I’m excited to be a part of a game that gives people a real world experience at what it’s like to be in my shoes and take on the responsibility of building a Major League Baseball team.
– Billy Beane
Even though we just tipped 40 years, we're rooted in the Atari generation. We grew up with bizarre semi-anthropomorphic representations of pugilists and with a pitcher's mound about 85 feet from home. And as we gear up in full-on arrested development for this holiday season with a wishlist that includes a modernized video game machine (come on, Mom and Dad, come through with that PS3!), we saw an ad for a new game in which there is little action other than transaction. A game called "MLB Front Office Manager". Some screenshots and thoughts are after the jump.
Check out Al Quinto! He's an ex-manager with just about no experience in North American, International, or Pro-League Scouting. Plus he ranks a 3/20 on Player Development. But hey, his, uh, "strength" is in his leadership, if by "strength" you mean "couldn't pay a guy $35M to not shoot himself in the leg" strength. Oh, and he apparently can't negotiate his way out of the back of a taxi. We'll ignore the fact that he works for a ballclub that still has CRT televisions hanging from massive ceiling mounts, which might be ok if this was "Cuban League Front Office Manager" and not "MLB". A point in GM Quinto's favor: his dry-erase board shows a real talent for drawing sailboats (or an anvil, or some symbol we can't discern). Someone get me this guy's email address, I've got a washed-up ex-Northern Leaguer with a juice problem I need to deal!
Oh, wait, we DO have his email address. And not only that, his PASSWORD! Let's peek into his account, shall we?
Wait, Al is the GM of THE WORLD CHAMPS? WTF?!?!
As for that inbox, let's see. Hmmm. Looks like Al has signed up for Billy Beane's "Secrets of the Trade" email blast. Because every world-class GM sends out a newsletter with their own handy tips. And he's also apparently got an RSS feed to mlbtraderumors
. Amazingly, he gets emails about the level of fan excitement for the team, something any good GM needs to use as the barometer for decision-making. The fans are bored? Bench Hamels! Fans excited? Cut Ryan Howard! Fans sort of excited, while some are not sure if the starting pitcher is banging a supermodel? Start vicious rumors about the manager boozing and gambling on Jai Alai! Oh, and we do need to note that the Phillies are really
banged up, with three injury recoveries and two new injuries in a three-day span. Or does this game go off the field and those injury reports just take into account Brett Myers' lovelife?
This game looks awesome. Order placed.