YFSF Haiku Competition: Winners + Daiku-i-Nator™

Let us begin by stating categorically that our Matsuzaka/Igawa Haiku Competition has surpassed our every expectation, in terms of resonse and genius. It was great fun, we hope you will agree, and now the results are in, the scores have been tabulated, verified, authenticated, and approved. But before we announce the winners, first let us offer a big YFSF thanks to our esteemed jury—Will Leitch, Paul Lukas, and Dan Shanoff. Their task was a difficult one, and for making it so you can pat yourselves on the back. In the very appropriate words of Lukas, “It was like choosing between Joe D. and Teddy Ballgame in ’41!” Indeed. So a thank you and a hearty congratulations to everyone who entered. Okay. Now on to the winners:

Jury Awards

The Bash-o Prize (first place): Yanks Fan in Boston
hub’s opening day
signs read: “we love daisuke”
manny asks, “who’s that?”

The Blue Jay Prize (second place): John
Matsuzaka hears
Sox fans on WEEI
Hari kari next

The Iron Chef Prize (third place): Spidey
Dice-K’s tummy growls…
too thick and milky! Chowdah
isn’t miso-based.

Honorable Mention (sorry no prizes)

Special YFSF Citation for Excellence: Whatever
Big move by Theo
Daisuke delivers. Yes? No?
Gorilla suit waits.

&

The Red Dragon of
high Nation expectations
slays Matsuzaka.

Special YFSF Citation for Excellence II: Rob
D-Mat is to Hub
As Hideki is to Bronx?
Not Godzilla, Toad.

The Proprietor’s Cup: SF & Attackgerbil (tie)
durgin park welcomes
but dice balks at the rudeness
baked beans not sushi
(SF)

Curt looks, sees no red
the cameras are elsewhere
Dice grabs the spotlight
(SF)

Grass in Fenway mourns,
“John can’t afford turf builder,
bankroll lost to Dice!”
(Gerb)

Curt’s nightmare comes true,
Killed, looted in Everquest
by Kei, buffed dark elf.
(Gerb)

So there you have it. The contest is over. But don’t think we’re just going to leave you high and dry. If you’re like us, you’ve grown a need for a daily dose of Dice-K haiku action. And so—thanks to the technical wizardry of the Gerb—we present you with:

The Daiku-i-Nator™

Bookmark it.

One more thing. Here’s how the competition was scored, just so you know this was all above board: The three judges were presented with a ballot of 10 haikus chosen from the field by YF and SF. Submissions from proprietors were not included, and an effort was made to choose from 10 different entrants. Judges were asked to rank the 10 chosen haiku from 1-10, with 1 being the highest. A first place vote was worth 10 points, a second place vote 9 points, and so on. Judges were welcome to write in haikus from the field. To follow is the ballot, along with the judges scoring tally:

A:
Matsuzaka hears
Sox fans on W E E I.
Hari kari next.

B:
hub’s opening day
signs read: “we love daisuke”
manny asks, “who’s that?”

C:
D-Mat is to Hub
As Hideki is to Bronx?
Not Godzilla, Toad.

D:
Big move by Theo
Daisuke delivers. Yes? No?
Gorilla suit waits.

E:
Dice-K’s tummy growls…
too thick and milky! Chowdah
isn’t miso-based.

F:
The Red Dragon of
high Nation expectations
slays Matsuzaka.

G:
The plane leaves at noon
Boras hung on money spent
Cash got the door prize

H.
Fenway, D-Mat deals
An autumnal Jeter jolt
Nation weeps again

I.
A ball that can dance
Yanks never saw it coming
“Whoa, did you see that?”

J.
D-Mat April Throes
The Bomber lineup explodes
“Me miss Tuffy Rhodes”

Scoring
A: 1, 2, 5 = 25 (1)
B: 4, 1, 2 = 26 (1)
C: 7, 5, 4 = 17
D: 10, 8, 6 = 9
E: 6, 3, 1 = 23 (1)
F: 3, 10, 7 = 11
G: 9, 6, 9 = 11
H: 2, 9, 8 = 14
I: 5, 7, 10 = 11
J: 8, 4, 3 =11

Winners: Please contact the Editors at yanksfansoxfan@hotmail.com to arrange for prizes.

11 comments… add one

  • Only three of those have a kigo!!!!

    walein December 26, 2006, 9:37 am
  • Well I’m not a Sox fan so I don’t know how Bostonians would pronounce WEEI… but if you just say the letters, it’s more than four syllables.

    Jordan Meisner December 26, 2006, 10:42 am
  • They like me. They really like me!
    It wasn’t my own favorite, but hey, I’m not complaining.

    john December 26, 2006, 3:50 pm
  • Bus+telephone pole=big mess. Server was down, some DNS seem to be lagging in repopulating my new IP, so if:
    this Daiku link doesn’t work, use this hard-coded IP:
    72.1.132.81/daiku.php” – this one will be broken after the repair is effected to my downed telephone pole. Since it’s QWest, who knows when that will be.

    attackgerbil December 26, 2006, 7:15 pm
  • Huzzah! A citation for excellence. Mom will be so proud. ;)
    Actually, mom would have no idea who “Dice-K” is, what Haiku is, and it’s perhaps 50/50 if she knows what a blog is. Heck, to her, teams “make a point” when they score a run.

    Rob (Middletown, CT) December 27, 2006, 10:38 am
  • Harry Caray is a late sports announcer. Hari Kiri is cutting open your stomach in an act of ritual sacrifice.

    Dan December 27, 2006, 3:25 pm
  • this is the single greatest moment of my life.

    Yankee Fan In Boston December 27, 2006, 3:33 pm
  • “Hari Kiri is cutting open your stomach in an act of ritual sacrifice.”
    Which is probably what Daisuke Matsuzaka would have had to do if he would have turned down Boston’s offer and returned to Japan costing Seibu 51.1 million dollars.

    Whatever December 27, 2006, 3:36 pm
  • A fine winter treat.
    Congratulations, victors.
    Back to the hot stove.

    attackgerbil December 27, 2006, 3:41 pm
  • You guys notice you got a mention in Extra Bases today? Thought I’d point that out.

    Laura December 27, 2006, 7:20 pm
  • ‘W E E I’ has SIX syllables just by itself and THAT haiku got second prize?!?!?!? Who were the judges?? Re-Open the contest!! We need a re-do!

    Amy April 11, 2007, 8:41 pm

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