Schadenfunny

Anytime the Yankees lose a game in which one of the runs scores on a steal of home, it is your solemn duty as a Red Sox fan to lurk over to the Yankee game threads and take sadistic, slightly disturbing delight in the misery of those who lorded success over Sox fans for so many years (even after 2004).

The constant barrage of "Torre should be fired!" "This season is over!" and "This team sucks!" can get a little tiring. Well, OK, no it can’t. But it does become monotonous. So a quick "bravo!" to Pollyanna "Porkchop" Pough, who wrote arguably the funniest YF reaction I’ve seen this year (our own AG runs a close second):

this team will not finish behind the bosox. the yankees will take the division and win everything everywhere. i’ve posted it so many times today, this is all a big plan by the yankees to rest the first half of the season so people like mo, hughes, clemens and everyone else will be fresh like secret weapons when the second half begins. from july 15-august 15, the yankees will destroy boston’s lead.

i’ve said it many times today but it’s like when rocky would fight his oponents right handed and take all their hits totally wearing them out. then later on in the fight, when clubber or drago were tired, he would switch to southpaw and knock them out. this is what cashman planned. it’s rope-a-dope. it’s pure genius.

it’s also like the soviet union pretending to collapse, when you know they are tricking us and are totally going to take us over in the future. it’s a smart trick.

clemens is a secret weapon. he’s our vicious hippopotomous. the yanks might look doofy and lazy but will maul anyone who comes close.

you will see. clemens banged his fist at the press conference in scranton last night, sending shudders through the press corps. he will do the same to all opposing teams.

boston red sox fans shall soon know only darkness and distress. i stated before, they will walk the streets of boston in the night in tattered clothing with dirty faces and black eyes crying and begging for milk and butter.

clemens will bang his fist.

Ms. Pough does not end there, later using the slogan: "2007 Yankees: Brotherhood of the Fist."

Awesome.

10 comments… add one

  • Yeah, I got a lot of enjoyment out of Polyanna’s posts, especially where she says they should pretend to have eaten Farnsworth, and Torre should wear a red glove when making a pitching change to symbolize his bloodsoaked hand during said cannibalism.
    I’m just a sucker for absurdist humor.

    Froggywomp May 30, 2007, 2:25 am
  • “the fist of clemens tightens with each loss.” is by far the best line of the thread. i gotta believe PPP is a secret sf menacing.

    sf rod May 30, 2007, 7:06 am
  • It’s hard to tell if that Pollyanna Pough’s comment is an actual Yankee fan who seriously believes those delusions or a Red Sox fan who is making clever parody of a delusional Yankee fan.

    SoxFan May 30, 2007, 9:12 am
  • i LOVE LoHud! It’s soooo funny to read those guys.

    Regular_Brad. May 30, 2007, 9:33 am
  • they will walk the streets of boston in the night in tattered clothing with dirty faces and black eyes crying and begging for milk and butter.
    In ’86 after Game Six I wandered streets, but I certainly wasn’t looking for milk and butter. More like beer and bullets…

    SF May 30, 2007, 9:43 am
  • It’s either a cynical Yankee fan or a very clever Sox fan. Either way, it’s great.

    Paul SF May 30, 2007, 9:44 am
  • Oh how delightful to hear the whining of Yanks fans worldwide. My Orioles heart is beating a little faster with the idea that not only are the Pinstripes in the basement, but as of now (*knock on wood*) the Birds may have a shot of making it to the post season.
    If only the Red Sux would start losing too…a girl can dream.

    Agategoddess May 30, 2007, 11:11 am
  • Listen those in glass houses, Yes I know….But if you think the Ohhhhhhh’s are making the playoffs you are dillusional.

    Triskaidekaphobia May 30, 2007, 11:16 am
  • as dillusional as thinking the Yankees would be where they are in June, Trisk? Right now, it looks as good for the Orioles as it does for the Yanks, buddy.

    Regular_Brad. May 30, 2007, 12:06 pm
  • I mean, I’m at the point when I’m looking at the schedule and thinking: “yeah, the Red Sox have a nice little record, but they have had the luxury of playing NY nine times already while Chicago and Detroit haven’t”…
    heheh.:P

    Regular_Brad. May 30, 2007, 12:09 pm

Leave a Comment