The Sports Hernia’s Carl Pavano Send-Off

The Sports Hernia delivers maybe the definitive Yankee fan goodbye post for Carl Pavano. It's reminiscent of that scene in 25th Hour when Ed Norton gives that F-You monologue about New York City, except the rant is only about one person, and the speaker is not projecting his self-hate on the target (i.e. there's no mirror in front of the writer here).

Here's my favorite line, if only because he's attacking the state in which I was born:

Instead of using the Yankee facilities to get healthy, you could have
been wallowing away in that shit bird home state of Connecticut, while
no other team in baseball would touch you.

I really love expressions like "shit bird". Anyway, this does it for me. I think now that we have that out of our system, it's time to move on. The Carl Pavano Era is dead. Long live the Carl Pavano Era… since sometime in the future there will probably be a Carl Pavano (Maybe not as Carl Pavanoesque as the real Carl Pavano but certainly there will be a player who we all can't stand. It's a statistical inevitability that there's always one player on a roster most fans of that team just hate.)

6 comments… add one

  • My prediction:
    Ragtag Carl goes 15-7 with a 4.15ERA.
    It’s the only logical thing that could happen.
    And CT is “shit bird”. I live here.

    Brad January 13, 2009, 5:28 pm
  • For some, shyness might be their Carl Pavano. For others, a lack of education might be their Carl Pavano. For his last team, Carl Pavano was a big, fragile man-child who sat around ordering car accessories on eBay with the $40 million he stole from them.
    I have to say though, it just won’t be the same seeing Carl Pavano in a Cleveland uniform. Or any, for that matter.

    FenSheaParkway January 13, 2009, 7:00 pm
  • I don’t know. For a Sox fan, a guy who helps rip the Yankees hearts out in a World Series and then goes on to job them out of $40M is the kind of guy who deserves, say, a significant front office HoF push.
    But that’s just me.

    SF January 13, 2009, 7:39 pm
  • For all that he has contributed to Yankee Schadenfreude, Carl “My Butt Hurts” Pavano deserves some kind of recognition from Red Sox Nation, don’t you think?
    How about a Carl Pavano Appreciation Day at Fenway?

    SoxFan January 14, 2009, 12:46 am
  • I don’t know. For a Sox fan, a guy who helps rip the Yankees hearts out in a World Series and then goes on to job them out of $40M is the kind of guy who deserves, say, a significant front office HoF push.
    Funny. But using him to land one of the best pitchers of all-time doesn’t go on his Red Sox HOF plaque?

    Rob January 14, 2009, 7:08 am
  • But using him to land one of the best pitchers of all-time doesn’t go on his Red Sox HOF plaque?
    That too. And that is also the only way in which someone named “Tony Armas” makes it in as well.

    SF January 14, 2009, 8:01 am

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