Steve Goldman has a quiz up at the Pinstriped Bible about predictions for the coming season. I thought, because I’m a shameless copycat, I’d create a similar quiz for YFSF. Except this one is annotated, so that you don’t have to go to the bottom to figure out the right answers, and you get to understand why the answers you got wrong are wrong and vice versa. Here is it is:
1. Which starting pitcher will have the lowest ERA in 2007?
- Chien-Ming Wang
- Curt Schilling
- Mike Mussina
- Kei Igawa
- Josh Beckett
- Carl Pavano
- Tim Wakefield
- Andy Pettitte
Answer: Carl Pavano. Trick question! Pavano pitches one inning in April. He loads the bases but gets out of the jam without giving up a run. While pumping his fist in jubilation he pulls a buttock muscle (the left one). It turns out that he has broken an unidentifiable (not a typo) bone in his body. He is out for the season. And yes, I have made a similar joke about Pavano’s low ERA due to injury before. Again, I am not very original. For those who answered "Josh Beckett", irony is not appreciated. Buck up. This is a serious quiz. If you misread the question as "highest ERA" then consider this a mulligan.
More hilarious questions after the bump
2. Roger Clemens will play for the:
- Red Sox
- All of the above
- None of the above
Answer: Both "all of the above" and "none of the above." You figure it out (it’s a quantum physics equation)
3. Most touching reunion of 2007:
- Pettitte comes back to the Bronx
- Lester returns to Fenway
- Hideki Matsui meets Ron Jeremy before a game against the Angels in Anaheim, tells him, "I know you better than you know yourself." Jeremy blushes. Matsui sobs hysterically. They hug…End scene
Answer: No joke here. Jon Lester’s return is the best news in baseball this year. No doubt about it.
4. What is the significance of Joel Pineiro?
- Theo Epstein is depressed. This is a cry for help.
- Theo Epstein loves the long ball.
BobBill (thanks, QuoSF) Bavasi is a better judge of talent than Bill James
Answer: Bavasi’s smarter than James. Obviously.
5. J.D. Drew’s deal becomes official:
- in a week
- by the end of the war in Iraq
- When Manny is traded
Answer: When Manny is traded. This should happen any day now. The Herald and Globe are both hot on a rumor that has Ramirez as good as gone.
6. Alex Rodriguez
- Not sure why, but he makes me angry
- I’m generally angry and A-Rod doesn’t help me in that department
- The anger I project his way should really be directed toward myself
- I accept him as a Yankee because he gives his best, is unbelievably talented, and, yeah, he’s a robot and kind of bizarre (what’s up with all that stuff he does?) but he’s our robot.
Answer: I’m generally angry and he doesn’t help me in that department.
If you got all questions right, you are amazing. If you got 1 or more of the questions wrong, you earned my everlasting contempt. I’m so disappointed in you. So very disappointed.