As the Red Sox interview potential GM candidates, we thought we’d compile our
own short list. Read all about them after the jump.
Brian Epstein: Former Beatles manager.
Strengths: Great experience handling solipsistic geniuses. Last name may fool RSN into briefly thinking front office has made amends with former GM. Currently dead, which would help working relationship with Larry Lucchino.
Weaknesses: Dead. Lack of baseball experience.
Theo Van Gogh – Ex-living iconoclastic Dutch film director
Strengths: First name may keep Sox fans at bay, thinking "Theo’s back!". Known for unconventional thinking and rampant drug use, may bring idiosyncratic management style to front office. Dead (see Brian Epstein, above).
Weaknesses: Lack of english skills. Cocaine addiction might make trade talks with other teams untenable. Dead.
Mike Bloomberg – New York City Politico
Strengths: Hyper-popular Mayor of New York, recently re-elected by record margin, though a native Bostonian who grew up rooting for the Sox. Closet Democrat would bring famed management prowess to favorite team (yeah, sure, he just loves those Mets and Yanks. Right.). Might chip in personal cash to lock down targeted free agents.
Weaknesses: Massive ego, may attempt to relocate Sox to Raynham T Station against will of fans.
Strengths: Hall of Fame hitter, masterful interpersonal skills might help bring prized free agents to Boston for title run. Amiable, goofy presence would take edge off nasty Boston press corps.
Weaknesses: Would trade self on first day of job.