The first gamer is somewhere in the ether. Imagine the sound of one hand clapping. That was the gamer. The Yanks won. Onto tonight.
Hank advised tonight’s starter to pitch more like Jamie Moyer. We all pray that Mike Mussina doesn’t follow this directive. The owner also told Derek Jeter to hit like Yunieki Betancourt, Robbie Cano to bat like Tadahito Iguchi, and Jorge Posada to play like Carlos Ruiz. Hank is a fan of the insipid and inoffensive. He likes Wonder Bread and Toad The Wet Sprocket (boy, does he miss those guys). Basically, he’d be happy if the Yanks finished .500, third place in the Central division.
But our boys are fighting that mediocre label! The Yanks are over .500 and rising. If they win tonight against the resurgent Javier Vazquez (what could have been!), they’ll be even further from Hank’s planned record. So here’s to the Yanks playing like, well, the Yanks! Go Bombers!