Unintentional Hilarity, Thy Name Is Dallas

Dallas Braden, that is, who seems to be the only person on the planet who hasn't moved past what can arguably be called the smallest of Alex Rodriguez's several faux pas. (Faux pass'? Fauxes pas?). He said some unintentionally funny things in his initial interview after the game ("I don’t have a handful of wins. I only have three. Do the math, A-Rod."), but nothing compares to his most recent series of unfortunate comments.

From MLB Fanhouse (http://mlb.fanhouse.com/2010/05/05/dallas-braden-is-still-talking-about-alex-rodriguez/):

"…I was always told if you give a fool enough rope, he'll hang himself, and with those comments, he had all the rope he needed."
Braden actually said this with a straight face without realizing he was carrying behind him about 30 feet of that figurative rope.
"I think he's probably garnered a new respect for the unwritten rules and the people who hold them close to their game. But I think you're right, we don't do much talking in the 209 (a reference to Stockton, Calif., where Braden went to high school)."

Indeed quite a perplexing statement, since all Braden has done since then is talk. And talk. And talk. And referring back to his last comment, even if he were to take action, it would result in at the very least a swift 10-game suspension, since he has talked about doing it. Talk about hanging yourself with your own rope. Like, in three different ways.

"He's an individualistic player. He plays for the name on the back of the jersey, not the front. I don't know if he's noticed, but he doesn't have a name on the back over there so he should play for the name on the front [c]over."

So what is Braden's point? He even knows A-Rod doesn't have a name on the back of his jersey. So he plays for no one? That actually sounds kind of true, given Alex's new-found "I don't really give a damn" attitude in regards to the media. However, I kind of doubt Braden's mind can think an extra layer deeper. He can't even get the first one right.

So, the real question here is: have we finally found a major leaguer who's dumber than Jonathan Papelbon? At least Papelbon seems to know he's not all that smart and just runs with it. Braden just looks to be one of those guys who tries to look tough but ultimately fails:
Dallasbraden 

Yup, I think we've got him pegged. No wonder A-Rod thought it was funny.


8 comments… add one

  • You can call me “Dallas.” This could be the start of something big for me.

    attackgerbil May 6, 2010, 6:55 pm
  • .. and before anybody asks, I am not happy for soaking my tampons in vodka again..

    attackgerbil May 6, 2010, 6:58 pm
  • I don’t know what to make of you anymore AG…if I had to guess, Mushrooms???

    krueg May 6, 2010, 9:31 pm
  • i’ve stopped laughing long enough to comment…if i can include an inactive/retired player on the list of dumbest, i gotta go with john rocker…but this guy braden is more sad comedy than anything…his bold talk is risking a potential fine and suspension…in fact they ought to do just that for shooting his mouth off about what he might do…i still haven’t decided if arod’s mound-stomp was a violation of some sacred unwritten rule as braden suggests, or a childish move to show him up, or nothing of intent at all…but, get over it already…i can’t help but think this guy is just another jealous fool pissed off about arod’s good fortune…pick, pick, pick

    dc May 7, 2010, 10:30 am
  • I see Dallas’ point. ARod is a veteran, a great player, and extremely cocky. I really think it was a little childish of ARod to do this in the first place, then his hand and facial gestures before he left the field that inning – with regards to Dallas’ comments to him. And don’t tell me that ARod was “unaware” of this. He lied about his steroid use… what makes you think he’d be truthful about this??
    On the flip side, Dallas showed off a hell of a lot of guts in making a point to ARod about something called “Respect”. Yes, maybe they’re making this into something larger than it is… but it all comes down to one thing : Sportsmanship. And, I think ARod needs a lesson in it.

    David Kostyla May 7, 2010, 2:15 pm
  • You are entitled to your opinion David. Doesn’t really sound like you are very objective on the matter I would say…what the fuck do steroids have to do with this??? You think this idiot is showing “guts”? Really? It seems to me that all the retarded gibberish he is spewing could equally apply to him, no?
    What ARod did was dickish at worst, was it worthy to STILL be talking about it? No f-ing way. Is it another dumb thing he did for the haters (you) to pile on? Sure is. Do most of us Yankee fans care? Nope.
    See the thing is, ARod, whether you love him or hate him, is a veteran and has earned WAY more currency in this game than this no-name pitcher that will be greeting at Wal-Mart in a few years.
    Go away troll.

    krueg May 7, 2010, 4:02 pm
  • krueg: not shrooms, but rock that I’m on. 30 Rock specifically.

    attackgerbil May 7, 2010, 4:42 pm
  • I regret not watching that show from the start…I need to get the DVD’s!!! Not to mention I love Tina Fey…she is in the Lisa Loeb mold. Yummy.

    krueg May 7, 2010, 11:01 pm

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