or do these guys close ranks like Mike & The Mad Dog?

    Andrews January 21, 2007, 11:18 pm
  • …count me in for the colts…i’d like to see manning win one…as a jet fan my post-seasons consist of trying to find an alternate team to root for…

    dc January 21, 2007, 11:53 pm
  • Football = pro wrestling, but more real and more entertaining. As Andrews said, a “pleasant distraction” to pass the winter months. Still, with New England out of it, I no longer have any rooting interest in the Super Bowl (yet I’m still throwing a Super Bowl party. *sigh*). Let’s go, Commercials!

    Paul SF January 22, 2007, 12:17 am
  • Andrews:
    YF has a family member in the Bears’ front office, so I don’t think he’s closing rank. As for me, I don’t really care who wins, but I think Peyton deserves it after all this time, so count me in for the Colts. (Plus, I can’t bear the idea of someone as totally mediocre as Rex Grossman leading a team to a title).
    But really, now it’s time for baseball!

    SF January 22, 2007, 6:59 am
  • Agreed, my friend

    Andrews January 22, 2007, 7:55 am
  • …i had a friend whose nephew was drafted by the giants once upon a time, but i wouldn’t root for the giants if my life depended on it…my son dated a girl who wound up being a cheerleader for the uconn huskies [her dad, an alum had awesome season tickets], and another girl who dated one of the players…neither of us would root for uconn if our lives depended on it…bring on baseball…

    dc January 22, 2007, 9:12 am
  • More day games!

    Lar January 22, 2007, 9:19 am
  • SF – err, when Boston football wins, they chat “Yankees suck” during the parade, so… =P
    Also, it’s probably more of a case “there’s nothing else to talk about”. Ah well. Personally, Colts is my favorite non-NY team, mostly because I started watching football and rooted for them during those “Cinderella” seasons in the late 90s..

    Lar January 22, 2007, 9:23 am

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