We Dig Our Models with Brains the Size of Models: Sox-Mariners Gamer VIII

The Sox’ play during the summer months has conjured up memories of an obscure lyric from one of the unsung bands of the late 80’s — Hull, England’s The Housemartins.  Paul Heaton, the lead singer of that band (and current LV for The Beautiful South), seemed to be a kindred spirit, his songs dripping with a humorous kind of cynicism.  The lyric comes from a song called "The Light is Always Green" (penned in 1987, it definitely could have been the theme song for the Wendell Kim era), a melodiously melancholy song about mass culture and the thinness of it all.  Our Sox, as the lyric describes, have been playing like models with brains the size of models: it’s as if they believe they can waltz down the runway and into the playoffs, no extra thought or dedication to the intricacies of the game needed.  They are playing superficial, unthoughtful baseball, and their record over the last two months reflects that disinterest. We’re tired of it, and, unlike the songs of the long-since dismantled Housemartins, it doesn’t put a sly smile on our face.  We don’t, as the song says, dig.

Discuss the game here.

Red Sox
Pedroia 4
Youkilis 3
Ortiz D
Ramirez 7
Lowell 5
Varitek 2
Drew 9
Crisp 8
Lugo 6

Matsuzaka 1

Suzuki 8
Vidro D
Guillen 9
Ibanez 7
Beltre 5
Broussard 3
Johjima 2
Lopez (Jose) 4
Betancourt 6

Washburn 1

100 comments… add one
  • Um, the Housemartins???

    YF August 4, 2007, 4:20 pm
  • Yep, you got a problem with that?

    SF August 4, 2007, 4:43 pm
  • No problems. Speaking of no problems, I know you’ve been voicing a lot of concern about the Sox ability to hold off the Yanks, but I think with Beckett and Matsuzaka pitching the way they have lately, with that bullpen back there to hold things down, and with Manny, Papi, and Youk hitting…..that’s a lot of ground to make up. Not impossible, but real tough. cleveland and detroit (and seattle), though, i think have some things to worry about.

    YF August 4, 2007, 5:20 pm
  • One of Cleveland or Detroit is dead meat, I agree. But I won’t stand for your attempts at reverse-jinxing my beloved squad, so I am calling you on this one.

    SF August 4, 2007, 5:22 pm
  • The Yankees have scored 66 runs in their last six games. Scary.

    Hudson August 4, 2007, 6:30 pm
  • Kevin Kennedy just said the Yankees were “sneaking into the Wild Card race”. They way they are playing, I’d say they are doing the exact opposite of “sneaking”, they’re STOMPING their way into the race.

    SF August 4, 2007, 6:52 pm
  • On the other hand, the Yankees have also *allowed* an average of more than 6 runs per game over the same period. It’ll be interesting to see what happens when they run into some better pitching and hitting come mid-August.

    Hudson August 4, 2007, 6:55 pm
  • (Sorry, that’s more like a bit over 5 runs per game, not 6, now that I recompute the scores.)

    Hudson August 4, 2007, 6:56 pm
  • I think the Yankees are 37-20 in their last 57 games. Compare that to the Sox. This is not a team sneaking up on anyone — they are rolling their way to a postseason slot. They are playing great, at least at the plate. They are built to overcome mediocre pitching, if that’s what they end up getting (it’s what they’ve gotten, for the most part). Five runs allowed to them is like 7 or 8 to everyone else, it’s like Michael Jordan wagering $50K on a golf match, the money/runs mean less to them. This is a team to be very nervous about; they WILL make the playoffs, I am almost certain of that. At that point, it’s a crapshoot.

    SF August 4, 2007, 7:03 pm
  • Little man is with grandma/pa tonight. After ms gerbil gets off her shift, it’s time for some housemartinis.

    attackgerbil August 4, 2007, 8:31 pm
  • The baserunning has been so atrocious lately, it almost makes one pine for the Dale Sveum (“rhymes with shame”) era.

    Hudson August 4, 2007, 9:34 pm
  • Youks reaches in the 1st but is stranded… DiceK has set down the 1st two in the bottom half.

    Hudson August 4, 2007, 10:25 pm
  • Bonds homered :@

    TJ August 4, 2007, 10:36 pm
  • Sox go quickly in the top of the 2nd, 0-0.
    Daisuke gives up a gopher ball to Beltre, 1-0 Mariners.

