***Breaking: Agassi to Pitch Tonight for Yanks***

AP – (New York). With arch-rival Tampa Bay Boston coming into town for a crucial September series, and with its pitching staff in a shambles, the New York Yankees have signed Andre Agassi to a one-day contract, terms undisclosed, that will allow him to start for the team tonight. Agassi, a US Open semifinalist, has the evening off from his tennis duties. It will be his first Major League game. “You all know we like aging stars, and tonight we need someone who knows how to mount an improbable, historic comeback under pressure,” said Yankee GM Brian Cashman. “Andre was in town, and he fit the bill perfectly.” Agassi could not be reached for comment.

In a related story, Steffi Graf has also signed with the Bombers. She will play second base.

17 comments… add one
  • also, inexplicably, yankees fans continue to accept with a straight face that a man who admitted in front of a federal grand jury that he has used steroids a) continues to play for them and b) hit a home run for the one win they’ve had all week.
    i wish that one were made up, too.

    beth September 9, 2005, 12:55 pm
  • actually, if you think about, starting a guy the Red Sox have never seen seems to be the status quo for beating them.
    Beth, that argument is endless, we should try to not get all the guys riled up before the big night.

    brad-sf September 9, 2005, 1:05 pm
  • Beth you hypocrite if he was playing for the Sox you’d be defending him. Don’t even try to deny it. The point is he ain’t using steroids now, or at least he ain’t been caught yet, so deal with it. Worry about your own players, maybe you should hook up some of your pitchers with steroids, they could use’em. Why is it Sox fans refuse to just root for their team, always coming in with the hate. Really Sox fans, seek help.

    Bozo September 9, 2005, 2:16 pm
  • i think giambi promised publicly to hit one home run for every comment left on beth’s blog per week.

    a rod September 9, 2005, 2:24 pm
  • hmm…i see i’ve touched a nerve!
    apparently bozo is psychic (he knows what i would and wouldn’t do IF one of our sluggers was found to be a cheater, which they haven’t, and it’s a key difference), and a-rod clearly hasn’t read my blog.
    you’ll notice neither post in any way refutes the basic fact: giambi has admitted to being a cheater in a court of law. and yet he is still playing baseball. it doesn’t matter what i would say in a hypothetical situation in which giambi was on my team, or a similar admitted cheater was on my team. attempting (weakly) to insult me personally doesn’t change it, either. whether or not i “would” defend him is completely immaterial.
    furthermore, bozo…whether or not i “would” defend a hypothetical player is debatable. the fact that you guys ARE defending one is reality.

    beth September 9, 2005, 3:31 pm
  • First off, this Yanks fan says that Beth is a good writer and provides an interesting and honest take on rooting for a team. I began reading her blog after a particularly infuriating post she made on this site and was humbled by how cool her site is. At the same time, I think Beth is way off base on this one. There is definitely going to be a time for Sox fans when a Sox player will test positive for steroids. This might happen this year, next year or in 20 years. It will happen. In all likelihood, fans such as Beth will act as Yanks fans act. Most I know are like YF, happy that he’s helping the team now, but very aware of his personal failures. Should Yankee fans sit in silence as he hits another game winning home run? We’re in the business of hoping our teams win. Of course, we’ll cheer for a victory. Did Sox fans cheer their team on while previous management practiced overtly racist hiring practices? Did Yanks fans cheer on their team as management did the same? Yes. To equate this attitude with some type of moral hypocricy misses the point or is so willfully unreasonable it shouldn’t be taken seriously. I root for the Yanks because the first game I went to was at Yankee stadium, I grew up near the Bronx. That’s it. I’m not sure how you want Yanks fans to react to Giambi? Should we boycott his at bats? Or boo him? Or say that every yankee victory is void since we have a cheater on the team?

    Nick September 9, 2005, 4:13 pm
  • Nick is right: we Sox fans will have to deal with the exposure of a “cheat” at some point, hopefully later rather than sooner. But it’s not fair of Bozo to imply that we’d support that fraud unconditionally, or root for him to do great things, just because he wears a Sox uniform. In fact, I would be pretty damn pissed if a contributing player tested positive, and it wouldn’t be too hard to disavow that person and their accomplishments. The problem is that baseball is not an individual sport, and as such a “win” brought to pass by an individual’s accomplishment (say, a walk-off homer) is a kind of moral dilemma. If I were a Yankees fan, I’d simply hope that someone else hits the game winner before Giambi gets a chance to, but if it is Giambi then so be it, cheer the team for putting the “cheat” in the position to pick everyone else up. Convenient, perhaps flawed, but certainly a way out of the trap.
    To clear something up, Giambi is not (currently, as far as we know) a “cheat”. He was one. Earlier this year Palmeiro hit a game-winner against the Sox during the “appeal” phase of his steroid violation, and that totally sucks, since he was, in fact, guilty; in that case a “cheat” did win a game for a team. It would be hell of a lot easier on everyone if Tejada had ended that game, right?

    SF September 9, 2005, 5:08 pm
  • A question for Sox fans, if it turns out that one of the Sox on last years championship team was a “cheater” does the WS not count?
    As far as I or anybody else for that matter, know there were no cheaters on the Yankees latest 4 time champs. Some Sox fans need to get of their high horse before they fall and break their figurative necks.

    bozo September 9, 2005, 5:33 pm
  • Giambi was not a cheat. There was no law or baseball rule against what he did.
    Have you taken a look at the bodies of some of you Patriot Super Bowl heroes. Do you really think mere weightlifting can make you look like that?

    john yf September 9, 2005, 5:34 pm
  • As far as I or anybody else for that matter, know there were no cheaters on the Yankees latest 4 time champs
    Bozo, don’t be ridiculous. Your statement is completely fraudulent – you have no way of knowing this (just like we conversely have no way of knowing the opposite, that the Yankees harbored cheats during their great run). Both are truly idiotic and unknowable, unprovable statements, so I am not sure what the point of your post is, other than to insult Sox fans and pick a fight.
    More to the point, if a player on the Sox tested positive NOW we would have no way of knowing if they were using illicit substances last year. It would tarnish, simply by association, the title, but it wouldn’t prove anything.

