Sox vs. Yanks: Stretch Drive Quiz

They’re at it again. The Sox and the Yanks take up arms once more tonight, with the division crown on the line. Have you been following along during this season of tumult? YF & SF offer this quiz to test your knowledge:

1. Before shoving him in the face, Jason Varitek told A-Rod:
A: His donations to the Bush/Cheney campaign imperil our future
B: That the Sox don’t throw at .260 hitters
C: That his mother engages in certain activities not suitable for reproduction on a family website

2. The Red Sox new first baseman spells his last name:
A: Mientkievich
B: Mientkewics
C: Mientkevicz
D: Mientkiewicz

2a. [Remedial question for NYC public school grads]
Derek Jeter is spelled:
A: Derrick Jeter
B: Derek Jeeter
C: Derek Jeter

3. The Yanks were swept by the Sox in April because:
A: That Neanderthal out in center had everyone freaked
B: A bullpen attendant threatened to kick their ass
C: A-Rod went 1-for-21

4. The Sox blew three to the Yanks in June because:
A: Nomar was busy playing hacky with Mia
B: Manny was distracted by a shiny object
C: Pedro wasn’t back from vacation
D: Sheff was unstoppable

5. Who of the following has not been booed at a Yanks or Sox game this season:
A: Ben Affleck
B: Dick Cheney
C: Mr. 3000

6. When Derek made his spectacular 12th inning dive into the stands, he:
A: Saved girlfriend Jessica Alba from a beaning
B: Saved uberfan Rudy Giuliani from a beaning
C: Crushed the hopes of Sox fans yet again
C: Ruined a planned night out at Pangea

7. After replacing the dazed and bloodied Jeter in the 13th, Jason Giambi:
A: Homered to win the game
B: Made a diving play in the hole
C: Struck out with a man on third and no outs

8. Rank the following in order of relative independence from higher authority:
A. Iraqi President Ghazi Al-Yawer
B. Chechen President Alu Alkhanov
C: Benji
D: Theo Epstein
E: Brian Cashman

9. Which politician has not milked the rivalry for personal gain this year:
A: George Bush
B: Dick Cheney
C: George Pataki
D: Mike Bloomberg
E: Rudy Giuliani
F: John Kerry
G: None of the above

10. The most dangerous place for a Red Sox fan this weekend is:
A: Falluja
B: Jallalabad
C: Darfur
D: Grozny
E: The right field bleachers

11. Kevin Brown’s biggest impact has been on:
A: His teammates
B: The NY press corps
C: Red Sox batters
D: A clubhouse wall

12. Kevin Millar endorses:
A: Fatburger
B: Jack in the Box
C: Kentucky Fried Chicken
D: All of the above

13. Curt Schilling is not pitching in the coming series:
A: So he can spend more time with “Destiny” at Scores
B: So he can spend more time with “Misty” at Flash Dancers
C: So he can spend more time with “Candy” at the Baby Doll Lounge
D: So he could get his 20th win against Tampa

14. The Sox amazing late season run was triggered by:
A: Inspirational new “Cowboy Up” t-shirts
B: Liberal facial hair policy
C: Top Secret Bill James scouting reports
D: The Democratic National Convention

15. The Yanks amazing late season slide was triggered by:
A: Parasite
B: Bill Mueller’s walk-off homer against Mariano
C: The Republican National Convention

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • The most horrific result of Hurricane Ivan was:
    A. 33 deaths
    B. Florida declared a disaster area
    C. $10 billion worth of damage
    D. Washed out 2 days of Yanks-Sox

    JCL (YF) September 17, 2004, 2:20 pm
  • What’s the answer to number 12?

    billyfrombelfast September 18, 2004, 10:07 am
  • Our apologies on the initial formulation of no. 12, which caused confusion. It has now been changed, and the answer, for the record, is C.

    YF & SF September 18, 2004, 10:56 am

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