Chief Wyatt Rash: "Ya know what my mother used to say? ‘Life gives you potatoes, make potato salad.’"
Mona Dearly (pictured): "Well life handed me a whole pile of sh*t. Whattem I supposed to make outta that?"
Phil Dearly: "Sh*t salad?"
This charming dialogue (NSFW, clip from wavlist.com) comes from the dark comedy Drowning Mona, which may or may not be great Mother’s Day viewing, depending highly on one’s mother’s sense of humor. I have been hard at work all weekend in the attackgerbil test kitchen with the Yankees attempting to make potato salad, and have prepared a list of ingredients assembled so far. The results are also highly dependent on one’s sense of humor.
Their pythagorean record is 20-16
200 runs scored vs 175 allowed
They are 8-5 in May (thank you, Texas)
In 2005, they were 17-19 heading into May 14th and went on to win the East
Jeter, Posada, ARod, Matsui, Aprilson Giambi
AP, DeSalvo, Bruney, Myers, Scott "The Enforcer" Proctor
Aged Tex-Mex spice mail-ordered.
Their non-pythagorean record isn’t 20-16
They are 2-7 in one run games
They have losing records against six of the nine teams played so far
Shutout twice this season
Mayson Giambi and the other hitters
The other pitchers
How aged is that spice? Will it make any difference in the cook-off?
Some writers have looked to New England for variants on this dish, but right now I don’t think one needs to stray from the original home recipe to see how this fare won’t pass the Pepsi challenge. With no game, at least I get to order take-out for tonight; I ate enough of Mona’s salad this weekend.