Forty million in cash for Jason Varitek, plus that no-trade clause (sort of). Put a ribbon on it and stick it under the tree. Merry Christmas!
I want the ‘C’ on my jersey! Oh, to be captain of the REd Sox fr but one day …
Top 10 Reasons the Red Sox’s Made Jason Varitek Captain
10. Kevin Millar was un-willing to give up pre-game alcohol binge
9. Winner of last year’s “First one to Slap a Yankee like a girl gets to be Captain” contest
8. Red Sox Management didn’t want to sit through another one of Curt Schilling’s “If it wasn’t for God” press conferences
7. Has critical “Special Olympics Hugger” experience management was looking for
6. Knows how to coax Johnny Damon into barber chair with Jolly Ranchers
5. Can speak convincingly to any of Manny Ramirez’s multiple personalities
4. Knows special “tuck-in” technique for David Ortiz on road trips
3. Beat the snot out of a bat-boy in final “full-contact” competition for Captain title
2. Knows how to work locker room fire extinguisher
1. Players fell for his “Less Running/More Cake” Campaign Promise
10 YFSF Bonus Points for Bob.
Bob forgot the most important criterion:
Helped lead Sox to first World Championship in 86 years, making roadkill of hated rival along the way! Merry Xmas!
(Special thanks to Bob for the most humorous post of a non YFSF owner, too – I heartedly concur with YFs award of ten bonus points)
I think it’s a nice compromise all around. Tek gets his money and his NTC (sort of). The Sox get back their catcher and team psychiatrist. The franchise gets its first captain in over a decade–especially important after the departure of Nosemar.
And I get a good laugh, while Bob gets his 10 points … redeemable at any YFSF site near you (Mons. thru Fris., 9 am to 6 pm).
some friends of mine and I are heading to Boston in May to catch a game at Fenway (I have to pay off a bet to a loser Sox fan friend of mine – it was either tickets on the Green Monster or admit that Affleck was right that the Yankees suck on national television, and that’s *never* gonna happen)….anyway, it’s a good thing Millar isn’t the cappy, because we’re hoping to get him and Boomer to come out drinking with us after the game. I’m sure I’ll just get shitfaced and cry at Boomer all night about betraying the boys in pinstripes. as for Tek….as if there was any doubt he wouldn’t sign. Soctt Boras, however, is still the spawn of Satan.
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