Open Letter to Brian

Dear Cash:

Thank, you. We know that’s a phrase you don’t hear a lot. Don’t feel too embittered. Yeah, Beane gets more press and Theo’s cuter, but there are a few of us out here in Yankeeland who appreciate what you’ve done. (We’re the same guys who loved Van Gundy, back when he was driving the Knicks). We know how it plays out in the tabs. When the team wins, Torre’s a genius, Steinbrenner’s all about “commitment to winning,” and you’re either a lackey or a guy with a checkbook so large you can erase any mistake. Let them think what they want. The boys are 5 games up, and the season’s just beginning to hum. So we’ll say it again: thank you.

As for the future, best luck, and keep your cellphone charged.

YF

PS: Cleveland took Boone—Suckers!

4 comments… add one
  • Dear YF:
    Thanks for the plaudits. I will be sure to forward this upstairs. I asked for a raise a few weeks ago but all I got was a “you’re just a puppet and I think you already make enough money you little ingrate”. Maybe this will change my boss, er, Boss’s mind.
    Best,
    Brian

    Cashman June 27, 2004, 8:14 pm
  • Dear YF:
    Well, you’d think 2 of 3 from the crosstown rival would put the big boss man in better spirits, but no can do. I emailed him again about my raise tonight after we nailed down the nightcap, but all I got back was an immediate instant message saying “what, Contreras’ family finds a sympathetic boat captain and now you think you’re Billy Beane?”. So, it looks like I am going to have to try again later.
    Also, you’ll notice that I changed my previous email address. Bavasi and Epstein kept spamming me with stupid trade offers for A-Rod.
    See ya,
    Brian
    P.S. This is fun – I haven’t had a pen pal since summer camp!

    Cashman June 28, 2004, 12:29 am
  • Dear YF:
    To clarify the Garcia trade, I think there was a miscommunication with the Boss. He insisted that I go out and “do whatever it takes to get that Garcia kid”, and I had a deal on the table with Seattle for some prospects. I called upstairs to clear it with Mr. S, and when I said that we were about to acquire “Freddy” he flatly vetoed it, saying “I don’t want any Freddy, I want that Karim kid who beat up the groundskeeper in Boston last year – now there’s a kid with some fire in his gut”. So, I nixed the deal. Sometimes I wonder if my Boss really has a clue.
    Anyhow, hopefully he will let me go after Tom Glavine, though when I told him I wanted to set our sights on a former Brave anchor, he said that it would be “unlikely we could get Spahnie out of retirement”. :)
    Talk to you later!
    Brian
    P.S. Changed the email again; Theo sent me a bunch of teasing notes with photoshopped pictures of Schilling in a Yankees uniform and they weren’t very funny.

    Cashman June 28, 2004, 10:08 am
  • Brian:
    Don’t worry about Garcia. Next month, when the Sox are down by 13 games, you’ll be able to get Pedro for a song. And with him, holding off the D-Rays for the division crown should be no problem.
    Anyway, don’t worry about the raise. Down the road, when you turn the reins over to Donnie after your 10th WS title, you’ll get a book advance that will make even Bill Clinton cringe.
    Best,
    YF

    YF June 28, 2004, 10:35 am

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