Leave it to a bunch of Boston ganifs to completely screw up that most New Yorkish of foodstuffs: the bagel. Yes, the schmendrick proprietors of—we cringe just to say the name—Finagle a Bagel have fouled our cherished hometown comestible with the addition of, ahem, cocoa. In honor of that fragile nudnik Coco Crisp. Talk about chutzpah. (Apparently Cocoa Krispie treats were beyond their ken.) Worse still, according to the Globe, as many as 100 shlemiel Sox fans are actually eating these fakakta productions each day. Meshuganeh.
PS: There’s a name for a sugary pastry with a hole in the center. In New York we call that a doughnut.