Sign Me Up!

Bobby Kielty told the Boston Herald in this morning’s editions that he would entertain the idea of not batting left-handed next year in the hopes that it will spark some more interest among possible suitors. Considering Kielty is a career ..228/.329/.348 hitter from the left side, teams should soon be jumping at the opportunity to pay him not to do that ever again.

In truth, I like Kielty, and he has enough value that I hope the Sox re-sign him. In fact, he seems to have hit upon a truly unique concept: Receiving pay for promising not to attempt doing what he apparently cannot do. Imagine what other wrinkles in the marketplace this could create!

  • The Yankees could pay Derek Jeter to not range to his left.
  • The Red Sox could pay David Ortiz not to field (oh, wait…).
  • The Giants could pay Brian Sabean not to sign free agents.
  • The Orioles could pay their relievers to not pitch in the ninth.
  • The Marlins could pay their fans to not watch their games.

The possibilities are endless!

4 comments… add one
  • The Yanks could pay Hank Steinbrenner not to make deadlines.

    Nick-YF January 3, 2008, 3:50 pm
  • The Marlins DID pay their fans not to watch their games once. A few years ago, the team distributed some significant number of teal-dyed dimes around the city of Miami, each good for one admission to a Marlins game. Sadly, not all dimes were turned in to the Dolphins Stadium box office.

    FenSheaParkway January 3, 2008, 3:51 pm
  • Alfonso Soriano will accept no sum of money to stop swinging at everything. Some things carry their own reward.

    FenSheaParkway January 3, 2008, 4:01 pm
  • by the way, I don’t have the stats on hand but I’d like Melky to stop batting from the right side if only for aesthetic reasons. He looks awful as a righty batter.

    Nick-YF January 3, 2008, 4:10 pm

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