Yanks vs. Sox 2006 Position Player Comparison

Okay. You asked for it, so here it is: A side-by-side, position-by-position player comparison of the 2006 Yanks and Sox. The results? We think we know where the division flag will be flying in October.

C: Jason Varitek vs. Jorge Posada
Jorge’s been working out and dieting this offseason, and comes into spring training, like, totally buff. Tek? Kinda tubby. Advantage Yanks.

1B: Kevin Youkilis/J.T. Snow vs. The Giambino/Andy Phillips
Even off the ‘roids, no contest. Advantage Yanks.

2B: Mark Lorettta vs. Robinson Cano
Loretta? Girly man from the NL. Cano rakes. Advantage Yanks.

SS: Derek Jeter vs. Alex Gonzalez
You’re kidding, right? Advantage Yanks.

3B: AL MVP Alex Rodriguez vs. Mike “My BA’s Fallen and It Can’t Get Up” Lowell
Advantage Yanks. Huge.

LF: Manny vs Matsui
Will Manny tank it or be shipped to Shea? Either way, Advantage Yanks.

CF: Coco vs. The Idiot
We prefer Count Chocula. Big time. Advantage Yanks.

RF: Trot Nixon vs. Gary Sheffield
Don’t even think about not picking Sheff. Or he’ll find you. Advantage Yanks.

DH: David Ortiz vs. Bernie Williams
Papi had his MVP shot in 05. We see a regression coming, and a Bernie revival. Call this one even.

Alright, we’re not even going to get into the pitching here, because that would just make everyone from Boston feel really, really bad, and we’re not that masochistic. But we will, ahem, close with this thought: Mike Timlin vs. Mariano Rivera.

Play ball.

19 comments… add one
  • Someone’s been drinking too much breast milk.

    SF February 15, 2006, 3:33 pm
  • David Ortiz and Bernie Williams even.
    So…
    Are you gonna pass that Chronic or what, YF?

    beth February 15, 2006, 3:57 pm
  • Beth, I think he’s kidding.

    SF February 15, 2006, 4:07 pm
  • Yeah, you’re right Beth. I don’t know what I was thinking. Papi and Bernie even? No. Advantage Yanks. All the way.

    YF February 15, 2006, 4:08 pm
  • Way to be unbiased YF. Or not.

    Laura February 15, 2006, 4:13 pm
  • Yay! I can laugh now!!!!

    lp February 15, 2006, 4:35 pm
  • Big Papi and Berned Out Williams even?
    It’s not April Fool’s Day yet, YF.
    Your whole analysis is absurd, but that one took the cake.

    Hudson February 15, 2006, 4:37 pm
  • HE’S KIDDING!!!! Jeez, now SFs have lost their senses of humor too. What’s going on here? Has everyone mind-melded with John-YF?!?!

    SF February 15, 2006, 4:42 pm
  • The Sox are in more trouble than I initially thought. I am excited to see them field the “Slowest Team in MLB” though.

    Nate February 15, 2006, 5:07 pm
  • //Beth, I think he’s kidding.//
    i guess it’s hard to tell the difference, sometimes. :-)

    beth February 15, 2006, 5:23 pm
  • best analysis I’ve read so far. Sorry about the Lieberman comment, YF.

    Nick February 15, 2006, 5:29 pm
  • Don’t you mean “sadistic”? Just like the rest of the post, you’re off 180 degrees.

    SF February 15, 2006, 7:41 pm
  • One he forgot to add:
    Fans: Yankee bandwagon fans vs. Red Sox continued die hards.
    Advantage: Red Sox

    Fame February 16, 2006, 8:46 am
  • Sox fans’ umbelievable oversensitivity vs. Sox fans’ amazingly dysfunctional sarcasm detector: PUSH.

    Rags February 16, 2006, 9:18 am
  • Very well researched YF. I thought that the Bernie/Papi analysis was copywritten by John Sterling and Susan Waldman last year on the broadcast.

    walein February 16, 2006, 1:18 pm
  • YF, you missed one KEY component:
    Field Personel: Kelly the Ballgirl vs. The Grounds Crew Guys Who Dance to YMCA
    The grounds crew guys look like they’d rather be dead and Kelly’s a natural and much easier on the eyes. HUGE advantage Red Sox.

    Eric February 16, 2006, 1:55 pm
  • Of the starting Nine:
    Yanks on the verge of a devestating injury: 8 (c’mon, Jeter is SOOO overdue).
    Sox on the verge of a devestating injury: 2.
    Advantage: uhh Yanks! 8-2 baby!

    airk February 16, 2006, 4:58 pm
  • And in the category of “Retarded Posts, its yet ANOTHER win for the Yankees!

    mattymatty February 16, 2006, 10:54 pm
  • I love the Spring. Everyone dreams of winning 130 games and it’s still possible. What about the starting pitching?

    Len February 17, 2006, 10:44 am

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