Imagining the coming onslaught of prognostications, and considering the winter of their discontent, visions of the legion of Yankees fans making their annual calls came streaming into my head over the weekend. This is what I saw:
- AL East – Yanks
- AL Central – Whichever team does best against the Yanks
- AL West – See AL Central
- AL Wild Card – The Sox f**king suck, probably not them.
- National League – Who cares, unless we’re playing them in interleague games.
- ALCS – Like it matters who we play.
- NLCS – See NL regular season predictions.
- World Series – See ALCS predictions.
- AL MVP – Probably A-Rod, but it could also be Unit, or Jeets, or even Mo. Somebody from the Yanks, no matter what.
- AL Manager of the Year – Joe. BEST F**KING MANAGER EVER.
- AL Comeback Player of the Year – Giambino
- AL GM of the Year: George Steinbrenner
- AL Cy Young: The guy who used to play for Arizona who’s not a loudmouthed asshole.
Over the next week, we’ll check in to see just how absurd these really seem.
(And did I mention that the Sox suck, too?)