You have “E.D.” too?
“A-Rod’s lips are sealed (look closely at photo), A-Rod will not say a word. You will not hear A-Rod name names. Going forward though A-Rod will begin to point to any and all steroid offenders that A-Rod knows.”
– Alex Rodriguez
(In my head I just picture Alex referring to himself like Jimmy from Seinfeld did…)
Hey I tried.
I did not have sex with that woman…
Wow, that HCG really brings out some good color in your roots!
I bet you get caught first.
What happens at the All Star game, stays at the All Star game.
Damnit, I just clicked on the jpeg link. This prize is a sham! I feel so used.
“I told you to stop calling my cousin!”
Yo, man. If you don’t stop beating up 70 year old men at the park, they’re going to link this crap to roid rage. You have to chill out, buddy. What the hell? That bitch over there has been following me everywhere.
“Manny, can I poke your fanny?”
“I see you are into Kabbalah too!”
See, what you need to do is blame it on something your doctor prescribed for you for a private matter and he *thought* wouldn’t interfere with the drug policy. You got that!?
“Do those pills make your hair longer too?”
For the last time–I’m not going to introduce you to Madonna! But if you’re nice to me, I might let you meet my cousin.
I’d rather confess than wear that wig to hide my big, acne head
I told you getting that sex change would only get you in trouble.
“I knew your D-cups weren’t natural.’
Pull my finger. I smell like lady farts.
“So what do you take to hit in the clutch?”
….said, ‘pull my finger.’ So I did. And then she tooted three bars of “Material Girl.” Amazing muscle control. Anyhoo, it’s really hard to find support AND comfort. You really need a custom fitting.
oop.. ponch and hitdog already covered it.
“…like this big, I’m telling you.”
Manny: “Hey, do I smell Madonna?”
“hahahahaha you guys are stuck with that Lugo guy over there hahahahaha”
“Don’t call me bitch tits!!!”
“That guy over there beats his wife right?”
“I know, they all seem to think we’re horses right?”
“Here, Manny, you’ve got a spot of foam on the corner of your mouth. Lemme get that for you.”
“When I do this, my right one lactates. When I do it with the left, nothing happens. Go figure.”
“hey, does this smell like old lady to you?”
(I don’t know if we’re voting, but Atheose’s one about 8 replies up gets the win from me)
sorry ath, didn’t see yours.
since ath beat me to it, i’ll try again.
“no, no, no. we’ll try it again. it goes…where did you come from, where did you go, where did you come from cotton eyed joe”
If I had to vote I’d go with Krueg’s, which made me laugh out loud.
“Your hair tie is stunning…wanna do some roids?”
“No, really. Shoot up in your eye. Really.”
“Rememeber, if you have an erection that lasts longer than 4 hours I know a woman you can see”
“Manny, you’re my brown-eyed girl.”
Manny: “It’s okay, I have the NYU Delta Zeta sorority house on speed dial for such an occasion.”
That would be immediately followed up with something like….
Wait what… we have who at third while im on th DL….
You can use the same bit for most of the bullpen :)
You want more fuego? You should take what Madonna takes before we sado maso.
“i’m telling you man, that shit’ll turn your lips blue…”
AROD ~”Hey Manny, I know you are going for the Rue Paul look with the hair and man boobs… If you really want to go all the way with that, I got this cousin who can hook you up with some good stuff…”
No worries, I’ve been doing it for years and they’ve yet to catch on.
Not funny, man, you *know* the needle goes in the fleshy part of the glute. If you ever stick me in my taint again, I’m gonna kick your ass.
“Those female hormones really make your hair shine!”
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