“The Discussion: A Play in One (very short) Act”

The role of Brian Cashman will be played by Steve Carell

The role of Tom O'Connell, voice-only, will be played by Shelly Levene

The Scene

The one scene of ACT ONE takes place in a cold, modern, corporate office, wallpapered on two sides in white with thin pinstripes. An enormous wood desk sits in the center of the office, a picture window behind the desk with credenza below looks onto the Deegan Expressway. Cars mired in traffic sit stationary on the roadway. Dull honking can be heard through the window.

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE

A phone rings

Cashman: Cashman here.

O'Connell (ambient, off-stage, muffled as on a phone call): Brian. It's me. O'Connell.  Long time.

Cashman: Hey, Mike!

O'Connell: No, not Mike. Tom. Carl Pavano's agent.

Cashman: …

Cashman hangs the phone up softly and spins in his chair, puts his feet up on a credenza, and stares at the cars idling on the expressway. 

The lights dim.

END

14 comments… add one

  • hahahaha.
    Act 2 involves a 35M dollar deal for him to sit in Florida for three years. Again.

    Brad January 19, 2011, 2:14 pm
  • I have been saying all along, if his name wasn’t Carl Pavano and you went just by his stats he’d already be a Yankee. File this under he may have learned his lesson: Cashman’s discussion with Pavano’s agent only included a 1 year deal.

    John - YF January 19, 2011, 2:24 pm
  • But his name is Carl Pavano. Just as his name was Javy Vasquez.

    Brad January 19, 2011, 2:31 pm
  • Your point: To bring up bad signings/moves. Hammered home, both moves sucked, got it. This game is fun, I can’t wait for Lackey to (further)implode so I can play too ;)
    My point: As the Yankees are currently constituted someone that provides the stats that Pavano has over the past 2 seasons would certainly be helpful to this team. So all I am saying, was saying and will say is that the stats are there, it’s the name that kept them away initially.
    The Twins seemed to have saved the day offering that 2nd year. Thank you Twins.

    John - YF January 19, 2011, 2:42 pm
  • Paul,
    Check your email, buddy.

    Brad January 19, 2011, 2:45 pm
  • Your point: To bring up bad signings/moves. Hammered home, both moves sucked, got it. This game is fun, I can’t wait for Lackey to (further)implode so I can play too ;)
    No, it’s not. The simple fact is that at the time of the Javy signing, EVERYONE knew what was happening, and they did it anyhow. I’m not hammering home anything other than the fact that the Yankees have been down this road before, know it didn’t work, was a huge point of contention within the organization, and now are considering doing it again? I’m not hammering home anything other than what doesn’t make sense at all to me.
    Also, to imply that you can’t wait for Lackey to “further implode” suggests that he’s imploded while in Boston at some other point, which he most certainly did not. Past June or so, Lackey was one of the best pitchers in baseball.
    Had you said “Beckett”, we’d be on the same page!

    Brad January 19, 2011, 2:49 pm
  • I want to be laughing, but I find myself sinking into a dark rage.

    attackgerbil January 19, 2011, 2:52 pm
  • Positive thought: maybe we get to take home a set of steak knives.

    attackgerbil January 19, 2011, 2:57 pm
  • But one thing you are forgetting Brad: The Yankees have as of today CC, Burnett, Hughes, Nova and Mitre…Bad track record be damned the Yankees would gladly take Pavano or Vazquez back right now! I am trying accentuate the urgency of this situation, not ignore the colossal cluster F that was both Vazquez stints and the American Idle’s stay in the Bronx.
    As for Lackey: I am hoping it’s him and not Beckett for 2 reasons: One, I own Beckett in my fantasy league and Two, the Sox had to resign Beckett, while Lackey was a luxury. It will look at lot worse for Boston if he (Lackey) craps the bed. Listen I have a pretty good track record for not being a homer so honestly I can’t agree with Lackey’s 2010 being a season the Sox and their fans are satisfied with. If not for Buchholz and Lester maturing into 2 of the best young pitchers in the game Lackey’s lack of value last year would have been magnified ten fold. He was able hide behind what ended up being a very good overall pitching staff. If we are being honest they are paying Lackey 1/2 money to be a #4. Just as the Yankees expected Burnett to be a #2 and paid him as such. I just had a deja vu moment, we’ve had this argument…let’s just wait until the fall of 2011 and talk about it then. I hope I am right and you hope you are right, but only time will tell.

    John - YF January 19, 2011, 3:06 pm
  • John, I was very happy with the final Lackey numbers. He was awesome in the second half. His entire season was really hampered by a series of bad starts in the beginning of the year. He really rounded into the legitimate number three, which isn’t his fault that, as you say, Lester and Buchholz were in front of him.

    Brad January 19, 2011, 3:12 pm
  • As I was with AJ Burnett in 2009, give it time ;)
    Don’t mind me, I just keep thinking about our staff and my anger transfers to the rest of thought process, I am in a awful mood! Can you tell?

    John - YF January 19, 2011, 3:29 pm
  • Pedroia just told the guys on EEI that they needed to get a set of welding goggles for next year.
    I love that guy.

    Brad January 19, 2011, 3:37 pm
  • “…Act 2 involves a 35M dollar deal for him to sit in Florida for three years. Again….”
    only if the gorilla signs him brad… ;)
    “…Pedroia just told the guys on EEI that they needed to get a set of welding goggles for next year…”
    that’s nice…at least little fella’s still staying positive…he is funny
    yeah, we hopefully we don’t get so bored we have to rev up the bad signing or spending discussions again…sox fans conveniently forget that their team wanted porn-stache just as badly as we did, and i might as well throw contreras in there as well…of course, that was back when the sox were a small market team, and couldn’t afford those guys…see, but for your frugal ownership, our bad signings could have been yours….at least lugo’s finally off the books ;)

    dc January 19, 2011, 5:22 pm
  • at least lugo’s finally off the books ;
    Count da ringzzzzz! ;-)

    Paul SF January 19, 2011, 5:32 pm

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