I’m 80% Sure You’re Confusing Me

By now, most of you have read that Roger Clemens is leaning “80-20” toward retiring. He says he doesn’t want to play, which suggests that actually he’s leaning more “100-0” toward not playing next year. That is if Roger didn’t believe that it is his role to save franchises in dire need:

“The teams that are involved, I think they’ve got really good clubs that are together, and if somebody stubs their toe and my phone rings in May, I might have to think about it,” Clemens said.


Roger would only think about returning if there were a real need for him. Say the Yanks find themselves five game back of the Sox in June, does Carl Pavano suddenly go on the disabled list with a season-ending injury? Interviews with him suspiciously denied, his whereabouts unknown. What if the situation is reversed and the Sox are falling far behind? Does Josh Beckett conveniently come down with blisters on all of his fingers? Is he sent far away to a blister specialist in the Andes? How far would either team go to get Clemens back? Would Cashman put his hand in a tub full of venomous snakes? Would Theo shave the Yankees insignia on the side of his head? Is it time to give up on the idea of Roger coming to either team? I’m 80% certain it isn’t.

7 comments… add one
  • [Sigh] I have nothing but respect and admiration for Clemens the Pitcher. Clemens the Man, however, can drive me completely insane.
    At least he admits that he’s a glorified mercenary. But still…doesn’t it seem like every time there’s a lull in the baseball news, he comes up with another “will he or won’t he” statement about retirement?

    mouse - SF February 17, 2007, 6:26 pm
  • I’m 180 percent sure that Roger is about 80% full of sh*t.

    SF February 17, 2007, 6:29 pm
  • it’s 80-20 that nobody cares, roger

    dc February 17, 2007, 6:47 pm
  • I wish he would stub his toe and swallow his phone. Just go away already. You were an amazing pitcher, but you are awful at retiring. Ability or no ability please Roger stay away from the Yankees. I am 80% sure that I am 100% sick of this man. He’s like Freddy Kruger or Michael Myers everytime you think their gone, here come’s Halloween H20 or Freddy Vs. Jason. This Yankee fan doesn’t want another sequel!

    Triskaidekaphobia February 17, 2007, 6:55 pm
  • What would you do for a Klondike bar?
    …would you kill a man?

    QuoSF February 18, 2007, 12:38 am
  • odd comment quo

    dc February 18, 2007, 1:08 am
  • Heh, love Family Guy.
    Nothing says “Please talk to me daddy” like a Fenway Frank.

    desturbd1 February 18, 2007, 1:10 am

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