***Breaking: Sheff To UN***

(AP) New York — With John Bolton’s Senate confirmation bid dead in the water, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow announced late this evening that Gary Sheffield would be joining the Bush Administration as the nation’s new Ambassador to the United Nations. “As Gary is the first to tell you, he is a historic negotiator,” said Snow. “I think we all know he’s not going to be shy about enforcing this nation’s perogatives. You don’t want to be on Gary’s bad side. Period. He just seems like a perfect fit for this administration.” Sheffield will be flying off to Pyonyang at the end of the month to reopen negotiations with North Korea, and from there will be moving on to Tehran.

You got that Ahmadinejad?!

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