Spare Us (And the Mick)

Fresh off the O.J. Simpson “If I Did It” fiasco, publisher Judith Regan is shilling a new book, billed in Publisher’s Weekly as an “inventive memoir” in the voice of Mickey Mantle, written by Peter Golenbock. Advance word is that it is “pornographic,” “vile,” and “exploitative,” and a preview of the text confirms it to be an offensive and deplorable crime against both the Mick and literature in general. You can be sure there won’t be a blurb from Bob Costas, and Golenbock won’t be getting any freebies at the Stadium any time soon. Our recommendation: hold off for Jane Leavey’s serious bio, also due next year.

An example of the awfulness is after the jump. [NSFW. Frankly, not safe for anyone with a brain.]

[On being with Marilyn Monroe]

Mickey enters her, going in nice and easy. The look on his face changes from excitement and pleasure to surprise and then disappointment. He waits for the yelling and the screaming, waits for her to tell him how good it was, waits for an ooh or an aah, any reaction at all, but no…. While he works away at it, Marilyn just lies there staring at him with cold, accusing eyes.

8 comments… add one
  • Wow, this from Golenbock, co-author (ghostwriter?) of “The Bronx Zoo”, one of the greatest baseball books ever. Woof.

    SF December 14, 2006, 12:08 pm
  • Jesus.

    LocklandSF December 14, 2006, 12:09 pm
  • This should sit well with his family.

    Brad December 14, 2006, 12:11 pm
  • Well, let us not forget one of the best stories ever supposedly told by Mick himself:
    “I got a blow-job under the right field bleachers by the Yankee bull pen.
    It was about the third or fourth inning. I had a pulled groin and couldn’t fuck at the time. She was a very nice girl and asked me what to do with the cum after I came in her mouth. I said don’t ask me, I’m no cock-sucker.”

    This, of course, was in response to a questionnaire the Yanks sent him in ’73 — Under the heading: “I Consider This My Outstanding Experience at Yankee Stadium”.

    Kluv December 14, 2006, 12:25 pm
  • Kluv December 14, 2006, 12:30 pm
  • Straight from the preview of the text:
    Mickey Mantle, Comedian:
    A girl is lying on the beach with no arms or legs. A guy walks up, and she starts to cry. He asks why she’s crying. She says, “I’ve never been kissed before. So he kisses her. She starts crying again. He asks why she’s crying. She says she’s never been screwed. He picks her up and throws her in the water. “There,” he says, “now you’re screwed.”
    Ahahahaha. Amazing.

    Andrew December 14, 2006, 1:28 pm
  • hahaah. That’s a funny one.

    Brad December 14, 2006, 2:15 pm
  • another classic mantle-ism…..
    “i never got a chance to be part of the mile high club….i did jerk off in denver once though.”

    sf rod December 14, 2006, 3:00 pm

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