Four and a half years ago YF (where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?) put up one of the great posts of all time here at YFSF, the original haiku contest to memorialize the imminent arrivals of Daisuke Matsuzaka and Kei Igawa. It has been requested, in the wake of the ignominious announcement that the Sox’ Japanese pitcher will have Tommy John surgery, that we have a similar literary competition. Seeing as how much fun that one was, we say why not. Put your haiku in the comments. Winner, to be determined by yours truly (who said the internet was a democracy?), gets a real, live gyroball.
We’ll start it out after the jump.
one hundred million
a ball rumored to cartwheel
the sound of a flush
41 replies on “Can’t Stanza: The Dice-K Tommy John Surgery Haiku Contest”
We want Daisuke!
Wait, I thought he was an ace
Where’s the gyroball?
Also, it’s fun looking bad at that old thread. My favorite (and probably the most accurate!) is from AndrewYF:
Pitch on four day’s rest?
Daisuke isn’t used to that.
Say goodbye, right arm.
Was that me? I forget if I had renamed myself AndrewYF by then. But if no other Andrew comes forward I’ll sure as hell take credit for it! Thanks Ath.
Here’s my contribution:
Oftentimes, with Dice
You have to roll a hard six
Got snake-eyes instead
wiggle shake wiggle
pause step off wiggle again
a throw comes at last
Watching Dice-K pitch
was much like watching Warhol’s
silent film “Empire”
SF, our haikus are variations on a theme.
You could finish Proust
In the time between pitches
Thank you, Daisuke
enigmatic, yes
something lost in translation
pynchon is jealous
ball one two three four
dice k is on the mound again
guess i’ll take a walk
arm and gyroball
One has ligaments, one is
merely a figment
like the noble koi
swimming in the universe
enjoy the sox loot
it’s not real money
or so sf tries to say
it’s hocus pocus
spring green grass and cash
Fenway Park now serves sushi
ball thrown to backstop
it’s not OUR money
who knows where it all came from
costlier dogs, beer
wiggle shake wiggle
pause step off wiggle again
a throw comes at last
My wife giggles whenever Daisuke is pitching because she thinks his wiggle-butt-shake windup is adorable.
Yes, he was a bust
But one thing we’re grateful for:
Mrs. Daisuke!
Kei Igawa sighs.
Trenton, close yet far from Bronx.
Two and two, so sad.
At least he doesn’t
look like a bloated fat toad
irabu was worse
Nomo, Irabu,
Matsuzaka, Igawa
Caveat emptor
Wow these are all good!
Great expectations
unrealized; less pitcher than
human rain delay
No wonder ARod has been struggling…
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/Report-A-Rod-and-Cam-Diaz-no-longer-buttering-e?urn=mlb-wp8557
You dishonor me
How can you call me chubby
I just take nibbles
Wow. I think Karl’s wins the contest.
Games last forever
Too many pitching changes
$ayonara DiceK
heidi watney wow
where have you been all my life
my wife would kill me
Reason #345 Why Nick Swisher Is a Great Ballplayer:
We has two walks in two at-bats tonight. That’s twice as valuable as Carl Crawford. And he’s not done yet!
Oh shit a Haiku
About a pitcher how true
Dice-K oh suk yoo
Nova’s falling apart…AJ-style.
YAY!!!! 2 WALKS!!! Whatever.
Bite your tongue, Sir.
I just have to say this:
What a dumb punk Papelbon is. He disgraces himself by blowing a FOUR RUN LEAD, and then tops that by arguing with the umpire and getting himself ejected.
My least favorite player in baseball. I don’t even care about the uniform. And I trust that many Red Sox fans feel the same way.
Well, Andrew, Papelbon is not exactly my favorite player either. But part of the disgrace of blowing the lead is on Pedroia who missed a double play which would have ended the game. And Papelbon has been royally squeezed this inning. The umpire is at least as much of an idiot.
tek shoulda bitch-slapped randazzo…deja vu style
papelbon is a douchebag…an embarrassment for sf’s who like to think their entire team is above such douchebaggery
wait, does that rbi count since jd drew got it?
Thank God Papelbon had the good sense to get himself ejected. Had the decision been left to the manager the game would have been lost before he would have been replaced. You saw douchebag, I saw player-manager savant!
using “papelbon”, “good sense”, and “savant” in the same, or almost the same, sentence is clearly in violation of this site’s TOS…can we get a ruling from the sitemasters please…
Go. Canucks. Go.
Back to haiku, please.
Batters confused, off balance, wondering
Fans, managers wonder too
This is the pitcher’s job
so overrated
stay in the crease to stop pucks
tim thomas huge fail
One hundred pitches
Four and two thirds nibbling edges
Who is warming up
gyroball next year
at long last unleashed
arigato, Tommy John