Last season the Cubs put out a starting lineup with Neifi Perez, Tony Womack, and assorted other no-hit wonders; with Derek Lee out, the team’s best hitter, aside from Aramis Ramirez, seemed to be Carlos Zambrano, the team’s ace pitcher. So whattaya do this season? Hire Lou Piniella to distract the crowds at the Friendly Confines with his kooky antics, and sign Alfonso Soriano to what appears to be the most ridiculous contract in MLB history. Eight years? Um, okay….