As you may have heard, the overwhelming majority of Red Sox starters will not play tonight against the Yanks. Some possible excuses:
-Too depressed to travel due to Arroyo deal
-Everyone’s sick of Johnny D.
-Must attend Swift Boat Veterans for Truth meeting (Schilling Only)
-BoSox Book Group still working on Vollmann’s titanic Europe Central
-Don’t want to miss Anna Benson on Bill O’Reilly
-Still tired from the WBC
-They’re a giant bunch of pussies. Obviously.