    SF September 9, 2005, 5:40 pm
  • The NFL has long tested for steroids and has a pretty tough policy, at least compared to baseball. The big issue is probably HGH, not steroids, and that isn’t tested for by the NFL (nor by MLB, for that matter), though it is illegal without a prescription. Here’s a dilemma: if an NFL player (or, let’s say, Jason Giambi) is taking it, can’t be tested for it, and therefore doesn’t violate the league’s rules, is he therefore “not cheating”?
    Football players are as you say ludicrously large, but they are on every single team in the league, so why do you focus on the Patriots? You can do better than that kind of juvenile fight-picking, can’t you?

    SF September 9, 2005, 5:51 pm
  • //A question for Sox fans, if it turns out that one of the Sox on last years championship team was a “cheater” does the WS not count?//
    i don’t honestly know, aptly-named bozo, but it appears the 2003 pennant still “counts” for you, despite giambi’s home run in game 7. at a time when he WAS using steroids.
    //This might happen this year, next year or in 20 years. It will happen. In all likelihood, fans such as Beth will act as Yanks fans act. //
    i thank you for your intelligent comment, nick, but what i’m trying to say is that this argument is a red herring, even if you discount the fact that you’re still using a crystal ball with no basis in anything provable. it STILL wouldn’t make it right, would it?
    i’m willing to debate on this, but please, find another argument.

    beth September 9, 2005, 11:18 pm
  • also, nick, i’m not saying not to root for the *yankees*. i’m saying if i were a yanks fan, i wouldn’t root for giambi. and, for the record, i wouldn’t root even for david ortiz if he was found to have used steroids. and i would be angry at him, as i’m surprised yanks fans are not, for the fact that he cast doubt onto my team.

    beth September 9, 2005, 11:21 pm
  • Beth; it’s a naive position. We expressed our dismay with Giambi early in the season, but there’s nothing we can do about it, and we’re obviously going to root for the guys on our team, regardless of their flaws, just as Sox fans root for flawed Sox players. Moreover, it seems the entire culture of major league baseball should be accountable for the steroid problem: no one is clean. Not the players and not the owners—and that includes members of both the Red Sox and the Yankees. To suggest otherwise, to suggest that Yankee fans have some special responsibilty for policing the game seems the height of both hypocrisy and absurdity. Face facts: the entire recent history of baseball has been sullied by steroids. It’s not just one man. All we can do is expect and demand more of the league in the future, and hold players accountable according to the rules that the league makes.

    YF September 9, 2005, 11:35 pm
  • Beth– I understand what you’re getting at, but, unfortunately, I don’t know if I can agree with you. As Sox fans, we have been lucky enough to not have to deal with the steriod issue much. If we did however, I honestly don’t know how I personally would react. I would love to say that I would never cheer the guy on again, and have no love in my heart for him. But if it was Big Papi, I would definitely be disappointed, but I con’t say that I wouldn’t still love the guy. He means way to much to me at this point. I really hope that we don’t have to deal with that anytime soon, but if the situation arises, weel, I just don’t know.

    Laura September 10, 2005, 10:12 am
  • OOps. Weel=well

    Laura September 10, 2005, 10:14 am
  • Beth, the temptation to bring up the hypothetical inverse of the situation is justified: There is nothing about the inherent nature of ANY fanbase that is particularly moral. If Giambi were a Red Sock, the majority of Sox fans would “accept” his remarkable 2005 season. You might think this unproveable, but I think there are plenty of sociological studies that would bear it out. Call me a rationalist, but, sometimes, I don’t need to see things to know they exist. Assumptions can be informed. Despite what the great empiricist, Carl Everett, says, people’s actions can be predicted in certain situations. I brought up the examples of both our favorite teams’ reprehensible histories with African American players to point out that to root for a team means often overlooking moral issues. To say that you or I accepted the Yanks and Red Sox respective racist histories puts way too much blame on us. Or maybe it doesn’t. I don’t know actually. But I know that most fans of the Yanks and the Sox don’t dwell on the teams awful histories with black players. And there are plenty of other teams to root for that haven’t been as racist. Is that acceptance on our parts? To call out Yanks fans for accepting Giambi is both self-serving (you appear morally superior to us fickle New Yorkers) and, to use an SF favorite word, simplistic.
    But I’ll follow your advice and not rely on the red herring that you call this argument. Rather, I’ll follow the specifics of this case. For the record I find the idea that Giambi’s story is somehow a feel-good story laughable. He cheated and his downfall was his own doing. And at the same time, if we are following your rules (“he (Bozo) knows what i would and wouldn’t do IF one of our sluggers was found to be a cheater, which they haven’t, and it’s a key difference”) then Giambi has NOT taken steroids this season because he hasn’t been FOUND to be a cheater this year. Therefore, he’s not cheating, right? So, if that’s the case, then he’s been doing this the right way, and rooting for him is not accepting a cheater. Or do cheaters not deserve 2nd chances?

    Nick September 11, 2005, 9:38 pm

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