Baseball begins anew this weekend, and not a minute too soon. We’ve been putting up with RSN’s collective Sally Field moment all winter, and as much as we appreciate the enthusiasm, the act is starting to wear thin. (Okay, we never much appreciated the enthusiasm, but whatever.) Anyway, with the resumption of hostilities we fully expect the Sox to return to their traditional role as the Little Engine that Couldn’t. And with that in mind we present here a few things you can expect to see before pennants fly again in Beantown:

-Lindsay Lohan, Nightline anchor
-“John Ashcroft & 50 Cent: Duets”
-Daniel Libeskind’s “Scepter of Democracy”/Iraqi Parliament Building
-Barry Bonds Media Appreciation Day
-Kerry’s missing Ohio ballots
-Fever Pitch IV
-A 4 BR in NYC under $250K
-Ted Williams, defrosted and back in left
-Halley’s Comet
-The WMDs
-Flying pigs
-World Peace

5 comments… add one
  • – Dakota Fanning in rehab

    SF March 31, 2005, 5:32 pm
  • If history repeats itself, then the Sox are due 4 more WS wins by 2018, and the NYYs will get their next one in 2023.
    That may be a bit silly, but its not as silly as this 2090 stuff……….

    Anonymous April 1, 2005, 8:10 am
  • YF – I really liked the Halley’s Comet time period. I now have sweet tea all over my monitor. Nicely done!

    sithkhan April 1, 2005, 12:18 pm
  • Kevin Millar sober.

    Bob April 1, 2005, 2:41 pm
  • History will repeat itself to hell with the idiot nation, this year is war.

    The Curse is back!!!!! April 1, 2005, 11:07 pm

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