S.O.S.

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Do you have a +80s fastball and an out pitch? If so, the Yankees want to talk to you. Previous experience not required, definitely no age limit, bad attitudes welcome, must be clean-shaven. Salary by no means commensurate with abilitiy—they’ll overpay big time. Send resumes to: theshipbesinkin@yankees.com.

7 comments… add one
  • Wow. We truly do suck.

    Joe May 4, 2005, 11:15 am
  • You just know that Torre, Cash & Co. are praying that George’s horse wins the Derby this weekend. (He’s the favorite.) Or maybe they’re hoping he loses so that George can satisfy his itch to fire somebody by sacking the jockey, trainer, stable hand, etc.

    MJL in L.A. May 4, 2005, 12:36 pm
  • I think Cashman’s praying he gets fired. He hasn’t wanted this job for a while.

    Nick May 4, 2005, 1:01 pm
  • Goddamned Kevin f*king Brown.
    Start before last night he does his usual pre-game warm up, and then Stottlemyre (he made a good pitching suggestion!) has him do a “simulated inning” after a short rest.
    Result? 3 runs over 7 innings, acceptable.
    Kevin, of course, thought the simulated inning was a bunch of useless hooey that did no good, so last night he did his usual warm-up with no simulated inning.
    Result? 8 runs over 5 innings, terrible.
    For the three games in which he didn’t do the simulated inning, his ERA for innings 1-2 is 18.00, and for innings 3+ is 2.45.
    What an idiot. I don’t think there’s a recent Yankee I hate more than Kevin Brown. I could put up with his attitude if he pitched well, but, grr.
    I do think he can turn it around and have decent year, certainly better-than-league-average year, but he needs to get past this batting-practice-for-first-two-innings crap.
    In other news, Womack was ok in left, and Cano looked good enough at second, and Matsui was what I expected in center, which is average or slightly better.

    Clay May 4, 2005, 1:05 pm
  • Whoops, ERA for innings 1-2 of non-simulated-innings games is 24.00, not 18.00.

    Clay May 4, 2005, 2:00 pm
  • Keep up the good work, Kevin!

    SF May 4, 2005, 2:39 pm
  • The only thing Brown is going to punch are the buttons on his ATM machine when he deposits his millions (and his social security check of course) for a job well done. Are we sure Brown isn’t on the Boston’s payroll? This guy does nothing but favors for the rest of the AL when he gets on the hill. I love him.

    Brad-SF May 6, 2005, 12:17 am

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