The Wide World of Blogs: Sex With Socks, Sheff and Needles, and More…

This is the first installment of a new Colbertian 434-part series in which I scan the web looking for interesting Sox- or Yanks-themed threads from the last few days. The intention is to provide you with a detailed snapshot of what Sox and Yanks fans and bloggers are thinking about at this moment. My intensive search (48 straight hours at my desk in front of the computer, no food, my girlfriend refusing to speak to me, a weight loss of 8 pounds, etc.) has yielded these items:

  • Annalisa Ellis, a writer for The Phat Phree, does a detailed study of which Sox players she’d bone and which she wouldn’t. Would she do Manny? "Don’t let the clever “ManRam” nickname fool you. The only thing he’ll be ramming is my a** when I’m bent over the infield wall." What about Big Papi? "He couldn’t be on top, because I would die. I couldn’t be on top because dammit, I’m really not that flexible. So, it would probably have to be from behind and even calling him “Manny” wouldn’t make that fun." This is a new field of performance analysis. While her attempt is admirable, statheads have found several problems with her unscientific methodology.
  • I think SF broke the news here first but several blogs have posted pieces about it as well: Turns out, Sheffield is alleged to have knowingly used performing enhancing drugs. Steve Lombardi at Was Watching wonders if these drugs actually enhanced his performance.
  • There are a couple of fun pieces up at Replacement Level Yankees Weblog. SG uses simulation software and different projections systems with the folowing results: The Yanks will win the AL East by two games over the Sox; it is highly unlikely that the Yanks will score 1000 runs.
  • Oh yeah, the Yanks and Sox played a game last night and there were some fireworks. Buster Olney noted the plunk fest in his blog and believes it’s a sign of things to come: "There’s almost no doubt that they will have incidents this year, and you can almost assume that Farnsworth or Tavarez or Sturtze will be in the middle of something."
  • Finally and on an unrelated note, this Teddy Wayne piece at McSweeney’s notes the uncanny similarities between living through junior high school and living through Bush’s presidency.
8 comments… add one
  • we haven’t had a good fight since july 24, 2004. i’d say a brawl is definitely brewing.

    beth March 23, 2006, 1:22 pm
  • God help the Yankee that pisses off Wily Mo. He should be playing linebacker for the Pats, not whiffing for the Sawx. Matter of fact, now that Willie McGinest is gone, there’s an opening . . .
    The other guy to avoid in a fight with the Sawx is David Wells. If he sits on you, there’s definitely a season ending injury in the offing~

    Anonymous March 24, 2006, 6:34 am
  • God help Willy Mo if he gets in the way of Sheff. I’ve seen Sheff fight when he played for the Dodgers and the Marlins and he’ll fu*k up any Sox player who steps up.

    bloodyank78 March 24, 2006, 11:46 am
  • /chuckle
    I was only kidding. Why am I not surprised by the “I’ve seen Sheff fight . . . and he’ll fuck up any Sox player . . .” comment?
    Gotta love Yankees fans. ;)

    Craig March 24, 2006, 6:02 pm
  • Oh, and by the way, when you saw him fight, was that pre-Balco or post? =)

    Craig March 24, 2006, 6:03 pm
  • I’ve seen Sheffield bark, and let me tell ya, it’s intimidating. Like all the times he just stares at the pitcher like he wants to do something, but never does. Whew, makes me tremble thinking about it.
    You’re an idiot.

    Brad March 24, 2006, 11:29 pm
  • Right now! Let’s fight!
    The only idiot here is you putz. Much love to the Balco boys though~

    Craig March 25, 2006, 6:37 am
  • hahah.

    Brad March 25, 2006, 8:49 am

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