    Hudson August 4, 2007, 10:36 pm
  • Lugo reaches on an infield single, but it’s erased by a DP. Still 1-0 Seattle going to the bottom of the 3rd.

    Hudson August 4, 2007, 10:44 pm
  • The footage of Hank Aaron passing Ruth is some of the most moving film on earth. Bonds isn’t half the hero that Aaron was, and will remain — I hope.

    Hudson August 4, 2007, 10:46 pm
  • ‘…And the heels they always showed to us were clean, clean, clean.’ I almost forgot abou those guys even though they spawned the Beautiful South and Fatboy Slim. Only two albums, what a shame.

    chrismarz August 4, 2007, 10:58 pm
  • Sox up 2-1 on Varitek double

    Rob August 4, 2007, 11:43 pm
  • > Bonds isn’t half the hero that Aaron was
    I like where you were going, Hudson, and I will extend your thought to say that Bonds isn’t _any_ kind of hero. He’s a phenomenal athlete and baseball player, but the rank of hero won’t be joined by the likes of Bonds, or ARod, or anyone of the current pantheon of baseball greats. What Aaron, Robinson, Flood, O’Neil and men of that caliber faced, yes, those men can each be called a hero without a sideways glance. To use the word “hero” in any sense with today’s ballers is a misuse of the word.

    attackgerbil August 4, 2007, 11:46 pm
  • Sox up 3-1 on Papi RBI single.

    Rob August 4, 2007, 11:53 pm
  • Sox get another run in on a single by Youks, a single by Papi, and a wild throw by Guillen to third. 3-1 Sox, top of the 6th, no outs, Ortiz at 3rd.

    Hudson August 4, 2007, 11:53 pm
  • Ramirez doubles in Papi

    Rob August 4, 2007, 11:53 pm
  • And now a Manny double brings Papi home, 4-1, one out.

    Hudson August 4, 2007, 11:54 pm
  • That was a picturesque swing by Mr. Ramirez.

    Hudson August 4, 2007, 11:55 pm
  • Tek takes a pitch for a long ride but Ichiro tracks it down by the wall.
    Drew singles but Manny is held at 3rd as Guillen whips the ball in. Runners at the corner with two down.

    Hudson August 4, 2007, 11:59 pm
  • Crisp ends the inning, 6-4, 4-1 Sox entering the bottom of the 6th.

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 12:00 am
  • I’m just glad to hear that Drew singled… He’s cold.

    BirdmanofVt August 5, 2007, 12:01 am
  • Beltre has a fat head… Steroids.

    BirdmanofVt August 5, 2007, 12:05 am
  • Runners on 1st and 2nd for Seattle with no outs as DiceK hits and walks the first two he faces in the bottom of the 6th.

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 12:06 am
  • Hey, Birdman- nice to see a fellow Vermonter here.

    Ayuh - SF August 5, 2007, 12:08 am
  • Where do you live Ayuh?

    BirdmanofVt August 5, 2007, 12:09 am
  • I’m in Burlington, Birdman

    Ayuh - SF August 5, 2007, 12:09 am
  • I’m more south… I’m in South Burlington.

    BirdmanofVt August 5, 2007, 12:11 am
  • Ayuh, these commercials up here on NESN kill me.

    BirdmanofVt August 5, 2007, 12:13 am
  • Nice to see Dice-K get out of that inning. We’re now approaching the Oki/Gagne/Paps zone.

    Ayuh - SF August 5, 2007, 12:13 am
  • would be nice if tito actually decides to use the right people in the bullpen tonight

    Josh August 5, 2007, 12:14 am
  • Still 4-1 going to the bottom of the 7th. I assume we’ll see DiceK again with Oki/Gagne warming…

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 12:25 am
  • Leadoff homer from Betancourt makes it 4-2. Oy.

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 12:26 am
  • did you see manny jump?
    obviously futile, but still very out of character

    Josh August 5, 2007, 12:26 am
  • and where are oki and eric? remind me why we traded for him?

    Josh August 5, 2007, 12:27 am
  • cant use all 3 relievers every nite. Daisuke was going along fine so try getting 7 innings from him and u can save a reliever tonite.

    TJ August 5, 2007, 12:29 am
  • right, but one of them could have been used last night instead of the timlin disaster.

