Mark Loretta, in a feat of almost unimaginable clutchness this afternoon, beat the Seattle Mariners with one swift swing of the bat. In doing so, Loretta also perpetrated an act of incredible thievery. The second baseman’s two-run homer wrested the opportunity for additonal clutchness from the King of Clutch himself, Big Papi, who in previous at-bats had exhibited that clutchness (and in the 8th, a heart-fluttering almost-clutchness) that we all know to be of his awesomely clutch soul: two characteristically clutch home runs that tied the game up, and one mashed towering fly ball that fell about four feet short of three-homer-in-a-game-legendary clutchness. We point this out only because YF had taken it upon himself to follow many of the KoC’s at-bats, documenting with sarcastic snideness (and a hint of a tongue-in-cheek) how un-clutch he could be. For shame. Had Loretta not stolen Papi’s clutch thunder, we would have been treated to another at-bat on the edge of our seats, full of confidence that our hero would have come through. In the clutch.
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