Well, the workers at Yankee Stadium have (thankfully) unearthed the David Ortiz jersey buried in the concrete beneath the Bombers’ future grounds. Somewhere the God of Metaphors has breathed a sigh of relief, as the knucklehead who thought he was cursing the Yankees by sinking the uniform of one of the Sox’ most important offensive cogs didn’t quite recognize the misplaced intentions of his actions and the f*cked-up symbolism of his prank. We offer our gratitude: the Yankees and their construction crew have done everyone who roots for the Sox a favor, from those who appreciate a literate metaphor to those of us concerned about our amiable slugger. Let’s see what happens tonight. We’re hopeful that maybe the Yankees will regret not leaving that jersey right where it was, mired in a literal slump.
Time to Find Hoffa
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