    Josh August 5, 2007, 12:30 am
  • DiceK gets out of it with his 4th K of Guillen. 4-2, going to the 8th.

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 12:32 am
  • >>>did you see manny jump?
    Yeah, that was pretty hilarious. He is full of pep tonight, even scored all the way from 1st…

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 12:33 am
  • I don’t think we’ll see all three of those used in a single game until the playoffs.
    I think the Gagne trade was purely for post-season; once the playoffs roll around, they’ll be able to use 2 out of 3 of them for every single game.

    Ayuh - SF August 5, 2007, 12:34 am
  • lowell doubles. as always.

    Josh August 5, 2007, 12:36 am
  • ayuh, agree …
    but still weird to see gagne now warming up after oki was already up … implies that we won’t see paps tonight (who is rested)

    Josh August 5, 2007, 12:37 am
  • ayuh, agree …
    but still weird to see gagne now warming up after oki was already up … implies that we won’t see paps tonight (who is rested)

    Josh August 5, 2007, 12:37 am
  • Lowell doubles, one out, Tek batting.

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 12:37 am
  • And Tek Ks. 2 gone.

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 12:38 am
  • Now Drew Ks, Lowell stranded, bottom of the 8th with a 2-run cushion.
    Nails, prepare to be bitten.

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 12:39 am
  • Gagne in.
    (What’s with the Cleveland announcers and dreadlocks? They’ve been complaining about them all night. They act as if they’ve never seen them before.)
    Gagne Ks IbaƱez, 1 out.

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 12:44 am
  • Gagne may have to become known as “el poco Guapo.”

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 12:46 am
  • Nice to see a fellow French-Canadian with the Sox.
    Lancez des prise, mon ami!

    Ayuh - SF August 5, 2007, 12:48 am
  • paps on the way after all. no oki, i guess.

    Josh August 5, 2007, 12:49 am
  • Come on, Canadian!
    Stolen base.
    Then a single. Damn it! 4-3.

    Devine August 5, 2007, 12:51 am
  • Merde

    Ayuh - SF August 5, 2007, 12:51 am
  • Hudson, explain “el poco Guapo” por favor. Gagne’s change up not working…

    BirdmanofVt August 5, 2007, 12:51 am
  • Long single to left makes it 4-3.
    Gagne hasn’t exactly been a stopper for us so far.

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 12:52 am
  • Double. Two runners in scoring position. Crowd is going nuts, relatively..

    Devine August 5, 2007, 12:52 am
  • wow. respect for manny saves a run.

    Josh August 5, 2007, 12:52 am
  • I wonder how well Farrel knows Gagne to give him an ass tap.

    BirdmanofVt August 5, 2007, 12:53 am
  • (Poco: Like the original El Guapo, but somewhat littler.)
    Now Gagne’s got runners on 2nd and 3rd, Betancourt batting. Oh man.

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 12:53 am
  • Jesus. Monsieur Gagne has all of a sudden turned into a big stinking pile of *merde*.

    Ayuh - SF August 5, 2007, 12:54 am
  • Okaaaaay. Papelbon is just gonna have to be Papelbon.
    How ’bout 2 runs?

    Devine August 5, 2007, 12:54 am
  • Phewwww. Inning over, no further damage. Sox need insurance.

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 12:55 am
  • Hudson- Gagne’s French, so a Spanish nickname wouldn’t really fit. I’ll have to ask my Dad (who’s fluent in French) what a catchy French phrase is for “fat pantload”

    Ayuh - SF August 5, 2007, 12:56 am
  • I guess poco means small. Rich Garces was pegged El Guapo by his team mates due to his resemblance to El Guapo in “Three Amigos.”

    BirdmanofVt August 5, 2007, 12:58 am
  • el guapo means The lady’s man

    TJ August 5, 2007, 12:59 am
  • grosse charge de culotte

    Josh August 5, 2007, 12:59 am
  • Lugo in scoring position with 1 out on the double to left.

    Devine August 5, 2007, 12:59 am
  • I think it means “the handsome man” or “the fat man” depending on context. Could have other connotations in Spanish I’m not aware of, though.

    Devine August 5, 2007, 1:00 am
  • Actually el guapo means the handsome one… an el guapo could be gay, and there would nothing wrong with that.

