From The Onion:
"You said there would be no baseball," said Ortiz, refusing to leave
the car. "I hate baseball. I can't hit the baseball. You know that. If
you care so much about me and baseball, why you leave me? Why you leave
me by myself in Boston, Manny? Why you do that? Why you act so bad?
Boston's a good place."
"You need to deal with that, man. You need to come to terms,"
Ramirez said. "I never going back to Boston. But, man, look at these
kids. This is baseball, man. Little kids having fun and not injecting
themselves with steroids and women pills and just stepping up there and
hitting the ball. You gotta face it, man. We gotta face it together."
"Everybody's left me, you know?" Ortiz responded, tears streaming
down his face. "You left me, Pedro left me. The only one who doesn't
leave is Jason [Varitek], and he don't talk to me. He don't talk to