    BirdmanofVt August 5, 2007, 1:02 am
  • Oh no, I’m thinking of “gordo” when I think of “fat man”. It does mean “handsome” or “ladies’ man” or “troublemaker” according to a dictionary I just looked at.
    Youk strikes out. 1-run lead for Paps.

    Devine August 5, 2007, 1:03 am
  • Twice there have been 1-out doubles in the last two innings, and neither have scored. Very annoying.

    Devine August 5, 2007, 1:04 am
  • Devine – all this time, I’ve had el gordo and el guapo confused too!

    rootbeerfloat August 5, 2007, 1:04 am
  • Sooooo nervous. Would like to see them win at Safeco.

    Devine August 5, 2007, 1:06 am
  • Awesome, rbf. Let our ignorance of Spanish shine!
    Here we go: Papelbon vs. Ichiro.
    Strike one.

    Devine August 5, 2007, 1:07 am
  • Strike two on the foul.
    Was that not a swing? Guess not. Timeout maybe? (I have no audio.)
    Whatever, that was certainly strike three swinging.
    2 more.

    Devine August 5, 2007, 1:09 am
  • paps sits down ichiro in impressive fashion.

    sf rod August 5, 2007, 1:09 am
  • please let me go to the bar happy.

    sf rod August 5, 2007, 1:10 am
  • Vidro badly fooled, swings at a pitch in the dirt for strike one. Foul ball, strike two. Fouls off another one.
    In the dirt, no swing. 1-2.
    Strike three.
    One more.

    Devine August 5, 2007, 1:12 am
  • Paps is one out away…
    13 Mariner Ks tonight.

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 1:14 am
  • Any of you breathing? No one here is.

    rootbeerfloat August 5, 2007, 1:14 am
  • Strike one swinging to Guillen. Then a ball outside. Then another outside. 2-1.
    Mariners fans have settled down a bit (visually, anyway).
    Another outside on a questionable check swing. 3-1. Very close on the replay of the swing. Strike two swinging. Full count.
    Here comes the big one.

    Devine August 5, 2007, 1:15 am
  • Popped up foul, directly backward.

    Devine August 5, 2007, 1:16 am
  • 2 Ks by Paps, then a walk (with a very fast pinch-runner coming in).
    Finish it!

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 1:17 am
  • Strike one swinging Ibanez. Stolen base on ball 1. Good play Pedroia to not let it get into center off Lugo’s glove. God damn.

    Devine August 5, 2007, 1:18 am
  • Jones steals. A single would tie it.

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 1:18 am
  • Ball 2 in the dirt.
    3-1. Crap. Don’t give in, Jonathan. Walk.

    Devine August 5, 2007, 1:19 am
  • Stupid drama. Can we get a nubber to the pitcher on the first pitch here?
    Beltre…pops up to Varitek! It works! Ballgame!

    Devine August 5, 2007, 1:20 am
  • game.

    sf rod August 5, 2007, 1:20 am
  • Base on balls.
    Beltre batting.

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 1:20 am
  • is it just me, or are many of paps’s saves getting more tenuious and not lights out the way they should be?

    Josh August 5, 2007, 1:21 am
  • Thank goodness.
    Nails gone.

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 1:21 am
  • Wow …
    I second Paul’s emotion: how about a nice easy blowout tomorrow! We need it …

    pale blue eyes August 5, 2007, 1:22 am
  • There’s been some drama. Paps has his strong stretches and his not-quite-so-overwhelming ones, but two blown saves at the beginning of August is nice.

    Devine August 5, 2007, 1:27 am
  • I suppose “as of the beginning of August” instead of “AT the beginning…” would be more appropriate.

    Devine August 5, 2007, 1:29 am
  • Boston’s magic number is 47, with 52 games left to play.
    Assuming my math is correct, if the Yankees play .700 ball for the rest of the year (which would be quite a feat, but they’re tearing it up right now), the Sox would have to play .615 ball, i.e. slightly better than 3 out of every five games.

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 1:40 am
  • Actually, after tonight’s win Boston’s magic number is 46, but the calculation is basically the same.
    The big question marks for me are (a) whether New York can sustain this assault once they run up against the Indians, Chicago and the Angels in mid-to-late August, and (b) whether Schilling comes back 100%.
    If he does, I don’t see the Sox struggling to attain a .600 record. If not, there could be a lot of tense games at the end of the season, even with a 7-game lead.

    Hudson August 5, 2007, 3:12 am

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